Reason why I will not continue my college

Being a Licensed Civil Engineer was my dream because I love solving using formulas. I'm currently in my first year in college and right now we have an academic break because the 1st semester just ended.

The 2nd semester will start on February 02, 2022 and the enrollment for 2nd semester is on January 21. The sad part here is that I cannot enroll anymore because of family issues. Its not about financial because there's a deeper reason why I will not continue my studies anymore. I just finished the 1st semester and pass the activities that I need to pass.

Here's the story behind it. January 01, 2022 around 2pm, I decided to go outside to visit my friends and also to my boyfriend and his relatives to greet them a Happy New Year. Anyway, there place is just near like I just need to ride a tricycle to go there. And then, few hours later someone is calling me and its just around 5pm. The caller was shouting at me and she was saying very harsh words on me like, "I will never regret losing a child." The caller was my mom. I was shock because I just went outside for few hours and I'm actually about to go home when she calls me but because of what she said I decided to not to go home by that time only because I went home around 8pm. I just calm myself before I went home because I feel bad on what she said on me.

Its fine if she was worried. That's acceptable but saying hurtful stuff like that it's not acceptable because all I did is going outside.

And actually, before I went outside I said to the people in the house that, "I will just go outside." I didn't hear any questions from them that time so I expect that its clear to them that I went somewhere.

Anyway, after I went back to home around 8pm, my mom calls us and she was shouting at me. She told me to leave the house and don't bring anything and that time I want to tell her that, "How come I can't bring anything? Well, in fact I'm the one who bought my things even my underwear?" That's actually true because when I need or want something, I will look for a way on how I can buy it like saving or looking for an extra source of income. And then, she said something and I told her that, "I'm always following you. I'm always doing the things you want me to do. This is the only day that I went outside because I'm always in the house. Why can't you let me enjoy just for a day? Just for this day?" I'm a human too. I need a break. A rest. I also need to enjoy.

Its sad because I can't continue my studies because she told me that she will not pay my tuition anymore. I'm sad not because she's angry but the fact that I cannot continue my studies anymore because of what happened. Its hard because I'm not the one who ask her to born me. I didn't ask for it, they are the one who make the deed and born me. I'm thankful for the things that they gave like the basic needs but its their obligation because she's a parent. I'm thankful but it doesn't mean that I have a debt that I need to pay.

After that I calm myself and few days after I reach out on her and apologize because I get angry at same time when she's angry. I message her and explain my side but she just read my messages and I actually message her about my upcoming enrollment this January 21 but she just read my message again.

And another thing, if she's worried, she can talk to me nicely or calmly and she doesn't have to shout or say harsh things on me. I want her to realize that not because you're a parent, you already have the rights to say something bad or harsh. Not because you're a parent, you're always right. Sometimes you have to accept that your child is growing and getting old too. They will never learn the reality of life if they will just stay at home. The reality is outside of the house where people are dying, working, facing challenges and success. We will learn the true things about life in our experience outside of the house. Let your child explore and learn. You are a parent. You are there to guide them, not to command and manipulate every decision that they will about to make.

And always remember what Elon Musk said, "My children didn't choose to be born. I chose to have children. They owe nothing. I owe them everything."