On Taking Responsibility For Our Lives And Supporting Someone Willing to Change
Note: I wanted to post this on 31 August, but I was too busy with other things it got delayed until today.
Today, Malaysia is celebrating its 65th Independence Day, or Hari Merdeka (in Malay). And I wanted to write a post on how we spent our Merdeka morning at the park, having a picnic with a group of friends. But I was stuck with what to write because I could feel that it would be just another bland post detailing a snapshot of my life. I had wanted to write about unity and maybe throw in a bit about the state of our country. However, no words came. So I abandoned that post for another day when I could think better. Not everyone would agree with me on this, but I hate to churn out a post for the sake of posting. I feel I need to at least put on more effort into writing something of value so it would be worth my readers' time and, of course, the votes I will be getting.
However, thanks to one of my friends whom I had a lovely chat with this evening. I had not spoken to this friend for a while because of the pandemic, and we aren't that close in friendship. So I was surprised to see her message asking me whether I am interested in attending a personal development course. She shared her challenges in life and how this course helped her to overcome her struggles. We chatted a bit about life and stuff, and I politely declined her invitation to attend the course. Now, I do see the benefits of the said course and am genuinely happy that it helped her tremendously.
I am just not ready for it.
Maybe someday, but definitely not now. And I thank my friend who is kind enough to invite me to the course.
After ending our conversation, I thought about it for a while, which gave me the idea to write this post.
What do you think about the above Oprah's quote?
Yay? Nay?
I agree wholeheartedly with Oprah because, newsflash, we all hate facing the reality of our lives and being responsible for that reality. It is easier to point our fingers at someone or something and push that blame on that person or situation. Truth hurts, they say, and it sure is. Blaming others or situations absolves us of the responsibility to make right what has gone wrong.
And that is why so many people are living in denial and find solace in vices as a way to escape, albeit temporarily. I saw someone posted this image here on Hive and I downloaded it. I can't remember who posted it, though.
But my post is not to shame those struggling with addictions or quietly struggling with issues in life and feel vulnerable. While I believe we need to be brave and take the bull by its horn and face whatever is ailing us, it is easier said than done. I acknowledge that because I am like that too. I feel it's easier to rant about things that didn't go well in life, but when it comes to finding a solution, I rather not think about it. Sometimes misery has a soothing presence because ranting about it gives us attention, "love," or "support" from others.
We are all walking wounded; while some are not willing to change, some are eager. To those who are keen, it is imperative that they get the support they need. Family members, close and trusted friends, or professional assistance can significantly support them in their journey. But bear in mind that while a support system is necessary, it is not a final solution because only they can enact the change needed to break free. While someone can help them from stepping off the ledge, they still need to do the hard work of changing.
Image credit: personal drawing
And if we fall under the "support system" category, it is important to be a good listener. I wrote a bit about it here in my post: When Someone Shares Their Struggles With You, Listen to Them, Don't Judge
And if someone is not willing or not ready to seek help, try to offer kindness nonetheless. I know this is a very simplistic approach, especially if you are dealing with someone who has an addiction and is abusive. I don't know how people can offer kindness to someone abusive towards others or wastes their life to oblivion with substances. It must be hard, and my heart goes to those dealing with such people in their lives.
I am in no position to advise on dealing with such individuals because I have no experience or credentials.
However, I think it's good to stick to a general rule of thumb - be patient, be kind, and offer support to the best of our ability. And if we can't provide anything other than our ears, so be it. Offer a solution if the need calls for it but respect their terms and pace. If they reject it, don't take it personally. It's not because they aren't willing; it just means they are not ready.
That's it for now. If you read this far, thank you. I appreciate it so much! Kindly give me a follow if you like my content. I mostly write about making art, life musing, and our mundane yet charming family life here in Klang Valley, Malaysia.
Thank you for visiting and reading my post. I hope you like it!
My First NFT Collection – Stencil 2017 – Is Now Available On OpenSea
My Second NFT Collection – Oli Kawaii Verse – Is Now Available On OpenSea
