You deliberately do not greet crush on christmas eve because you do not want to run the risk of becoming a figure in the statistics of christmas-related casualties. you are also not socmed to avoid temptation. when the clock struck 12 you congratulated yourself, at the same time said to your mother, when she asked you when you will be together, "ma, it is not required to flirt at Christmas." "Yes," your mother said. "Christmas is for Jesus." You would like to say your spiel about how jesus christ was an activist, about how his life was a testament to our moral obligation to look after the marginalized, but you didnʼt want to ruin Christmas for your conservative, middle-class family. so you just said, with a forced smile: “yes, ma. merry Christmas. ”
anyway today you have Facebook. the first thing that came out of your news feed was a photo of your crush with his fam. they were all red, and the most read was the Lechon de Leche on their table. "Merry Christmas from my family to yours," the caption went. for a while, you daydreamed that someday he no longer needs to separate his family from your family. but you didnʼt want to let your overactive imagination get the better of you, so you slapped yourself slightly. You would also like to comment, just without a malicious greeting, but what would your comment do? your crush is happy. reach na lang kaya ng care? too obvious. my god don't overthink. Descartes says: "I overthink, therefore I am sad." so instantly you just scrolled down. you can do it.
to reward yourself for not being mark binuksan mo and ref niyo at kumuha ng spaghetti at lumpia, leftovers from your Noche Buena. suot mo earphones mo, and you hit play, and you picked up where youʼd left off as “Christmas song” ni phoebe bridgers, the song youʼd listened to last night on repeat until you fell asleep: the desire for annihilation is as common as it is unkind and itʼs hard to recognize the situation when youʼre desperately trying to have a good time you donʼt have to be alone to be lonesome itʼs so easy to forget the sadness comes crashing like a brick through the window and itʼs christmas so no one can fix it yeah, itʼs christmas so no one can fix it di naman masakit. kumain ka na. but what finally broke you, like a brick crashing through the window, was the fact na Sobrang lamig ng spaghetti at di na crunchy and lumpia.
