Sleep paralysis or the feeling that you are awake and unable to move any part of the body is normal for me. Sleep paralysis can be caused by a poor sleep schedule, lack of sleep, and stress. I'm so used to the point that I just shrug my shoulders after experiencing non. He just seems to be one of my dreams at night that I often forget when morning comes. All I can say sometimes is "Oh yes, I had sleep paralysis last night". It just seems like that. I was not scared because when I searched Google it was not deadly and usually I did not see anything scary during sleep paralysis. But last night it was different. So this is it. Last Christmas night I didn't even feel it. The same goes for me. There is no difference with the previous Christmas in my whole life. Nothing ready (as in nothing) No Christmas tree and other Christmas decorations. No gifts. I don't have a Christmas because I don't have a godmother here. (We used to be in Manila because when I was about 1 year old we moved here to the Visayas so my godparents are safe at Christmas). What happened was we just slept. That is not new. Our house is small. He is not at home, he is just a hut. It looks like only one room in size. There are small bedrooms on the side. He only has an entrance but there is no door yet. It doesn't matter that there is only a wall blocking that small space which only one person can fit. When you fall asleep there is only one position. When I sleep there, I feel like I'm in the coffin, the only difference is that it has no cover and can move a little.
From that room, if your head is at the entrance, you can see the people in the small living room where we also sleep. We don't have sofa guys, just plastic chairs that when we sleep we put layers on them and put them on the side. So there I slept in that small room with my parents in the living room. There are only three of us because my two brothers (one eldest, the other youngest) went to church. Before I went to sleep, I first scrolled through Facebook. Just envy those who post pictures with family in front of many ready with the caption "Merry Christmas from my family to yours!" Also stories/day of about 500-1k money. Natl. It would be okay if no one was ready or difficult as long as it was a happy case. It would be okay if no one is ready as long as you feel the warmth of the love of your family in case not eh. No more money and not happy yet. I just cried then. After that, I fell asleep. About 11:00 pm maybe then. At first, I just slept soundly because I was awake because I completed the 9 church nights, last night it was just Christmas I didn't go to church plus because of the tears so my eyelids were heavy. But after a while, my chest felt like it was getting heavier. It looks like something went wrong. I just let it go when it was really heavy so I couldn't breathe then I woke up. When I opened my eyes, I saw a white woman with long hair running towards me and choking me. I can't see his face because it's dark but I can feel his grip and anger. I couldn't breathe even more in shock and fear. I try to move but I don't want to. I just let him go because inside I had an idea that it was just a dream. When I calmed down I tried to move. I was able to move and the woman disappeared. I fell asleep again as if nothing had happened. Maybe it's because I'm awake so I just ignored it. But when I slept again I was not lying down. I was inside view and I saw mama and papa sleeping. That's how I slept soundly again.
Soon something seemed to run again this time on the side part of my body. I woke up again but could not move. It was a few minutes before I did that and when I did I stepped aside from mama. I'm scared. But I was surprised because I had sleep paralysis again and I was in the room again. I said stupid I moved earlier but here I am again. I tried to move again and now it sinks into me that I haven't woken up yet! I used to think how many times I opened my eyes, it was just a joke. It's a prank! I was terrified. That's when I first thought I moved to mama I feel like I'm just floating. That is not true! I'm so nervous because I don't know if I'm awake or what because I see moms. I can see the distance between us. I just prayed the Apostles' Creed that I did not continue because I was mentally blocked due to nervousness. It's good that I woke up and I was able to move for real. I felt my eyes open. I was still shocked then. But I still felt myself. Tas when I stood up to move to mama (for real) I carried the pillow and blanket to see if I could be burdened (because our pillow is heavy because the inside is not cotton but clothes that are no longer used) Tas when I feel heavy, run away I'm going to mama.
A bit of a struggle is still real because the pillow is heavy eh my skinny skin. The distance is not far because our house is so small just about two big steps. I don't have any use for noise anymore as long as I can get out of that position. I said it was legit because mama woke up a bit eh that chicken was asleep. A little crackle is waking up. That little room is mine. There I slept alone. In this case, I always get sleep paralysis. Every night, there is no stain even if I sleep at the right time or even if it is not stress so I do not repeat. It was last night again.
