From Me To You

"Did you love me?"

Was the last thing I remembered from the party last night. My head ached as I rolled out of my bed, it's still nighttime, but something woke me up. I inhaled then exhaled loudly as I head to my bathroom, my head feeling heavier with each step I take.

I didn't want to stand up nor go to the bathroom to do my thing because of the numbing feeling that I felt earlier. I finished my business in the bathroom as quickly as possible which made my head throb.

I'm currently sitting at the couch beside my window, my droopy eyes focused at the bright screen of my phone. My fingers tapped the letters on my keyboard as if I was being chased by the thoughts that's slowly filling my head.

'Why did we have to part ways?'

'Why did we have to end?'

'Did he fall out of love?'

'Was it all my fault?'

Were the questions that kept on running in my head. My chest tightened as the emotions that I was trying to bury awhile ago came crashing back to me. I paused for a second, glancing outside, taking a few seconds to appreciate the beauty of the dark sky. Then I let out a loud sigh, followed with a groan of frustration.

I wanted to throw my phone away so badly as the feelings that I was trying to suppress bloomed back inside me. It felt as if it was the first time I ever felt in love. As if he was the only person who made me feel loved...

My mind wondered around the four corners of my room, thinking of a good reason why I'm currently typing what I'm doing and feeling. Probably because I kept on running away from everything. I kept on burying them to the deepest part of myself, not wanting to indulge at the painful emotions that this heartbreak brings.

Damn... I wonder how they do that... I wonder how they move forward after an emotional blow... Did they swallow all the pain they felt? Or left them behind to build a much better version of themselves?

Now I'm starting to wonder... How did he move on? Did he bury everything we ever had? Did he left everything behind as well?

The frustrations clouded the rationality that I'm trying to keep, making my head ache even more. I felt dizzy and caged at the same time as the tears I was trying to stop from falling were eventually locked.

Locked...

Locked at the deepest part of my soul.

Now I feel lost and numb.

I couldn't let my tears out anymore.

I...

Despite this mindless situation.

I just want to ask...

Did you really love me?

Or did you just pity my broken pieces and tried taking care of me?

ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ