@bmjc98
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I Want A Child At 35 As someone who is not getting any younger anymore, never gets pregnant ever, and has some physical needs (not the kind of needs you have in mind though) to consider, I think it's time for me to make a decision that will definitely change my life.
I want to give birth at 35. Is it wrong to wish for this? Is it wrong to want to become a mom? Is it wrong to just do something just for the sake of getting pregnant? Okay, if we talk about morals, yes, I am aware that my idea is a bit immoral. I should find someone to become my husband first before even planning something like this. But before you judge me, here are a few of my reasons why: Age Age is a big factor in my decision. I've heard that women who never get pregnant ever will have a hard time bearing a child at the age of 30s. There are several risks too: miscarriage, birth defects, twins, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, and difficult labor. So if I wait for more years again, then these risks will surely go doubled. Plus, as you all know, I'm a person with a disability, so if I keep waiting then it will be hard for me to handle my pregnancy. I only want a baby I don't think I could find a husband material. Someone who will truly love me unconditionally. Someone willing to take me as I am. And I don't want to wait and waste my time for nothing. Actually, I've already thought about it many times since I was in my mid-20s. My initial plan was to do it in my mid- or late-20s, but my conscience tells me to wait. I did wait for years. I met a few guys and all they did was break my heart as well as my trust. Now, I don't think I can trust again. I don't want to adopt And sorry, I don't want to adopt a child. I really want to have my own. That's unless I'm infertile, then I might reconsider adopting an infant. But for now, I'll stick to my plan. *So what exactly is my plan?*
Find someone. Discuss the plan. If he agrees with my terms and conditions, then that's it! I've already prepared some rules too. Here's a list of them: No strings attached. He cannot disclose any information to anyone unless I say so. The baby will use my last name and not his. He will be known as the father, but he is not allowed to demand or anything. These will be my rules for now. Who knows I'll add more in the future. Am I ready to have a baby?
I do think I am. I have save something for the future and with BCH, who knows I'll be financially more ready. Emotionally, yes! I also believe that if I'm a good furmom to my furbabies and aunt to my siblings' kiddos, then I think I'm more than ready for my own. Plus, I have my mom to back me up I guess. The only issue is that I'm a shy typed person so I don't know how to execute my plan. I know it seems easy, but it's actually not. I'm not worried about people's opinion, but I just don't have the courage to really ask someone to do it. By the way, I won't do it to any random guy though. There will always be certain requirements that I need to check before I say YES to this guy. And I'll make sure to pick the right person so I won't deal with future problems with him. *Closing thoughts* Before I lose the chance to become a mom, I'm just going to do it without emotions involved. Honestly, if only we could just download a baby on Google Play Store, I would love to download my future little one. I don't mind paying though. Am I desperate? Maybe, but it's already planned for year's so hopefully, I'll have the guts to do it soon.
75 comments
I support! Haha š
Aww. Salamat. At salamat sa malaki mong upvote. š¤ā¤ļø
Hehe I too want just the baby šš
I'm sure it won't be hard for you to find the man of your dreams and have a baby. Pero bata ka pa so mag enjoy ka muna.
I hate men. Haha š but yeah dreams firstttt. š
Don't hate men but just be wiser in making decisions in the future that involve men.
So, you want to conceive naturally but only want a man for a sperm donor. If you want to eliminate emotions from the equation that may be a little difficult. Your best bet would probably be IVF with an anonymous donor. And from a fertility specialist I spoke to before, a woman's egg ages faster after 35 so if you want to preserve the quality of yours, harvest it at a much younger age. The older the egg, the more difficult it is to fertilize and conceive.
Oh it can be harvest? How?
Yes, a woman's eggs can be harvested and preserved then used for in vitro fertilization. There is a laboratory here in PH, but from my understanding they only cater to married couples with infertility issues. There are facilities overseas that offer this service.
Haha interesting.
I'm 33 so I guess I should be in hurry then. Lol. Anyway, i want to do the natural way. I want to meet the guy face to face and know him a little more so I know what kind of donor he is. Plus, i think the IVF will cost me a lot.
Best of luck to you... may you be blessed with child.
Thank you so much. š¤
You need to get a man first lol
Hahahahaha. I know. The hardest part of all..
Speechless. I usually thought that this ideas only happen in dramas. But here you are, so bold and brave to exposed what you really want. I salute you for that. Well, I respect you and your decisions. Wish you the best in life š¤
Thank you. I've been planning for this since I was in my 20s, and I'm almost in my due date so time to really make it into a reality. Hehe.
Yes, do the things that will make you feel happy. Don't mind other people.
Naisip ko din yan dati yung gusto ko Lang anak at ayoko na mag asawa dahil puro heartbreaks Lang nararanasan ko but I end up having a happy family now. Ipagpray mo Lang MJ. I know God has some plans in you. Wag mo isipin na wala nagmamahal sayo unconditionality.
Thank you. Me isang taon pa naman ako para mag change ng mind. Hehe. Pero parang totohanan na to ata. Puro kasi ako palpak sa lovelife kaya Yoko na isipin yun. Pero God knows better do kung di niya iallow tong plano ko so stop na lang. Hehe. Thanks, sis.
My dear this is not being desperate. It is called making one's stand and working towards actualizing it. Its your decision and no one can alr you. Goodluck in your search for the right man. I hope you'll get one soon.
Thank you, your highness. I hope I can find the right answer first on whether or not to pursue this. I do want a baby but if this will do more harm than good, then I don't know. I guess I'll just pray and ask for His answers. Anyway, thank you for the support.
Totoo yang sinasabi mo sis na pag nag 30s kana mahihiraoan kana talaga sa pagbubuntis mo pero pag nasa tamang paghandle ang pregnancy is hindi naman risky. Pero kadalasan pag ganyang edad na nabuntis padalas cs bihira na ang normal. Hindi naman sa desperate ka kundi isa talaga yan sa mga gusto natin na magka anak
Yun nga ang sabi sakin e. Hay naku. Bahala na si Batman. Hehe. Nadama tuloy si Batman sa kalokohan ko. Hahaha.
Ang importante sis magkaroon ka ng anak. Sabihin na nating mahirap makahanap ng lalaki ngayon na magmamahal talaga satin pero malay mo biyayaan ka ni God ng lalaking bibiyag sa puso mo. Mag afam kana sis marami online eh hahahaa pero ako di ko type mag afam ewan kung bakit hehehe. Kahit gano pa kagwapo ang afam nayan di talaga ako nagtatacal sa convo namin kasi nasa utak ko s*x lang habol or fling2x lang.
Na try ko na Afam sa chat. Mabait naman sila at hindi maharot. Yun lang, nang iiwan ng walang paalam. Kaya wag na. Ehehe.
Wishing and praying for you to have it, Ate. But, unlike you, mas gusto ko na may lalaki sa tabi mo. A man that will accept who you are, with a disability or none. I know that bcz my Mama had proved that. Papa also has a disability, but Mama still love and accepted him, wholeheartedly. Maybe you say that you can't find that man, but you can. Kusa 'syang dadating for you :) Same as your baby, your own baby.
Ewan ko. Parang mas madali pa atang magka half million kesa makahanap ng matino. Hahaha. Pero si God na bahala. Plano lang to pero sabi ko nga mahiyain ako kaya baka waley pa rin to. Bahala na. Hehe
I feel ko din po iyan pinag dadaanan mo friend. Gusto ko na rin pong mag ka baby pero may mga priorities pa na dapat mauna. Mag 30 na rin ako next year, si dapat talaga magkaroon na bago pa magsara ang bahay bata natin friend. Pero di rin naman natin alam kung ano ang mangyayari dahil si papa God lang ang nakakaalam sa kung ano ang mangyayari.
Behave na lang muna ako. Bahala muna si God sakin. Me 1 year pa ako so behave na lang muna ako. Hehe.
Gusto ko yan. Kaso ayoko pla ng broken family š at yung iisipin ng anak paglaki na walang tatay š¢ Kya better single nlng forever.. Total dami ko kapatid š¤£
Grabe naman yan. Pero sa gandang mong yan tas talino and skills, impossible yan. Yun lang din iniisip ko, yung mafeel ng bata pag laki. Hayst. Baka mag pa old maiden na lang siguro ako. Hirap mag decide.
Saan ang ganda? š¤£ wala naman nagkakagusto ko. š¤£ Kya mag maiden nlng dn ako. Lol
Grabe namang yang wala. Ikaw pa!
considering the reason, i support your decision but a decent man first not the one with future problem as you mentioned. Good luck in finding the right one
Yes. I'll go for someone who is worthy of my crime. Hehe
Hmm your plan is nice but try to consider the baby welfare growing up without a dad, take it from me. No matter how much you poured love to the child he/she will be incomplete, in the later he/she will start asking who is her/his dad.. and felt insecure, inferior and anything that has something to do with psychological and mental aspects. I am sorry for all the heartbreakers you have..but pray that someone will come to help you fulfill your dreams without leaving you. Please learn to trust again but with limits, and know that there is no perfect relationship, we always have lapses so we should expand our patience to compromise.
Hayst. Yes. Eto rin din siguro. I know because of my niece. She grew up without a father figure dahil hiwalay mama and papa niya. And she was only 1 when she last saw her papa. Although a few years ago, me communication na ulit sila but iba pa rin kung present yung father. Well, plano pa lang to and knowing me na minsan lang naeexposed sa outside world, baka wala rin to. I need guts and I need more guts to fulfill this. Pero I guess, I should reconsider and ask God for his guidance Na lang muna. Thanks for the advice.
Yes because once you become a parent it's not all about you anymore, it's about the kids welfare..
True. And I also don't want to suffer my kiddo because of my action. Anyway, thanks ulit sa advice.
Sa totoo lng sis meron dto samin gusto din mgkababy nang walang husband. And yes, nafulfill nya ang goal nya. Ngwork sa abroad ay yung amo nyang lalaki ngkaanak sla at no strings attached. Nung nbuntis na sya umuwi sya ng Pinas at dto na ngstay. By the way nag ipon muna sya for the future bago inexecute ang plan nya. And now malaki na baby nya kasing edad ng baby boy ko, going 2 years old na. š I think walang masama dun as long as wala ka nmn inaagrabyado. Wanting a baby isn't a sin after all. Pero who knows the right guy will love you and be blessed to have a child with you. ā¤ļø
Ang dali talaga isulat ang plano pero not sure kung kaya ko rin Tong gawin. Pero after reading all the comments here, especially kay Eyb, baka stay put muna ako. Not gonna do anything stupid first unless sure na sure na ako. Kawawa din kasi yung bata pag walang papa.
sis basin naa d ay moabot..pila na imo edad? getting pregnant at 35 indeed has a lot of risks.. I was 33 when I gave birth to Matti, it was hard. If I knew mas okay mabuntis na bata pa, mas bata pa unta ko nagpabuntis..hehe anyway, basin naay plan si Lord nimo.. we'll never know.. commit to Him your heart's desires and plans...
33 na ko sis and going 34 this September. Lagi sis. Siguro ampo na lang and let Him do the wonders. Kung unsay Plano niya di na lang naku supakon. Salamat sis.
Good luck in achieving you dream...dont be discouraged, I see a great significance to what you intend doing. And who said you wont find someone who loves you for you are and understand you...I have seen it with my own eyes happen. Also just commit it to God.
Thank you for the advice. I guess for now, I'll just behave myself and avoid anything stupid. One wrong move and there's no going back.
Being a mother is a big responsible. That's why even my mom and I are not close, I really loved her , honor her and respect her. When I still young I always say that I just want a child, but seing those people that still looking for a father even their mom is already enough and raised them well, the longingness having a father is still there. The first foster kids that we foster before and now adopted of Americans, still longing for their real parents. Adoption - that's my line before, I don't like to adopt. But when we became a foster family saw alot of babies being abandoned, I was like - I'm going to adopt if I can. It's not their fault to be born without a parent. It's like my cat, I adopt straycat instead buying. Breed because no one wants to adopt them and give them a good shelter. And I neutered him because I don't want him to pregnant other stray female cats and abandoned them šāļø. For me, adoption is not bad. Even God adopt us because his original tribe is Israel ,Jew .. but us pagan adopted him because of his unconditional love. Oh davah article na.. š. Wala lang š..
Hahahhaha. Article ba to or comment? Hehehe. Salamat. Pero ewan ko ba. Nasasapian na siguro ako. Bahala na. I mean, I'll try not to do anything stupid. Maybe, I'll just wait for a sign or something, or focus more on the furbabies na lang.
-Hi Sis! It's a brave and bold decision..and I admire you for your determination and courage. But having a biological child only comes with Gods blessing through any way or instrument., like having a husband, that is the legitimate way in moral aspect, yet each of us has our destiny even the child that is going to be born because each has its purpose why we need to exist here in the mortal world, because of Gods plan for us with a purpose. Maybe your plan may be the way for you to have a child..but please take extra careful Sis, you should know well the person even face to face. it's not as easy as ABC, there is a physical involvement, you could never be sure of your feelings, and at the same time of the guy's intention. Please don't get offended it's a payong kapatid ha? Have a soul searching and spiritual unwinding..ask it religiously with God and he will give it to you in the right way in his perfect time, this kind of thing that only God could ever decide when it will really come to you ok? I have a n adopted child, I got him at the age of 18 because I witnessed how his mother died from giving birth to him, since I could afford to raise a child with the help of family I spent a lot of money to get him because you know well the policy here in the Philippines šµš, without money influence so hard to adopt legally then I was so young that time and single..but in the future I also wishing to have 2 to 3 children as I get married..thats why I also need to become an NBI to investigate well, my husband to be in the future hehheh! Just kidding...Career goal first for me this time...All I want to say Sis..seek Gods guidance..ask this according to his will ok? He has plans for you..enjoy life..you are a blessing to your siblings kids and to others just enjoy what's in your hand..count your blessings! When you walk in Gods path pretty sure you will get the best thing for you..I could never say it's a child or a husband..what is sure to happen IS, what's best for you is what God will give to you! So cheer up! You are beautiful, brave and courageous..your worth is a gem! OK always think of that!!!! Love lots Sis! ā¤ Have a blessed day!š·
Thank you sis. Don't worry, I don't get offended easily pag sa friends. I always respect and grateful for their honesty. In fact, I'm happy you said this. Maybe you're right. Better commit myself to God and let him do the rest. When I pray to him, I don't mention these things to him. I guess I should be more open up. Hehe. Ayoko pa habain comment ko pero salamat sis.
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