A friend

I am a very jolly,talkative person and don't like dull moments. I always make fun of people but I make it sure that they will laugh too and not get offended. I also know how to get along and not kill joy but I make it sure also that it will not repel to my beliefs . I remember when I had my first phone, every time I save others phone number it always start to a friend, close friend, and tol (exclusive to my circle of friends for almost 3 decades).

Even in real life of course, there's a friend, close friends or just an acquaintance. I never called someone a friend that who's not really a friend. It sounds like I have a high qualifications before you become my friend, but nah! I'm a friendly virtually and even in person. In my circle of friends (tropa), me and my best friend who's living now in UK are the most friendly. Well, we have the same character except choosing or taste in guys. Whether I'm with my tropa, close friends or friends, expect that no dull moments with me.

I'm the kind of friend who will check you if you're ok, will support you, will help you if you needed, you can count on and lean on. But of course, all of us have our own life. They said that friends come and go, they change their interest so they change their friends too. But I'm not. I always understand if some of my friends needs space, I even understand if they need a distance including me. I never show how painful it is, because I don't want them to feel guilty, they need my support and understanding as a friend.

Of course if they have their own life, I have too. I focus on my goal, to be a boss babe (chubby 😂🔨). I became busy on my online selling business, I talk to alot of people and I almost no time for my friends. But I always keep reminding them that if they need me, just tell me and I'll leave what I am doing because they're more important to me. That's how smooth my relationship to all my friends. Until one day...

I met a friend in a place where I bring my parcel to send to my customers. At first, were just smile to each other and greeted me because I'm one of their loyal customers too. When I had a rush order, I have to contact that person to ask if they're still operate even it's all saints day eve. We add each other on Facebook and started to talk. It's just started from asking questions, hi and hello, greet each other and boom! We became coco crunch 😂! I mean friends.

I am 7 years older than him so he started to call me Ate ( big sis),But he looks older than me 😂. He's thoughtful, sweet and funny. No dull moments when I am talking (chat) with him, it's either he's the one who make fun of me or im the one who make fun of him. We started to share some secrets, giving each others advice and support. He even gave me a birthday surprised in a restaurant which is my first time to experience.

Oh well, I met all his girlfriends, and all his girlfriend knows me too, they even add me on my super duper private Facebook. Yes, he's a playboy one and it's easily for him to get a girlfriend because he's really goodlooking. But my best friend warn me to be careful to him, coz she don't want me to be taking advantage of others. I tried to make them friends virtually but it doesn't work, it ends blocking each other 😂.

Every time he got a girlfriend, he always saying bad things to the girl. And every time his co workers trying to make friends with me, he say bad things about them too. So me as a friend and big sis, Im always on his side and keep sending him messages that will motivate him. When I am not online coz I want to take a break for a few hours he will text and ask why I'm not online, i should be online because he's broken hearted and he needs me. When he have no time to buy some gift for his girlfriend , I'm the one who go to the mall and buy for him. And I'm happy doing it because I buy myself too 😂 and make him pay for it.

Sounds I have a great friendship with him, nah!, All his girlfriend keep asking me why he treat them bad, why he never post them on Facebook . The only girl that he posted on his Facebook is me, but of course they didn't get jealous of me because they know that I'm just a best friend and big sis to him. Sometimes I caught him telling a lie to me just to get my sympathy. I even caught him lying coz his girlfriend tells me her version. He's always the victim, he's always the great in his story. I'm the only person that he never backstab or make a bad story and spread to others (according to his girlfriends, co workers and guy best friend). But I'm not exempted to his bad mouthing when he get mad or sulk.

He told me and always make me feel that I am a toxic friend that always needy. That I always act like a girl friend that always need his time and message me every day. He makes me feel that I will never met someone like him that always there for me when I need someone to talk with. And he's the only great guy best friend that I will ever meet. The funny thing is, I believed on that and it's stuck on my head. I tried many times to leave him but I always try to understand and giving him a second chance every time he apologized. On my mind, if I stay maybe he will change. But never happened, even his first love back to him, he didn't change. He even talking bad behind his first love back, and the worst is, even his girlfriend have the same attitude of him. They backstabbing each other and both of them drain and degrade me. And I didn't know why I can't exit on this kind of relationship, and I don't know why he can manipulate me. All his x girlfriends advice to leave him, my mind say yes but my actions doesn't cooperate.

I cried to God that give me strength to face this, but what He give was a friend that will help me to leave them. I blocked him and his girlfriend, I deactivated my Facebook account and didn't hold my cellphone for a few months. And even he messaged on Instagram because he got mad when I call him Narcissistic I didn't respond because if I did, he will just manipulate me and unhealthy friendship will continue.

I thought every thing will be OK after I survived on that kind of friendship. But I was wrong, it's like a nightmare that visiting me on my dreams. I even change in terms of friendship. I always thought that I'm a toxic person , that I always bothering people. If people change , i think right away that they tired of me already and wants to replace me . And I didn't realize that my attitude became toxic because of that kind of mentality. I forgot what kind of friend I am before. I let that experience ruined my character as a friend. And because of my bad actions, it brings me pain more and emptiness.

But God is so great, he always use people to remind me that I am loved and I have more time to bring back the old me and cute me 😂. There's no such thing true friends come and go, nah! Maybe they just need space, busy or have their own priority but they're just there , All you have to do is to wait. All of us have a toxic character but true friends will understand and will help you to change not will leave you. And as a friend, you should be happy for your friend even you're not a part of it. What will you do? make things that will make you happy too even they're not part of it, but make it sure that you're always there when they come back.

A true friend is also a gift from God. Let me leave you this..

A sweet friendship refreshes the soul. Proverbs 27:9

As iron sharpens irons, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17.

Have you said I love you to your true friend today? Volim Te ❤️