@bheng620 23 May 2021 more from that month

I Did My Best But I Guess My Best Wasn't Good Enough

Good evening to all, how are you? This article of mine here today's based on my own experience and story, lol, please bear with me po for that. Wanna take this one or chance to say thank you to the following who listens and gave me an advice when i asked and tell them what and how i'm feeling this morning. To @Kryptlook , @Jeaneth , @Ruffa @Yen , @Eybyoung, @Jane, thank you po sa pakikinig at sa advice po, magaan na po ang pakiramdam ko po ngayon dahil po sa inyong lahat po :) https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=821117675499744&id=100028045580752, this is the link from my fb page or wall, it's the song that's inspired from this article and kinda fit and similar to how i'm feeling and thinking this morning, lol, it's from James Ingram, going to share the lyrics of this song below, hope you will like it po :) Just Once- James Ingram I did my best But I guess My best wasn't good enough Cause here We are Back where We were before Seems nothin' ever changes We're back to being Strangers Wondering if We ought to stay Or head on out the door Just once Can't We figure out what We keep doin' wrong Why We never last for very long What are We doin' wrong Just once Can't We find a way to finally make it right To make the magic last for more than just one night If We could just get to it I know We could break through it Hmm hmm I gave My all But I think My all may have been too much Cause Lord knows We're not gettin' anywhere Seems like We're always blowin' Whatever We've got goin' And it seems at times with all We've got We haven't got a Prayer Just once Can't We figure out what We keep doin' wrong Why the good times never last for long Where are We goin' wrong Just once Can't We find a way to finally make it right To make the magic last for more than just one night I know We could break through it If We could just get to it Just once I want to understand Why it always comes back to goodbye Why Can't We get Ourselves in hand And admit to one another We're no good without each other Take the best and make it better Find a way to stay together Just once Can't We find a way to finally make it right Make the magic last for more than just one night I know We could break through it If We could just get to it Just once Whoa oh, We can get to it Just once Like my article's title here for today po, i did my best but i guess my best wasn't good enough 'coz right now, everything's going to end for an instant or right before my very eyes po, lol. Everytime, it's always been my fault 'coz i never listened, understand, comprehend, believed, trust, think and feel. Everytime, if things like this and that happenens, it's my fault, only my fault, my wrong, lol, sometimes i even asked myself, why and where i went wrong? Is it wrong to never tell everything or the whole truth? 'coz you only want you be the one to get or be hurt and not the person you love. Why does it seems that your family's always the reason for your heartbreak? Why and how come things like that always happens at you? Are you not destined to love or you're just unlucky on it? Why things like that always happened to you, is it deja vu? I did my best but i guess my best wasn't good enough, really not good enough, lol, for 2 years, all i did was to protect the one i love, prefer or choose to be the one who'll get hurt and not him 'coz i can't bear to see him hurt, that's the last thing i would want him to be. Guess for him, i'm just lying, full of BS, playing games and never serious, lol, when in fact, i did and endured it all. I never listened to the advice, warnings i heard or get from the people here 'coz all i want, think and worried 'bout is him, how important he is to me that i never think, care or mind anything or everything anymore including my own job or work here. I got warned, received many memos from my previous work and even on my own family and friends and workmates here but i never listened to any of it or to them all, i do what i want and follow what i feel but now, look where it got me? Lol, in a blink of an eye, i'm the one to blame, always the one to blame or it's always been my fault. My fault 'coz i never really think, feel, comprehend, understand, respect, love him for 2 years, all i do's lie, play games, lol. Maybe i did play games and really lie at him to even have myself sent him some money, cards before, even asked my other work colleagues for a favor just so i can surprised him on his birthday and on father's day, and even wrote a note on a piece of white paper while my workmate's holding it and showed it to him. Did everything for him before, had violated the hotel's rules and policy and uses my phone while working just so he can see what i'm doing there or what my work there is, never think and mind that by doing that, i might get kick out of my work 'coz of it. Now, blaming myself and saying that it's really my fault, then and now, everytime we had this one, i never complained and tried to understand him, really tried to understand him but now, i guess it's really going to be over, lol, so much for thinking of protecting someone that i love, now, he won't listened at me just 'coz i never tell him everything, 'coz of not answering the calls, 'coz of not understanding, listening, comprehending, thinking of the things he said and wanted to do or me to do, lol. I did my best, really did my best but i guess my best wasn't good enough, really not good enough for him, for 2 years, he blamed me especially to the first guy i met, to my mother, told him that he don't need to think and worry 'bout my mother 'coz i'm the one who's going to deal with her, is it wrong? Why does it seems and felt like i'm not lucky in love, why am i always the one who got hurt? What did i do wrong or where did i do wrong? Why things like this always happens to me? Do i need to find myself first before i do things like this again? For 2 years, i never think of my sake or myself nor my work, i never care even i lost my job or work that time, i never mind or care if i argue with my mother and hurt her emotionally 'coz of him but where is he right now? Now, he never cared and listened at me, even told me to find another guy, really? Lol, i guess i'm a bad person, i'm full of lies, full of BS, never think, listen, understand, comprehend, yes, that's me, i'm all of it, i guess and he was right 'bout that, lol