It Takes Absence to Value Presence

Hello everyone! How are you today! I'd like to share with you an article about a life realization that really resonated with me. This article is about how my life is so much better now that I am around people more often, and more importantly the value that those interactions bring to my life.

It's funny how sometimes we only realize our true attachment to something when it's gone. Whenever you're alone, the value of presence is realized. When you're with someone, it's just a means to an end. Lately I've been thinking about how we value the things that most of us take for granted. Things like clean water, fresh air, and our health. We become accustomed to having them around, but take for granted that they'll always be there. Isn't it funny how we think this way? I'm astounded at the idea that we can become accustomed to anything!

What do you think of when we say the word "absence"? Maybe it's that family member who passed away, or a friend who moved. Maybe it's a pet you had to give up, or a beloved item that was lost. Maybe it's something less tangible, like a relationship that ended, or even just something you used to be able to do that your body no longer allows you to.

Whatever it is, chances are good that at some point in your life, absence has hit you hard and made you realize how much something meant to you. It takes absence to value presence.  We've all felt it: the devastation of losing something we thought would be there forever. The ache that comes when you realize the person you love is gone, or the heartbreak of watching a friendship fall apart.

We don't truly appreciate what we have until it's gone. Life is very ironic isn’t it? It's easy to take the ones we love for granted, and often not until they aren't there that we realize how much they meant to us. And the longer you're away from something or someone, the more you learn to value it.

Some people say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I say it's more like absence makes the heart grow appreciative. Think about it. Do you really appreciate a thing until you don't have it anymore? It's true, in a way that it takes a change of seasons to really notice seasonal changes, it takes absence to notice presence. Can you think of anything you've ever lost that you didn't truly appreciate until it was gone? I think we know in our hearts that nothing is going to last forever—but we can't be sure when something might end until it's already gone. We've all been there: left alone for an hour, we are bored out of our minds. But when the person we're with goes away for a week? We can't stop thinking about them.

When we have our health, when we have our loved ones, when we have work that we feel good about and friends who support us—we don't always see how lucky we are. But the moment one of those things is taken away, it becomes clear just how much it means to us.

There's a moment in every day when we stop, look around, and realize that there are people, places, and things all around us we've taken for granted. We know they're there... but we forget to appreciate them. We should do this more often. Take a look at the people around you, and really appreciate how much they add to your life. Look at your surroundings—the rooms you walk through every day, the streets you drive down on autopilot, and really feel how much they mean to you. Even the little things: the way the sun hits your window just right in the morning; how it feels when your dog licks your face; and even the way your favorite pair of jeans fit so perfectly in all the right places.

But don’t worry because sometimes we can recapture the feeling of presence again—we can find our way back from absence and into the fullness of being present. There’s so much of what makes our life great is already here—we just have to see it. In the midst of our grief, we're able to see what was truly special about that person or thing. We see how strong we are without them and feel a new appreciation for what they gave us while they were here. It's like an echo: absence helps us truly value presence.

This article wanted to remind everybody that there’s something in our life that are so great and so special and they should be cherished every chance we get. We should take advantage of the fleeting nature of the things we love instead of letting them pass us by—we might just find out how wonderful they really are.

It's not just people and places we take for granted either—I'm talking about everything: opportunities, traditions, habits, routines… It's easy for us to take these things for granted when we're in them every day; but when we lose them, then suddenly we start to feel their value.

So today, I encourage you to take a pause from the busyness of your day-to-day life and reflect on what makes you happy. What really matters? What do you want to preserve? If you ask yourself these questions every day, I guarantee they'll bring more focus and contentment into your life.

Lead image from centerforagingandvalues.org

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