The World's Most Expensive Presents audit

I haven't even pondered, not to mention done, my Christmas shopping yet. Maybe I'll get a few thoughts from The World's Most Expensive Presents (Channel 4). Indeed, it has been a sensibly decent year. I've drifted two or three little interests, moved some stuff seaward, I will not delve into subtleties … know what I mean?

Thus, could a grown-up shading book (as in for grown-ups, not DIY erotic entertainment) with 10 tailor made delineations by an eminent craftsman and a calfskin cover with gold lettering. That is £23,900, VAT notwithstanding; shading pencils not. However, it goes far past a shading book, says Marcel, the man whose thought it was. "It's a woven artwork of feelings, it's a large number of recollections after memory. It's a treasure."

How he can say it's a treasure when it hasn't even been possessed by anybody yet? Also, it's plainly not a woven artwork. They really do jabber of guff, these individuals. Marcel has likewise fostered a shoe with secret compartments for smaller than expected cell phones and penknives. However, they're only two thousand a couple … best of luck at air terminal security.

Telephones, tablets, roses, stogies, vehicles … anything. Utilizing power and his exceptional sorcery arrangement, Laban will plate them in gold. He's a real 21st-century chemist. He would likely do your privates on the off chance that you paid him enough. (I'm pondering the parents in law; notwithstanding Christmas then maybe for the brilliant wedding commemoration.)

At this moment, he has a gold bike - yours for £250,000.

In any case, is it however, Laban? Workmanship? Or then again commonsense for an egg run?

In Essex, Elliot, who represents considerable authority in extravagance games, is making a poker set that arrives for a situation made from dead crocodiles and whose chips are canvassed in stingray skin. That one's £60,000, yet Elliot won't say who it's for - I'm thinking Paul Hogan, maybe.

In Brighton, a lady called Rachel has endured 900 hours utilizing six meters of silk and 40,000 gems to make a ballgown for a canine. Forty thousand for that. Furthermore, elsewhere, Debbie says: "I'm somewhat known for making a stage to give something in a palatable development."

Anything that could you at any point mean, Debbie? Goodness, I see (kind of). She makes cakes looking like things - most loved totes, shoes, coaches, cash and so forth … It's craft, she says. You can make something into workmanship just by turning it gold, putting precious stones on it or making a cake seem to be something different; I keep thinking about whether our specialty pundit Jonathan Jones would concur.

Workmanship or not, it's not just silly and shameless, it's all truly horrendous. There's not anything here I would need to be given so I will not be giving any of it to any other person. I'll be Christmas shopping at Argos this year, to no one's surprise.

What will Giles Coren's better half think about his film Passions: I Hate Jane Austen (Sky Arts)? He makes sense of for the Jane Austen Society of Pakistan how he and Mrs C wound up together: "I just had heaps of sweethearts and afterward in the end [looks at watch], I was getting on a little … would you like to wed me, definitely okay, and we'll have a youngster … "

The fact he's making is a decent one: the situation were different quite a while back. Yet, it very well may be a piece brutal for Mrs C to gain from the television that she wasn't such a lot of the One .

In any case, this is the one who fat-disgraced his own child on paper; it's not really shocking he's ready to un-One his better half on the TV. Were there endlessly heaps of sweethearts, Giles?

The most terrible thing about this program for me was that I wound up concurring with him. I disdain Jane Austen, as well, for the very same explanation Giles does: her insignificant worries, absence of current pertinence, restricted perspective, the reality they're no different either way … and presently I disdain myself, for concurring with Giles, who I disdain, as well, clearly.

At any rate, Giles goes to see a great deal of smart individuals who make sense of that he is very off-base. What's more, why: the specialty, the exchange, the jokes, the comprehension of being human, the job Austen played in the improvement of the novel, etc.