【ＤＯＮ 'Ｔｘ(•∩•)ｘ ＷＡＴＣＨ】: Boku no Pico

Series in one sentence:
Enjoy jail time, all who watched this.

Series in more sentences:
Follow the degenerate adventures of an unsupervised child with an unhealthy fascination for adult activities. I want to die.

Series in one selective, crusty image:

This should not be allowed to exist. I beg of you not to look this one up for yourselves, this is an instant ticket to Hell. I've cursed my soul so I can give you this warning, masked as a review.

A bit of context first: Boku no Pico was a meme back in the day. Its name and some of the more unsuspicious screenshots were often shared online, and a "funny prank" used to be to suggest this anime to newcomers who'd ask for a list of recommendations.
It's dubbed the most deprived anime in existence; a title that would make anyone curious. Especially someone who reviews anime as a hobby.

Before going off to watch this thing, I was optimistic. After all, people on the internet like to overreact and manga/anime is capable of producing the weirdest storylines and characters.
Perhaps I was hoping the main character not to really be 10 years old. Perhaps I was hoping it not to be actual porn. Something that would make me say "Well, it's drenched in sin, but at least this particular thing didn't happen".

But of course, Boku no Pico had to "exceed" my hopes and expectations.

So. There are three episodes. Three episodes I couldn't and wouldn't sit through in full if you paid me. At the beginning of each one, a piece of text appears on screen, that boldly explains that the creators don't support child porn and that the series is meant to be artistic.
And you know what. That's the same out-of-jail-free-card nonsense Deviantart fangirls have used against me for years..!

"These aren't even real kids, ananas, they're cartoon characters!" they'd tell me, "I just like seeing them together like this, it's cute! Are you HOMOPHOBIC, ananas? Don't like? DON'T WATCH!"

How dare you. What's the artistic value in a grown man jumping a little boy in a car, what's the artistic value in three children circle-jerking it! Don't like, don't watch? How about you don't draw it in the first place!
How can a person with warped morality sit there and tell me I'm the villain!

The character Pico is the biggest, enraging piece of worthless dung I've ever had the misfortune of being exposed to, with his stupid lame smirk at the end of every forking episode, as if he's a cute and quirky character closing off a Looney Tunes episode. I hope you fall off that bridge and explode, you disgusting tiny twat.
Where are his parents? Why is he in a relationship with this pedofile man in the first episode, but afterwards he hangs out and corrupts some other kid?
And then there's that last episode.. otherworldly how stupid it was. Just an introduction to a character that looks, talks, acts, and dresses like a girl, but is just a boy, big surprise, fetish fuel, it's Japan, fork it, business as usual!
Pico should be slapped across the face, get a buzz cut, and sent off to boot camp for the rest of his life.

The "super kawaii" intro songs to these episodes are an even bigger joke. Truly the cherry on top of it all.

Animation takes a long time and it baffles me that none of these animators thought to stop after a week and say to their colleagues "My dudes, what're we doing with our time, how about we go home?".
It takes a tremendously foul person to animate three full episodes starring a child with obvious mental issues of a genre law establishments obviously want to erase from the "entertainment" industry, but aren't yet sure how to pass judgement on. 

Damn me and damn this. Don't watch, never watch, you'll come out a worse person.