Facade...

This is my first article here at read.cash, please bear with me until the end.

A beautiful childhood that is full of happy memories was torn by unexpected events that broke someone's trust and altered one's personality. Someone who you trusted so much, is the one who will leave a scar to your life.

I live with the trauma of yesterday, a trauma and hatred that left by my grandfather whom became a loving father and grandfather of my other cousins. I hate him from then up until now even if destiny already called him. I cried at his funeral but that is only a facade. I never been that relieved and I wish he died much earlier. Ofcourse I am saddened for my father as he lost his one and only father, if only he knew what his father's deed but I don't wanna hurt him more. I kept this secret from them and only few people know my experiences, I can even count them on my fingers.

It all started when I was 5, my mother left us to work abroad while my father is working as a security guard on one of the establishment here at our province. While he was working, he will leave us to the supervision of his parents which is convenient for him because we are living with them. Little did he know that he is trusting his children's life to a monster, I can't blame him he loves his parents and trust them so much. Don't get me wrong, I love my grandma but never my grandpa.

Everytime that he have a chance, he'll drag me somewhere hidden and there he'll savor my fragile body and wreck my childhood. I can't complain to anybody because nobody will listen nor believe my story. I grown-up with that kind of set up and was even molested by one of my brother's friend but thankfully they saved me.

One time while I was playing with my little sister, we were inside the house and we don't have any idea that we are the only one who is in there when suddenly our grandpa came in with his hideous and evil smile and there at that moment I know that something will happen, I told my sister to ran outside which she did and I ran after her but she were pulled by my grandfather and he tried to drag her at the comfort room but I gathered my strength and pulled her. I shouted help and luckily one of my uncle came in so he had no choice but to let us go.

We ran outside and I told myself that I won't let him touch my little sister, so I protected her from him. However, destiny played fire with me because the only person whom I thought I safely protected, experienced more terror and trauma than I did. We were grown up that time when she called me on messenger while she was crying, she explained that she can't take it anymore and wanted somebody to talk to. I listened to her story and there where I heard the most gruesome thing, she said this while crying, "Ate tingin mo ba malinis pa ako? Ate hindi na, kasi binaboy ako nila lolo rati. Alam mo ba dinala niya ako sa isang lugar nirape niya ako doon, pero hindi pa doon natatapos kasi ipinasa niya pa ako sa kaibigan niya na matanda na rin. Pinagpiyestahan nila katawan ko, ang bata ko pa n'un ate. Masaya pa sila habang ginagawa nila y'un sakin. Ate ang dumi ko, kaya di ako umiyak nung namatay siya, ni isang luha wala akong naramdaman para sakanya. Hindi niya deserve yung luha ko, dahil never naman niya ako ginalang bilang apo niya." And I felt that. I felt her sufferings and the trauma left by that thing to her. I was crying, the only person that I thought I saved suffered more than what I experienced and that hurt me a lot. She was devastated and hopeless that time, so I comforted her and asked God for protection and thank him for not letting my younger cousins to experience the same trauma that we had as a child.

I know that I am not the only one who suffered on this kind of tragedy and I want you to know that no matter what, there is someone who will accept you as you are and love you more than you expect. Hope you like my first story/article.