The memories still hurts

Waking up to the melodic sound of birds chirping, my body pressed upon my soft mattress, the sheets felt like I was resting on a pile of feathers, inhaling the soft aroma of my mum's cooking, this was what peace felt like.

Once upon a time I lived in fear, fear of judgment, fear living, fear of breathing, The images I have of him ignite more pains when I look at them, knowing he made the worst impact on me, not just me but my mum and little brother, he made himself a god, he treated us like we were actually nothing , fear of the man whom they call my father!

A man who made living seem like a burden, I hoped that freedom to live without fear would peek through the window, just a glimpse, I prayed for just a glimpse!

The sight of my mum weeping in agony would never exit my memory, the bruises and scars he left still appear like fresh wounds, her sound of tears late at night, oh how I wished for a happy life!

My days of feeling down, suicidal thoughts and anguish, I thought escaping from all the drama would solve my problem, then I remembered, how could I do that to my mother, not at her saddest moment, not when she needed me the most!

Seeing him made me scared, having no friends made it hard to have someone who could comfort me, no one wanted to be close to me, it was like I had a plague, I wished I could disappear, but where to? whom to? Who would accept me if I told them what really has happened, they may think my problems were airborne.

His family act like nothing happened when they know the story down to the roots, how evil could life literally get, I have a granddaddy whom I haven’t talked to in five years, an aunt who doesn’t reach out to me, uncles who don’t care about my existence, but it doesn’t matter, i have been through a lot and I overcame, I don’t let myself get bothered with petty issues anymore, on my way to get my best life!

I am glad it is all in the past now, and trying go get the scars out of my head, healing is hard but it’s all a process, it’ll happen eventually.

This is the story of a friend I just met recently on the tennis court. Imagine what she has gone through living. Life wasn’t life for her and why?

Because someone who should have protected and guided her decided to be a di*k. Why get married if you know you won’t be a great person to your partner?
Just as how sad this story is, there are lot more, much worse than this and it saddens my heart to know that this kind of thing exits. If we can’t love ourselves, then there is no need to be together

coverphoto: unsplash.com