Why Communicate?

It was just my second meeting in Purposive Communication class but I did not expect to gain some realizations that fast. I was familiar with the concept of communication, its process, and its principles. However, I have never think of something deeper until that meeting happened.

Communication is described as a two-way process. But I realized, it is beyond that. Communication is not merely about comprehending what others are saying, but also listening and observing the subconscious message in every word they throw at us. It is relevant to me, as a student nurse, to be able to read between the lines of our client. Communication is needed to establish a good relationship. In that way, I can make better actions for the conditions each client is facing. Also, it will help me do my work faster and more efficiently.

Aside from academic realizations, I also have some social realizations. I learned the importance of opening a part of oneself to others. It is quite difficult for me to share something personal with others, like my friends and family. But if I keep on doing this, it will exhaust my mental health and I do not want them to worry that much for me. I am trying to open up myself but it can't be helped especially when my anxiety kicks in. That is why I'm grateful for those people that serve as my support system. They have always been helping me through ups and downs. They never failed to get in touch with me so I can communicate with them from time to time even though we are all busy with our own lives.

Last but the most important realization that hit me, is my way of communication with myself. Ever since I learned how to talk to myself because I do not have any siblings to talk to. But I did not know if I was listening to what my inside is saying. Those decisions I made for myself, was not entirely my own. I have always considered the people around me.

What would they think?

What would they say?

What if they leave me?

What if it is inappropriate to them?

These are some of the questions I ask myself before coming up with a decision. I think I am a utilitarianist in this part because I would always want the best for everyone, not minding what would happen to me. It was selfless but, I do not mind. It is just that, I'm slowly feeling empty inside. Maybe this is the consequence of giving too much, of being too kind, of being too considerate.

In my point of view, the art of communication starts inside us. We cannot hear others if we do not understand our voice. My course opened my eyes to this. It is not all about communicating with oneself. It is also about loving oneself. Sometimes, we become anxious too much about what others will view us but, it is not that important. What important is, I know who I am and what I am. Things would be more difficult if we let others define who we are.

So now, I have decided to let myself rule myself. This is not being selfish.