Things getting more worst

I'm not at home, I'm at my varsity. In our country, you have to get admission in the universities where there is a chance. Besides, if you get admitted in a private university, it may cost you up to 1000$ per month. I'm in really bad mood right now because I came to varsity from house in January and haven't been home since. You can say I always have to struggles a lot when I'm out of the house.

Today my teacher insults me a lot. Ma'am told me, "You don't deserve to study, you better quit."

For the first time in my life, I felt that maybe I should finally do the work that I hate the most. I think my life will be ruined by suicide. Because there is a stage in my life that if you had, you would have committed suicide so long. I have a problem that wasn't congenital but that happened accidentally. That problem affects one in a million people. In order to protect my self-esteem, I may not mention the problem. What would you do if you told me this?

I am very weak. I can't face any challenge. I need self-confidence to face any challenge but I don't have that confidence. Today meme said you have no basic knowledge. You need to awaken the beast inside of.But to be honest, I never thought my brain condition would get so bad. I got weaker and weaker. Maybe one day I will die with this weak attitude of mine. If anything, this is just a mirage in our life. The things that will go with us after our death are our deeds. God will give us paradise for the good deeds we have done in this world

Secondly, my body is very weak. I have been very weak since childhood. I didn't eat much since I was a child, if I went to play, my stamina would end. And now the situation is even more terrible. Because as you get older, your stamina will decrease and your body skills will gradually decrease. This is a human natural matter. You know you can't stay away from these things. Currently my condition is much worse. There is no mental strength, no physical strength with which I can do something good in the future.

On the other hand, my parents are looking for a girl for me. She'll have to marry me for a while and tidy up my life for her. To be honest, it's very difficult. To represent a human being one needs to maintain his mental strength. But where do I get that power stream? As the days go by my mental state is getting worse. Maybe this time I will be most afraid of myself. My only fault is that my death is in the way of Allah.

I'm not an introvert. But I have had to be introverted to the people of society. Everyone loves me and hates me a lot. I have nothing to do with it because I can no longer control people. Honestly, I am trying to ignore everything that is happening in my life because when you die at the end of the day, you will see that no one will be by your side, only the contents of your good work.

There was a lot to learn from today's experience. Why everything seems so bad. When I was younger I could barely avoid everything. But now that I'm getting older, more and more problems are coming up. My parents have high hopes for me so that I can do great things in life. Honestly, when I realized my own brain relationship, I realized that I was actually born into this world only to fill the gap of weakness people.

I wrote today's article with passion.I am not doing well in any semester exam. But on the other hand, I've been trying to read and test all night. I mean, you know, everything is going to be ruined. Let's see what the future holds for me but I can't give up. Because that person rate means that person does not belong to any human being.