It took me a while to realize that the world isn't that different from the books I read and from the movies I watch. There will always be the main characters while there are also just extras. Me? Maybe just one of those extras. I am just someone who live life the way I was taught to live it. I do laundry, wash dishes, cook meals and sometimes a little walk down at the park. I never had the time and courage to try other things on my own accord, fearing that I won't be able to make them work and I may just look stupid for trying. Over time, I finally accepted the fact that there are just things that are not meant for me.
I can't lie to myself though. I envy those who were given the chance to be the protagonist. It must be wonderful to live in a world that feels like it's made especially for them. I, too, wanted to know how it feels like to be loved, to be important, and to be saved by someone who treasures me when an accident is bound to happen.
But I guess there's no point complaining. Maybe I'm just somebody who has no story to tell.
Maybe life isn't difficult. I mean, yes, it's December and you haven't reached your goals yet that's why it feels like you're breathing heavily and having disruptive panic attacks. But I know life isn't difficult. It's just December. December seems difficult. Life isn't.
Lesson learned. “If you doubt the power of your voice, just look at what they do to try to silence you.”
Our own dysfunctional family was built on the lies they told us as children and is a very fragile world that will collapse sooner or later once one person speaks up once adult survivors of child rape find his or her voice and speak up, it always starts with just one and will have the domino affect like the Me Too movement.
Lesson learned. “You may feel foolish crying over events that happened so long ago. But grief waits for expression. When you do not allow yourself to grieve, it festers. It can limit your vitality, make you sick, will decrease your capacity for love...Grief needs space. You can only really grieve when you give yourself the time, security and permission to grieve.”
As I look back on this life-changing journey I wish that my life would have turned out differently, but unfortunately for that to happen, I needed a different childhood to the one I actually lived and survived as that child.
We need to remember that adult survivors, who have finally found the courage to speak up, don’t lie about their painful childhood.
Many live in exile and are shunned by their own family for speaking up, treated as crazy by an ignorant society of people who live in denial.
Yes, at times I wish that I were crazy, so as I wouldn’t have to feel the pain a victim of child rape endured, and as the adult observer, have had to relive it all, I see myself pregnant at age nine, cry the tears of a child mother heart breaking when she was discarded in a swallow grave and left there for dead.
The remaining members of this incest family and their friends who follow them live in denial, as if those past atrocities committed by them against innocent children never happened, and for them to live life in denial I must be crazy.
Adult survivors are not crazy and they don’t need validation, what they do need is to be treated with respect and helped to regain their value and worth in society.
We all need to learn to respect other people’s choices, regardless if we agree, respect other people's choices, as we would like others to respect ours.
There is something admirable - about empathetic people, sensitive souls🌷🍂🌺
Sensitivity is a trait, it's a gift and there is a beauty in this🍁🍂
Feeling things intensely
Being in harmony with the world
Showing kindness to people🪔🌺
Having a heart so big - that has the strength to love and forgive with the same intensity💖🌷
Having the power to feel the ache from deepest part of their spirit
Feeling the pain, when the world is in pain and be in tears when someone else cry their heart out🦋🍁
Possessing the power to give selflessly and an energy to live the life fully
Regardless of being hurt - they are understanding, they are empathetic, they show care, they hold on to compassion🌺🌷🧡
They have the power to hear unsaid words and an ability to show warmth through their gentle touch
They are insightful
They are intuitive
They are the one, always there for you - wholeheartedly
They went through the deepest pain, yet - never be over to love again💔🥀💝
They look as pretty as an artist's illustration🌷🌸🌺
They are powerful
They are life changing
They are strong
The world needs these original souls to balance the scale of despair and pessimism - into dreams,
into ambitions,
into aspiration
because, they are passionate about everything and everyone!🍁🌺🍂
I feel I am a compassionate soul in this sensitive world🪔🦋
If you feel like you cannot possibly heal from whatever it is that is weighing on your mind or your heart right now — remember all of the times you have found yourself here, and remember all of the ways in which you survived. Remember all of the ways you stretched into your growth, even when it was uncomfortable, and even when it didn’t feel like it was happening.
What they were saying was right ,"Growing up hurts,kid!"
While growing you come across certain bitter realisations.You start to compromise on all your dreams ,ones you have been pondering whole of your life, and ultimately adopt a fearful attitude of not dreaming anymore. You accept your imperfections,get used to it ,and give up thought to change it .You get eased to never lasting uneasiness you have.
Growing up is disappointing the people you love ,while not meeting their expectations.Growing up is being adopting to enduring disappointments from the people you love.You become accustomed to being haunted by thoughts of regret.You begin to appease all your emotions and adopt pragmatic ways of life.
Growing up is real pain .It hurts actually .
Lesson learned. “It’s not your job to like me, its mine.”
There are always going to be those who don't like who you are, or agree with what you stand up for, but it’s mostly because your strength reminds them of their own weakness.
I am aware and do understand that what I write and share here about my own story of survival can be confronting for others, and for many when reading such painful truth at times will trigger their own fearful past.
On this life-changing journey we need to allow ourselves to feel the discomfort of whatever returns in our life, because the pain, tears, and grief will help us to wake up from our slumber sleep.
- Your family doesn't know how much difficulties and pressure you go through in your daily life or in your job.
- And your work doesn't know the circumstances of your life and your home.
- Your colleagues, your friends, and loved ones will not understand the size of the new and old responsibilities that are above you.
- And your partner is always expecting unconditional love and support from you, he wont underatand the amount of pressure you go through no matter how much you talk and explain to him.
No one will understand what you're really going through and they most likely don't appreciate efforts.
Lesson learned. “You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to the things you don’t want to feel.” Johnny Depp.
Every day is a new day, each day brings good, bad, and even ugly, and I know when there is something on its way when tears fall from my eyes without my permission to cry.
I am awake and aware when tears return because I’ve felt this feelings before, and as I cry all I can do is wipe away the tears from my face that blind my sight as I try to write how I feel today, because I remember all my yesterdays.
It grief for all that was and never will be again that bring tears, the pain that is felt has a silent voice of its own that bring more tears even to the eyes of those who feel the pain others are feeling, tears, pain, grief and sorrow have a universal language in our shared humanity.
This is cheating.
If you're texting another person that your significant other would not be comfortable with, that is considered cheating.
If you erase your browsing history on your phone because you don't want your spouse to see what you have been looking at ...that is considered cheating.
If you start to entertain another person that isn't your significant other, that is considered cheating.
If you start adding random individuals on social media because you thought they looked attractive in their profile picture, that is considered cheating.
If you flirt with someone else other than the person you're in a relationship with, that is considered cheating.
If you're in a relationship right now and you have unfortunately experienced these types of patterns.... it will only progress in a down hill slope in the near future.
Take my advice and remember.... you can't build a kingdom with someone that still craves attention from the village.
THE QUERENT'S CRY
What if I'm wrong?
"What if you're right?"
What if I fall?
"What if you fly?"
What if I fail?
"What if you succeed?"
What if I can't?
"Let go of the need"
What if I hurt?
"Hurt leads to growth"
What if I sink?
"Just stay in your boat"
What if I'm nothing?
"Maybe you are,
But find that something
And shine like a star"
What if life
Is just a game?
"Then the truth
Remains the same"
What if I never
Find my way?
"You are already found.
Don't drift astray"
What if God
Forgot my name?
"What if your names
Are one the same?"
What if this life
Is just a dream?
"Then float, my love,
On that beautiful stream."
Lesson learned. "
Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones" is a proverb used in several European countries. It means that: "One who is vulnerable to criticism regarding a certain issue should not criticize others about the same issue."
Those who continue to criticise you can’t handle knowing the truth and are mostly people who want you to be different, because they see in you that which they will never be.
Relationships are harder now because conversation became phone calls, feeling became subliminal messages, the word 'LOVE' is used out of context, insecurities became a way of thinking, getting jealous became a habit, trust is hard to come by, being hurt became natural and leaving became the only option.
Sad but true, so if you have something that's worth it, don't take it for granted, fight for it and don't let it go. 🤎
Bees don't fly at night because they might get lost in the dark.
It's harder for them to avoid obstacles and they need warmth to fly.
So what they do instead,
is that they sleep in a flower and wait for the next morning.
And I hope you too,
will be able to do that.
Rest first.
Avoid unnecessary risk.
Prioritise your well-being.
Sleep in a flower.
The morning will come for you.
Imagine that you found someone who is genuinely interested to hear your rant in this so-called lost phase of our life. Someone that lift you up whenever you feel down becuase of those failures. Someone that is being one call away and always there celebrating your little success when you know how to solve the hard formula in math becuase he knows you were struggling to that subject. Someone that accepts your flaws, and sometimes he know you weren't in a mood to be look good becuase of those tambak na school works and responsibilities in house but he still manage to says “ang ganda mo naman ma-stress”.
Those little things is really touches your soul, and I love that, I love you.
Does unkindness represent disappointment from self?
Unkind are the ones who are unable to handle their emotions. When they go through a tough time or are hurt, they blame others to satisfy their ego.
Sometimes we come across people who are unkind and inconsiderate. They don’t care how their words, actions are behaviour can hurt us. They don’t realise they are so unhappy that all they give to others is pain.
Never let unkind people become a reason for your hurt. Unkind people are themselves wounded; they don’t know how to heal. If you can help them, help them heal with love and patience; if you can’t, learn to ignore them.
You deserve someone who has a plan.
Someone who will reserve schedules to see you, builds dreams with you, and has concrete details on how to grow with you.
Someone who will not just talk about all the romantic adventures, but works hard in improving themselves to let you know that they are being the right one for you.
You deserve that. Someone who plans the future with you and continuously makes a way to show you that they are worthy of being part of it.
Lesson learned.
“Some people are like thorns. But you have to let them be thorns, because thorns can't turn into petals. The trick is not letting them prick you; never let a thorn prick you!”
We need to learn how to cut ties with toxic people, as an act of self-care, toxic people have no boundaries, and for whatever reason, they think that they can walk all over people.
If your life is governed by the changing winds of others, you have no life, respect yourself enough to let go of toxic people and situations that no longer honour your own life-changing journey.
Lesson learned.
“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” Eleanor Roosevelt.
More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them each time they make another mistake.
Lesson learned.
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but in building the new.” Socrates
We are always, as we grow, in the process of choosing who we will become, but only when we are tiered of playing the blame games of he said this, she did that mentality, that’s when all we have left is the truth, if we are brave enough to look within and live in the light.
Care enough to keep going
One attempt gets you started, and a dozen attempts show you're serious. A hundred attempts earn respect and generate momentum, and with a thousand attempts, you're highly likely to create lasting value.
Once is a good start but it's almost never enough. Achievement comes more from persistence than from just about anything else.
You may not know every answer, but you can always keep going. Your strengths and skills can run into limits, but your persistence never has to.
When your first effort fails, the second effort can be quite difficult. Yet as difficult as it may be, still it is possible, and powerful.
When you persist, you keep open the path to success. When you persist, you're able to transform disappointment into progress, misfortune into fulfillment.
Focus on meaningful purpose and persist in bringing it to life. Care enough to keep going, and you'll arrive at some amazing places.
"I've heard that no matter what you're going through, someone has it worse.
I don't like that statement. I've never liked it. It's emotionally dismissive, and it teaches that our personal struggles are insignificant.
So we hide, and refuse to cry out, and we try not to burden others with our pain.
Someone might have it worse, true. But we're all broken, and we're all human, and we're never alone.
“Whether it’s a friendship or relationship, all bonds are built on trust. Without it, you have nothing.”
Those who have a purpose for their own life changing journey also have a passion that drives them to become better people, regardless of their own past history.
Everyone has gone through something in life that has changed him or her forever, but in order for you to heal you need to build healthy boundaries where you once had none as you revisit your childhood memories and learn the painful truth of all that was and never will be again.
Once you understand that it is up to you to change yourself into the person you needed to most as a child, you and I are living proof that things can change.
Life is a journey, and rock bottom become the strong foundation where you start to rebuild your adult life, as you learn from the mistakes of the past how to live a better life today to the one you once endured and survived as children.
Speak positive words into your life every single morning. Think big. Think healing. Think success. Think peace. Think happiness. Think growth mindset. Always start the day with positive energy. You deserve it.
Have a beautiful day!
Nowadays sometimes i thought of changing my ways. Changing the way i think, a change for myself that people will accept me because of the things i changed for them.
But somehow I realize, For what reason i will change myself for them? What’s the purpose of changing myself for them? What will i gain?
Until I realized that i was chained by myself. I locked up myself with the expectation of people will love me if i will change myself for them.
Then finally i realized the thought of loving myself more and more, loving myself unconditionally —that finally i am awake with the reality that the only person who can love you is nothing but yourself.
-It’s okay if people will unfollow you on social media,
-It’s okay if they unfriended you.
-it’s okay if they don’t like you for no reason.
-it’s okay if they don’t want to be with you.
I want you to know that you need to build walls for yourself to protect your inner peace. Build your own boundaries to people who don’t value you as who you are.
You don’t have to explain anything to anyone nor try to prove something to people just for them to like you.
Protect yourself from people who only see you as a material of their interest.
Build a strong relationship to people who will help you find peace in your heart, be with people who will accept you as the way you are, the people who will carry you through ups and down.
Treat them fairly, treat them as a family not just a companion, even if its short term relationship — but always remember, Yourself should be your top priority and always find worth. #Selfworth
It's okay..
You'll be okay.
Maybe not now but one day you will.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing your best already.
Maybe you're feeling so overwhelmed and exhausted. Maybe you feel like giving up everything all at once because you just had enough..
But you're stronger than this.
I believe in you.
Everybody sets standards for their lives
Some people's standards aren't anchored in a solid foundation of Truth and Authenticity
They're determined by
other people,
the company of the hour, or of the day,
or even their current mood
Blown off course easily,
like tumble weeds in winds of change.
When you understand your precious value
in the eyes of God,
If you respect and love yourself,
you will set standards you're not willing to compromise.
They will be set by yourself
By your firm belief system
and by your faith.
They will be determined through own experience,
by what you have taken as lessons Iiving your own life.
If we allow others to set our standards
or accept their standards for our life,
we'll never be fully content, truly fulfilled, happy, at peace and feeling good enough.
It's your life.
Your only life
You have to live it
You choose how,
And you can make it good,
even amazing
You set the standards
and you yourself, are the first to honour it ...
Because when you do, others will too ...
And if you don't, neither will they.
I've realized that my life doesn't always have to be this inspiring and moving. Sometimes, it's just the way it is—that I breathe air, that I exist. It doesn't constantly need to have a meaning to anyone else. I stopped putting too much pressure on my head thinking that others should see me as someone whom they will aspire to be.
Alike you, I also struggle with life; I have my darkest of nights, as well. I make mistakes, and still learning how to correct them. I have fragments of the past that are still haunting me up to this moment. I am not always productive—I also feel lazy, at times. I feel tired, down, and unhappy—I can't consistently have this positive energy. I have my crying sessions, too, with no apparent reasons. I am not everyday on my best state—I tend to feel lost, sometimes, and still figuring out what life has in store for me.
And these are just normal to be felt, I guess; because I am just a human being.
Never regret being a good person, to the wrong people. Your behavior says everything about you, and their behavior says enough about them.
@ZoyaAnsari
