On Sunday, the superiors came to check, and the unit required to work overtime.
When I walked in the door in the morning, I heard that my colleagues were complaining about their relatives, and no one was willing to help her to take care of the children. The mother went to church every week, and the mother-in-law said that she had to take care of the sick father-in-law, so she had to bring the 9-year-old child to the unit. . The colleague said with tears and angrily: Going to church is so important? Why don't you go one less time? The father-in-law just has a cold, so why can't he take care of the children? They are too selfish!
Listening to my colleagues' complaints, my heart was heavy as a lead somehow, and I immediately missed the father who had made me complain and made me dissatisfied, and I suddenly regretted the overlapping.
When my father was alive, I had always resented him.
My father has been a leader for many years, and he is always instructive and consistent no matter whether he is in the work unit or at home. We have all resented his dominance. For example, when watching TV, he never asks us what we think, and always chooses war and historical themes. I have never watched TV series with romantic content such as "Blood Suspicion" and "Bian Ka" that were all the rage. I heard from my classmates that even "Dream of Red Mansions" was a rebroadcast later during the holidays. At home, the father is the absolute authority. We must obey his words, otherwise the house will be overcast with clouds and the atmosphere will be so depressing that people dare not dare to come out.
After I got married, my father and my ex-husband had quarrels because of family matters. Because I loved my husband deeply, I always complained about my father. I felt that he was unreasonable and doing nothing wrong.
Later, when my father fell ill, he was still the ruler of the family. Our sisters, brothers and mothers had nothing but toleration. We are unfair for our mother's grievances, but we are helpless. We think all the contradictions in the family are caused by my father, because he is too picky and too rigid. During that time our whole family didn't like my father, really.
Not long after I got married, my father was diagnosed with a severe kidney disease, and then slowly turned into uremia.
They all say "there is no filial son in front of the bed for a long time", not to mention that we are not very filial.
When my father was hospitalized for the first time, I used to excuse myself to be busy with work and to take care of my young children. I rarely went to the hospital to see my father. At that time, my marriage also had problems. I was entangled in my emotions every day, and I rarely thought of my sick father.
I always felt that my father’s illness would not be so serious. Later, although I had to start hemodialysis twice a week, every time I saw my father, I saw that his thinking was still clear. I always felt that he could persist for several years without thinking of life and death. The problem.
My marriage finally came to a dead end. I decided to divorce and raise my children alone. My decision was unanimously opposed by my mother, brother and sister, and friends in the know. They first opposed my divorce, and secondly opposed my divorce and children. I went to my father's bed in a panic and asked him what to do? He said, child, respect your inner choice. I really can't make it, just leave. Dad knows that children are your heart, so please. I lay down on the bedside and wept silently, moved by my father's profound insight.
Cut off the emotional entanglement, I was finally able to wait in front of my father's hospital bed every day, staying with him day and night, listening to him talk about his life experience, career ups and downs, and life experiences, and I understood my father a little bit more and less resented.
It is precisely because of the company of these last days that I think of it today and my heart feels a little relieved. But once there is a gap in my life, I can't help but think of my father—think of his pampering and pampering to me when I was a child; of his encouragement and indulgence to me when I was a teenager; of his strong support for me when I divorced...those bits and pieces The past has penetrated into my heart and turned into unrepentant pain, painful.
In my words, they are all full of love for my father, and each section tells the memories of those love and the good past.
We are willing to tolerate and forgive all people, so why do we have to care about with those who love us most? We are willing to be kind to strangers who pass by. Why must we beg to blame for our loved ones? Forgive some of our parents' shortcomings, think about them as ordinary people, of course, they also have shortcomings and problems, although sometimes they cannot meet our expectations, and they are not as good as other parents in one or several things. Okay, but they are the ones who love us the most.
They gave us life, gave us a warm home, and gave us wings to fly. Isn’t it enough? Are we asking them too much? Even if they can't satisfy us sometimes, please bear with them a little bit more, just like our children. Didn’t they indulge us in the same way when we were young?
Don't follow the past, think about it carefully, and you won't be able to come back after it has passed.