As I write this I hope to feel the weight dragging me all day drop like petals, one by one till nothing is left and I'm floating on air. Don't mind my exaggerations. I need them. Thoughts of you have crept in since I stopped keeping watch and are now affecting my daily life.
I can't think of anyone else right now. Well, not entirely true. I can assure though that there is none I see as brightly as you. You'll probably never read this. It might not even happen. You might never love me. Not in the manner I desire. And that's okay.
I'm a handful. Understatement of the weekend. I'm a jack in a box except not as fun. I'm just a survivor of this world. Which is why it's okay. You're a survivor too. I can't try to make you pick me. That would be rude.
I hope you're okay. Sorry I didn't ask sooner. I said I needed space-not from you. Sometimes I feel like I'm having a heart attack just because I went a few days without hearing your voice. I stare at your face all day in my head. I dream of you.
A few times really. I think of us, of what we could be. Then I think it fallacy. How can I plot swimming lessons for someone who hasn't even peeped his toe in a pond. I won't make you drink water even the horse refused. I can't think of anything but you.
How to help you. To make you happy. Am I even enough? Can I make you happy?
Look into my eyes...
Did your heart flutter?
Mine does
There are things you say, offhand statements you make where mine does.
And I want to run to you. Hug you. Hold you. Love me. Love you. Make you smile. Make you laugh. Tease your eyes as you tease mine. There are days where I just want you to myself and whatever I do I won't be satisfied. Which was how I found out I loved you.
You can imagine how scared I must've been. It's only been a few months. Logically speaking this shouldn't have occured. I can feel you smiling, a gentle one. Your most honest grins aren't shit-eating; they're as warm as the sun. I wish I could love you
But first
You have to love me too.
