I am not a good role model to my daughter

Blog 88-17th
Date :May 23,2022
Time :4:38pm

After watching Toni Talks with Toni Fowler. I can somehow relate to Toni Fowler. I am not really a good role model for my daughter.

Well to all who was been following me here, you all know that I was a single mom for 13 years before I got married. Those thirteen years were quietly a mess. I've been into different kinds of relationships. I remember when my daughter was still 3 years old she told me, she wanted to kill all the men on earth. She said that because she sees me having different boyfriends from time to time. My fault though.Just like what Toni Fowler, how she felt so sorry for her daughter because of having a lot of Daddy daddy, it happens to my daughter also. There was one time when my ex -Danish Fiance and I broke up, I told my daughter that I had already broken up with her Daddy Thomas, and she said, Ma'okay ra man ko bisag walay daddy gud. Okay ra man ta. (She's okay without a daddy and we are okay.)Honestly, she's right. My relationship with Thomas is not healthy anymore so I ended up even if we already had the plan to get married.

However, I still got engaged again to my ex-American boyfriend. Our relationship didn't work well too. He is the one who broke up with me. I was actually happy when the time he broke up with me because he is causing so much stress on me already but at the same, I am worried, worried because I quit my job because of that man. So I was worried about how I will provide for the needs of my daughter but of course, God never left me as he continue to help me in other ways. I am really thankful God is always there no matter how many mistakes I made in my life. To be honest, I am not a religious person and I seldom go to church but believe me I have already witnessed God's miracle and unending love and support. I always believe in the power of prayers.

I always believe that we meet people for a reason and I was so thankful that God gave me the chance to meet someone online, His name is Matt. He was my ex-boyfriend from South Carolina, Matt introduce me to God or should I say, he is the reason why I am closer to God. He is one of the reasons why I always overcome every struggle that I've been through in my life. He introduces me to God. He introduces me to Worships songs. Whenever I feel down or I am sad I listen to the worship songs from Casting Crowns and other singers. It somehow made me feel relaxed and feel okay.

Ending thoughts

I may not be a good role model to my daughter but I tried my best to raise her as a good person. I don't want her to follow in my footsteps. I want her to make her own. I don't want other people to compare us because we all know that every person has her own destiny in life. I want her to grow up with so much respect for herself. As I didn't have that before.

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