I was supposed to write an article about my friend's - @Firenze - business, but then something came up more important. I'm sure she doesn't mind it if I will postpone the article tomorrow.
Anyway, this post is dedicated to my friend, @Yudisutira. It's about her grandmother. As you all know, Yudi's grandmother was hospitalized last week and was recently undergone surgery. It was successful but then before the surgery, while she was at the hospital, she got infected with the virus. Then tonight, Yudi got news from the hospital that his grandmother is gone.
I feel sad for my friend because I know how much he wanted her to recover. He did everything he could to keep her alive but unfortunately, she was too old to fight back.
I know how hard it is to lose someone. But in this case, in Yudi's case, it's going to be the hardest. Imagine, he took her into the hospital for an appendectomy but when she came out, she's dead. And he couldn't even get the chance to see her or hug her for the last time, or even spends days at the funeral. 😢
I don't know her grandma or Yudi that much but losing someone you love so dearly is never easy. It likes you've lost a huge part of your life, and that you will never see them again.
I know the feeling because I lost a few loved ones too. First, my dad. 😢
I know this isn't about my story, but just let me share something first.
I was a daddy's and mommy's girl. Since I'm the youngest and the one that needed so much attention for the rest of my siblings, my parent's attention was all on me.
And of all the children, I think I was my dad's most favorite, too. Every day, we always had this father-daughter time. My dad liked to share stories of when he was still young, how he met mom, his hopes and dreams for his children, and many other things. Those stories will always be one of my favorites.
Aside from that, he would also sing for me those old songs that you could only hear every Sunday. Sometimes, he would dance, though, he wasn't that good, but it made me smile every time.
My dad was never rough to me. For him, I was the princess. He always defended me when my older brother would bully me or demanded me to wash the dishes. Hehe. I guess that's one of the reasons why my brother and another sister never like me that much.
Fast forward, he was resting at our little Bahay-Kubo one afternoon. Then he came to my room, and he could barely talk. I called mom right away. Then he started to mumbled until he fell. Mom got panic and then asked for help from his brother. Then they rushed him to the hospital.
I was shocked coz that was the first time that I witnessed something like that. 😢 They were at the hospital for 3 days, and I was at home. On the fourth day, they let me see my dad, so I went there with my uncle.
It was my first time to see my dad in that awful situation. He was in bed with so many tubes around. He couldn't talk, but he could still hear me. His body temperature was too hot. By the way, his room was a huge one with probably 6 other beds for other patients is. Then there was a vacant bed at that time because the last patient had gone that day.
The night before, they wanted me to stay with my aunt but I refused. I told mom that I could sleep on the vacant bed. So I was there and now and then, I would look at my dad and check on him. There, I saw my mom trying to comfort than. Wipe with a sponge. I also remember dad was trying to hug her.
I thought he was going to be okay. I thought there was hope. I thought he was improving. Then the next morning, dad was trying to talk but he couldn't. So they gave him a sheet of paper for him to write what he wanted to say. But again, he couldn't.
Then a few hours after, a doctor came. 😢😢 And told us the worst news. She said to mom that dad won't be staying for too long; that we should prepare ourselves. I burst into tears when I heard her for the first time. I wanted to tell her that only God could predict the end of someone's life. We were crying for hours. Until my aunt decided to take me home with her. I never wanted to but there was no longer a vacant bed on that day.
So I went to my aunt's house. I went to bed. Prayed to God that He would save my dad. Then around 11, my aunt woke me up crying, and then I suddenly knew that there was something wrong. Then she told me that my dad was already gone. 💔💔💔
I cried and cried for hours. I couldn't sleep. My aunt left me with my cousins so she could accompany my mom. I cried while everyone was sleeping. Then I was still crying when they woke up.
When mom came that morning, we hugged so tight and started crying again. I shed so many tears that day. Then we decided to go back to our place, my grandparents' place where we lived with them. When we arrived, there was no sign of a coffin yet. Then an hour after, there he was.
I busted in tears again. I couldn't believe seeing him in that box. I wanted to believe that it was just one of my nightmares. But it was the other way around. I wanted to hug him and save him in that box. 😢😭💔
Every night, I would cry nonstop because I lost my dad. And every morning, I would talk to him and cry again. Then on his last day, it was time for us to send him to his resting place. That day, was the saddest and the hardest day of my life. I cried the whole time, from the last prayer that was held at home to going to church, during the mass, and in the cemetery.
The third worst moment in my life was when they started lowering his coffin to the ground, then they started covering him with soil. Again, I burst into tears, and I heard my mom crying so loud. I almost wanted to die that day so dad won't have to be alone in there. 💔
Even today, whenever I think of him and the whole thing, I couldn't help myself but cry. I was only 20 at that time, and it's been 13 years already. Every time I see an old man, I would get teary-eyed, because it reminded me of him.
Even though we were closed. I barely said to my dad that I love him. I know he knew, but it would have been so nice if I did tell him that. That I appreciated everything he did for our family. For always trying his best and going to work even if he had arthritis, just to provide for all of us.
It would have been so nice if I hugged him more often that time. Although I sometimes did, it could have been better if he knew I value him more than anything in this world. But it was too late. I hadn't got the chance to say all those things. I lost the opportunity to tell him those things, and that was and is always been ng biggest regret in my life.
But then, I know God has His reasons and we all going to die, anyway. And I know, one day, I'm going to see him again. And I'm sure, when it's my turn to die, he would be the first to hug me. 💔😭💔
That's why to all who are reading this post, whether it's your parents, wife, husband, kids, grandparents, anyone you care most, tell them how you feel. Hug them often, tell them you love them, appreciate them, respect them, and make them feel they are special because you'll never know what's going to happen next. Remember, they aren't always here to stay.
Sorry for another long article. And to @Yudisutira, stay strong my friend. I know that no words could make you feel better now but know that your Kiki friends are just one message away. I am just a text away. Stay strong.
**Photo from Unsplash.