Have you had an experience you want to get over from? Do you want to move on from it? Do you just wish that you would be able to forget all of them? There are people who were stuck in the past and can’t seem to move on from them. It might be a piece of cliché advice to almost everyone to forget the past whenever someone would say they can’t move on from something, but how could a person do it? There are just times when we have feelings linked to that situation and there are times when we just don’t know how to deal with it. Sometimes people would just wish that they will lose their memory or they will have amnesia or they will have a brain malfunction where they would be able to forget things in like just a second without suffering longer and go through the hard process of moving on. The advice would always just say that you have to move on, but there is no message on how you should move on from it, no instructions, no details, no manual. The thing is we are all different in handling situations so you must know what applies to you that does not apply to others or there might also be that they apply it and it’s effective but it is the otherwise to you. There are a lot of times when we just want to move on from the past and continue to live in the present. Here are the things that you should do in order to move on from the past.
Take your time
The healing process does not necessarily mean that it would happen right away. Healing takes time and time heals, so all you have to do is to let yourself have little steps each day so that you would be a step closer to healing the next day. Don't push yourself to heal right away, do not let yourself be pressured on healing yourself. You have to understand that it will not happen right away so don’t ever give up. If it’s been weeks but there is still no progress despite the things that you do, just know that maybe you need more time. Other people heal from their trauma after how many years, maybe one or two years, and so on, so not being able to be fine after weeks or months is just normal and you don’t have to feel bad about yourself. If you will surely take your time, you would be able to build a strong foundation for becoming a better you. Building something with a strong and prolonged foundation is stronger than those that are rushed. When you are working on something, it would not end up in just a snap of a finger. Don't base it on time, base it on the results.
Cry it out
Don't act tough even in front of yourself. It is not bad to cry, crying helps you to express your emotions in times when words cannot. Do not think that you are pathetic because you cry, you cry because you need it in order for you to heal. You have to feel certain emotions for you to move on. If you will just act tough and never cry it out even if you want to, your feelings would just be suppressed and you will have a hard time moving on. As time goes by, that feeling that you hid inside your heart would still be there and you will still live with it because you never let it out. You seemed like you are letting a monster growing inside of you that will come out anytime unexpectedly. It is also good for our body to cry because it helps us release toxins from the body and it also helps us relieve the bad feeling. You can cry the whole night and pretend nothing happened in the morning, always rise up the next day because that might be the day when you are fully fine when you are fully recovered.
Recognize your triggers
There is a certain scenario that may trigger your memory because it is somehow the same as the past you want to move on from. There are also certain people that are linked to the past, there are certain words that you may be able to recall the things you want to move on, and there are also actions, places, song, or even conversations that may lead you to remember the scenario from the past that you want to forget. You have to know what triggers you and it helps if you would be able to get away from it and make sure that you are far away from the triggers because it would then be hard for you because you don’t know how to react or how to deal with it. It is like your body reacts in a certain way that you will be really stressed out and you have thoughts going on in your brain that you don’t know how to deal with it. Recognizing triggers would help you be away from situations, people, or places that might cause stress on your brain. It is not like exposure therapy where you have to be exposed to what you fear because you don’t have to get used to being around with it. You have to get used to being able to forget it completely and being away from the triggers really helps. Triggers are a real thing and no one should just take it lightly. It is hard to deal with mental conditions because the mind has the power to control you. Let others know about your triggers so they would be able to help you be away from those and let yourself heal with ease and away from the things that might have a negative effect on you.
Forgive yourself
If it was your fault, or you have done something, forgive yourself. You don’t have to suffer from the mistake of the past. You can change, and there is still time for you to change your life, your decisions, and your situation. You don’t have to be so hard on yourself and do not be so focused on your mistakes, let yourself breathe the air of forgiveness coming from yourself and let yourself grow and become a better version of yourself. The dwelling from past mistakes will just make you feel worse about yourself. Forgiving yourself is one of the things to fully move on from the past. Tell yourself that you can also be mistaken and no one can be perfect all the time. Forgive yourself, and let your heart heal from the past.
Forgive others
If other people wronged you, forgive them, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve to be happy. Do not cling on people that will just don’t do you any good. Start looking for people that would treasure you and value you. Forgive them for what they have done and cut ties with them. If you want to fix relationship with them, have a serious conversation with them but if they are not interested, then you can now move on, leaving them behind with the past. You can just have casual encounter with them but don’t invest emotions and trust with them because they may break it again in the future. It might be difficult at first but you would be able to do it eventually. You can forgive without reconciling. Just forgive them inside your heart if you don’t want to talk to them again.
Accept the past
Whatever the past you may have, accept that it is already in the past and you cannot change it. You have to let yourself understand that you have no control over the flow of life and you must let the past, stay in the past. Do not let others dictate what and how you should feel. You just have to accept that it already has happened and you will now move on to the next page of your life. You will never be able to move on if you keep on re-reading the storyline of the same chapter of your life. It is now time to flip the page and be ready for what the future holds by living in the present and not worrying and thinking of the past and the future. Just accept whatever happened and be prepared with whatever comes. Accepting the past, the unchangeable past would help you be able to move on from the past because you have no control over it. Just see it as an experience or a nightmare that you have just woken up.
Change perspective
You can also move on from the past if you will change your perspective, instead of seeing the situation as a mistake, you can see it as a way of learning the value in life through that certain past. Different experiences help us grow and learn things that are not written or spoken by anyone. It is when we experience things that we can truly learn. If there are people that have wronged you, just see them as people who let you know whom you should stop having connections with and will lead you to the people who would be better for you. It’s a change of perspective that will let you be able from the past by changing hurting scenarios into lessons learned in life. changing perspective helps a lot in life because you can have perspectives in everything in life. It is just up to you if you will see it as an opportunity to be able to be fine and happy or a problem that would hinder you from being happy.
Don't be so hard on yourself
Do not push yourself and do not be mean to yourself. You have to understand your progress, your feelings, and your thoughts. You can also find help and strength from the people that understand you. It is the result that matters and it doesn’t matter if you are having a hard time. Everyone has their own pace and you have yours. Don't torture yourself over and over again. The only person that would be able to understand you, is you and the only person that would be with you no matter what is yourself. So, always remember to be a friend to yourself, a mentor, and be patient because you do not need to be so hard on yourself.
Someday you will fully move on from the past and it would be the best day of your life. There will be no triggers, no emotions, no scenarios that will change your mood, and feel bad about yourself. Everyone is going through something and I know that you would be able to move on from what you are going through. Start being positive and practice these little things in your life that may help you move on from your past someday. There are a lot of times when we just want to forget everything with just a pushbutton but we have to understand that everything takes time, and it takes time to be healed. If you will apply the things mentioned above, it is most likely that you will be healed soon. Just don’t rush yourself, take your time, and understand yourself. To move on from the past we have to live in the present knowing that all we have to do is to move forward of what lies ahead. The thing that will hinder us to heal and move on is if we will stay living in the past. Do not live in the future too because you might miss living in the present. Just live one day at a time and let yourself live to the fullest, leaving the past behind and let the future be unknown until it will be lived. Only if we would be able to live in the present will we be able to appreciate and enjoy life.