The art of surfing with emotions

Emotions come and go like waves. Think of an ocean; sometimes the waves are small, sometimes they are big. No matter what we do, the waves keep coming. If you are in the sea and close to the shore, the best and most fun thing to do is to play with the waves. Otherwise you can get buried under the waves, it can be a painful and frightening experience to be unable to do anything in the face of the power of the waves. Emotions are just like that. And just like the waves, you can manage your emotions. We have compiled the subtleties of the art of surfing with emotions for you...

"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf them." Jon Kabat-Zinn

You can't go out in the ocean and fight five-meter waves without knowing the basics of wave surfing. You need to start by getting advice from experienced surfers or instructors and learn the basics. But for some reason, when it comes to emotions, we act as if we are born knowing how to deal with them. But managing emotions is a skill like any other and you need to know the basics first.

Once you know the basics, it's time to get into the water. Start by wading at the point where the waves break and spend perhaps hours here to get into the spirit of the waves. Discover their size, speed and how they come. You need to get close to them to know how to respond.

The same goes for emotions. Once you understand their basis, you need to put your foot in the water, watch how they come and go, recognize and name the different feelings they create. Most people only know how to say good or bad. But if you get a little closer to your emotions, you can describe them as happy, sad, angry. But this is not enough to surf your emotions. The more consistently you describe them, the easier it is to surf them.

Waves don't magically happen by themselves. Many weather phenomena are the result of a combination of air currents, wind and atmospheric pressure. Knowing the weather where you surf is key to avoid accidents and to surf in harmony with the waves. In this respect, emotions and waves are very similar. Emotions do not come out of nothing; they have a source.

There is a reason why each emotion arises. To understand that emotion, we need to understand where it comes from. It may be easy to guess the source of some emotions, but sometimes we cannot understand where the emotion comes from or what triggers it. At such times we need to play detective and question everything. What were you thinking when that emotion arose? What has happened in your life recently?

You can't choose the waves in the ocean, they come whether you want them to or not. Fighting the waves or trying to stop them is a futile endeavor. Instead, you can spend your time learning to surf with them. Sometimes you may also feel that some of your emotions are too much and you want them to go away as soon as possible. But the more you fight them, the stronger they become. The only way to get along with them is to accept them and let them come and go.

When you master surfing the waves in the ocean, you can use the waves to get from one place to another or to perform various artistic figures. If you do this really well, you can also learn to make a wave do what you want it to do. Emotions are also there to guide you through life. Emotions are what give you what you need to deal with any situation.

Anger gives you energy and motivation to do things properly. Fear keeps you awake so that you are always prepared. Pride gives you confidence. These emotions are actually gifts, as long as you know how to use them to your advantage.

And remember that learning something doesn't happen overnight, it takes time, patience, practice and attention. Learning to surf with your emotions also requires effort.