Do you think you are a friend to others and not to yourself? Do you constantly feel that you don’t want to fail others but you constantly fail yourself? There might be times that you want to give favors to your friends and you forget to give favor to yourself. There might be times when you spend more time giving others their demands and you forget yourself altogether. Here are the signs that you may not be a friend to yourself.
You are constantly saying sorry
Do you constantly say sorry even if it is not your fault? Do you feel bad about what happened to someone then you just blame yourself for it? If it is somebody’s fault, you are the one who says sorry? You are afraid when others would be upset so even if, for small things, you are the one saying sorry. Others would tell you not to, but you do it otherwise. You just don't want others to feel bad so you will just own up everything even if it is not your fault. You think that everything is your fault and you start to hate yourself for that. Don't say sorry a lot, even in small things because you will look like a pathetic person that they will see you as a very easy person to mess with because in the end if they will hurt you, you will be the one saying sorry.
You agree to things you don’t want to
When others would ask for your favor, you would quickly say yes even if you now you don’t want to. More and more people would go to you and ask for your help and your list of the things to do for them would be so long. You just keep on agreeing to them then it would just go back to you because they will wonder why you still hadn’t done it yet and you just keep on saying you would do it for a specific time. You will look like a liar and pathetic in their eyes because you just don’t do what you have promised, or even if you will actually do their favor, you still don’t want it deep inside.
You say yes immediately
Without even thinking about yourself, you will just say yes immediately because you wanted to help them. Whatever others would say, you just can’t say no. You just say yes immediately thinking about where to put it on your schedule or you would just think that you have to help him no matter what.
You don’t prioritize your needs
You always put others first because you want them to be happy and you don’t want them to have any difficulties. You want to help them even if they can’t or they won’t help you back. When you have important things to do, just do it first then you could start receiving favors from others.
You don’t compliment yourself
You always give compliments to others but not to yourself. You always say kind words to them and always say they are good at everything or they are good at something. You compliment their physical appearances but you don’t compliment yourself. When you look in the mirror, you just don’t say words that are appreciative of yourself. Sometimes, you might even say that you are not beautiful or you just have too many flaws or your eyes don’t compliment yourself. You just say words that will just not uplift your confidence.
You think you’re a failure
When looking at others, you always say and know about their achievements or what they have in their life. When you look at yourself, you will just say that you are a failure and you’ve got nothing. Start saying that you will be successful and you will get there someday instead of saying things like you are a failure. If you will give positive words to yourself, there would be positive results.
You have a strong need to be liked
You wanted everyone to like you that’s why you will do everything they want. You are afraid that they might neglect you so you rather do what they ask you to do so that they would not be accepted towards you. You want others t like you because you just don’t like yourself. You could only just like yourself when you feel like others would want you. Don't let others dictate if you would be liked or not.
You are afraid to confront
When in an argument you just wanted to be quiet and will not talk about it. Whatever the other person says, you will just agree with it even if they want you to speak your mind. You don’t want to raise arguments but know that you have to share your thoughts so that you would be able to communicate with the other person effectively. You just don’t want others to be uncomfortable so you just own everything even the inconvenience that it will bring to you. Just learn to speak up from time to time and you will be used to it.
It's time to be a friend to yourself and has confidence within you. You don’t need to get others to like you because all you have to do is to like yourself. It would be better for you if you stop if you have done these things to yourself. You can just minimize doing it to yourself first and eventually you will get used to it and you will just be shocked when you don’t already do them. Know that you don’t owe anyone anything and you have to make yourself feel loved, appreciated, and cared for. You have to prioritize yourself too before others. If the favor of others can wait, you have the right to put yourself first. Don't be afraid to speak up of your voice and of your thoughts. Don't think that you’re a failure and start to appreciate yourself from now on. Know when to say sorry, and learn to value yourself. Give yourself compliments from time to time because you will need that