Game play, life
at the end of the road,
coloring fair.
I read it as a child. I understand now. I mean very tough. I lack the knowledge to explain to someone. But the difficulty is elsewhere. Although there is a lack of knowledge, there is no lack of my perception. So after so many years, the realization of so much suffering and pain is hurting me terribly. Many people want to say sorry but can't. Having lived in the society for a long time, I have become a rare part of that so-called society. That part prevents me from saying sorry. Family responsibility as a social creature is also a strong factor. In the midst of all this, I see that old wild nature giving me the courage to do something deadly again. But I know, in fact, I do not know what to do. Because I had to learn to be an accountant with a lot of effort. So I am very sorry to apologize for the pain that I have given to him unknowingly.
Girl
I think you are a little girl. No, not out of love. Moffsball's open family bond reform only allowed me to have sincere loyalty to my wife / family. And I cherish it in my heart. I only think of you when you feel the pain of the unexplained hardships of your adolescence. On one of my teenage birthdays, you stuck a small teddy bear in the sleeve of my left hand shirt. On that little teddy bear's shirt was written in even smaller, the longing of your soul. I know you had to prepare for a long time to do this. I am not the one who will dare to pray in front of me.
I like to live as well as to be afraid. You overcame that fear, so I couldn't help but stand on the steps of your house and give me your gift. But at that moment I saw something in your eyes. Girl, I'm terrified. More social. It was not possible for me to make you or your family small. You know the reason, don't you?
So I became more cautious from that moment on. You were small but not so small. That was the age to make mistakes. I didn't want you to make a mistake. So I carefully removed myself from you. From your family. Ever since then I have tried to talk to you in a few words. There was less talk face to face. Most of the time on the phone. He doesn't care how many times you ask me to come to your house. It's not that I've never had a second thought. To be honest, he came many times. But I am a social creature. Didn't indulge. I always understood your longing inside me but did not let anyone else understand. . Certainly not you.
You may not remember the account of how many nights you went through the impossible. All your close friends knew about your one-sided love. That's why even after so many years, a close friend of yours, after getting acquainted with me on a certain occasion, looked at me with amazement and asked, "You are that brother." I am not very raw in acting. I got up from that meeting with skillful acting. The language in your friend's eyes reminded me of your troubled days.
But you didn't try to tell me anything directly. Or maybe I didn't understand because I kept trying to keep myself wrapped up. Gradually I became involved in the battle of life. I fell in love with an unequal love. Assam in the sense that there was no equality between me and his social and economic environment. So many kinds of adversity are created. All adversity was removed and we were finally able to shape our relationship. The wise say, "Never marry the one you love, marry the one who loves you." The Gunejans have said very nice things and left a puzzle with them. Hold on, I love you, so you shouldn't marry me. Again, since you love me unconditionally, I should marry you. We fell into this puzzle. Me and my wife.
You came to one of my domestic (marriage related) events before the wedding ceremony. Honestly, I didn't want you to come. But you came. I don't know how you felt at that time. But I still haven't forgotten the look in your eyes full of pain. Is it possible to forget?
Girl, you're too big now. But I didn't tell you anything big. What I have said for so long is that little you. I am very clear to myself. Standing in front of the mirror and questioning his reflection, he never felt guilty. Even then, the small troubles of yours are as big as your own. Maybe you were fascinated by some unknown use of my teenage years. That age was to be fascinated. I was also Uranchandi. I have noticed why girls prefer uranchandi boys. In fact, you are very emotional. You may give yourself a consolation because of emotion, or maybe no one but me can do good to this naughty boy. This boy has no hope except me. I probably understand this boy best.
Is that really so? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe how many passionate little girls like you have dragged so many big Uranchandi by the ears into the social boundaries. In most cases, girls have a lot of success in this regard. Almost touches the sky. But does anyone ever think, “I fell in love with that boy because of his extravagant nature. If he has to be brought within the boundaries, then why didn't I like someone bound within the boundaries. How did I gradually transform my love for that independence into a very ordinary form? How can I be ashamed to see a boy in a dirty jeans shirt and pants that looks so good to me now? The boy I was suddenly fascinated with all the weird things, now how can I inspire him only with impossibly serious and weighty work? Where is my crazy crazy love? ”Alas, foolish boy, You have been a wonderful person for so long. Today you are just human. Kenre crazy, you can not hold the madness?
These are so many questions but not to you. Just a pain in the ass. Also in a very limited form. I am a man of boundaries now. I can't see or think everything as big as before. And I can't do all the weird things. I still wish - "While riding in a rickshaw, on the guitar in the hand of a friend, I suddenly feel mad and dance like crazy at the traffic signal at the corner of the science laboratory. I still want it." But how many obstacles to meet. How much social, family, surroundings.
You are also an ordinary woman now. Two common quarrels. Yet maybe on a lonely lonely night I remembered my words for no reason. Tuk laughed. I thought, "Wasn't I stupid?" Even then, maybe in some unknown place in the chest where your little mind is very carefully hiding my adolescence, you play a small push. Maybe a little bit of pain. Maybe a sigh without knowing it. Girl, after many years I apologize for your sigh of pain. Be nice to you.

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