Monotony Kills

Monotony is death. Living a life that begins the same way and ends in the same way is, to some, satisfactory. It, however, makes me feel like a robot - just clocking in at six in the morning and clocking out at eleven or twelve midnight. Then, the process repeats the next day, and the next, and the next. It does not end.

Living a monotonous life is stifling. Not only does it put you in a square box; but, in time, it will make a square out of you. If you are originally a trapezoid, a rectangle, or a pentagon, the monotony of life will make you lose your original shape. Your corners are shaved just right. Your beautiful, unique surface, which may have been rough or colorful, is made smooth and bland, until you look common, indistinguishable from the rest.

Monotony is a box that has been built for you to force yourself to fit into it and not a box for you to explore. It is a box that you cannot get out of. It is a box that is open; however, it traps you. You can jump out, but your mind says you can't. That is the power of monotony. It makes you become so used to what is the the supposed norm that you forget yourself. You forget that you can be better - that you can be exceptional. It makes you powerless to jump out and explore your surroundings and most especially yourself and all your capabilities.

Staying too long in this box of monotony kills. It kills creativity. Most of all, it kills dreams. Once our dreams are dead, things inside us die too - ambition, hope, desire for change and self-improvement - those vital stuff that fuel us to live.

Monotony is a sneaky monster. It makes us believe that what we dream is out of reach; not because we do not have the ability to do them, but because we are constrained with what we are supposed to do. We are entrapped by the responsibilities that have been hoisted onto us - responsibilities that make us guilty if we step out of the comforts of the box that we've been placed in.

How stifling. How utterly stifling. Sometimes, I cannot breathe just thinking about it. I look back and see that so many things have changed. Yet I have remained the same in this box of monotony. Time flies. Time goes by. But it's the same for me day in and day out. I want to break free, but I don't know how. I cannot seem to find the strength. This fear... This fear of not being responsible for all of my responsibilities has made me a cripple. I can walk. I can run like the wind. But I am a cripple. I envy those who are only physically cripple, yet their hearts, minds, and souls fly so freely like birds in the vast sky.

What should I do? In these four corners, I try to be more. But the space is narrow. It is very confining. I can hardly move, let alone explore. How can I escape this monotony? How do I begin to live? This is not a life. Or is it? I feel like I am just waiting to die.