When something happens to us that we have difficulty overcoming, when we lose a loved one, for example, when a relationship ends, when we are cheated on, when we are disappointed by someone we trust, those around us say a lot to support us and make us feel better. One of them said, “Everything will get better in time. Time is the cure for everything”. Is it really so? Is time really the cure for all problems?
The role of time on the way to recovery is undeniably important. It has always been one of our most important needs to overcome the events that shook us deeply. Because time does not cure that event, but it helps the event to cool down. It plays an important role in alleviating that heavy load on us. First of all, it gives us the opportunity to evaluate what happened to us more realistically and more independently of our emotions. This is very important. Because the fresher the event and the closer we are to it, the more we are under its influence, and we see it as much bigger, much worse, and inextricable than it is. At this stage, we need time.
Time allows us to look back a few steps. Thus, we can see the event more objectively and evaluate it in this way. Because in this process, our emotions become lighter and we become calmer. This also takes time. We get better with time. However, contrary to popular belief, it is not time itself that heals. Time does not heal. It is what we do in that time that heals.
Healing happens by what we do during that time. In this process, we move forward with the decisions we take, the steps we take, the responsibilities we assume, and the risks we take when necessary, and get on the road to recovery. We are healed when we stop clinging to our pain and mourning. All this happens over time.
We can spend a long time being one with our pain, anger, sadness, fear, doing nothing. We can go through days, weeks, months, even years. But during all this time, nothing changes, we do not get better. Because no matter how much time passes, we are stuck in that first place. It stays there forever, we can't change anything if we don't move forward. We cannot heal because we cannot change.
If we want to heal, we must first of all give ourselves time. Then we have to allow ourselves to take a step and move forward in this time. Only in this way can we go on with our lives. We can begin to move forward and heal ourselves by forgiving ourselves.