Helping Children Deal with the Trauma of Loss
Many parents wish they could shield their children from the harsh realities of the outside world, but unfortunately this is not always possible. When a close family member or friend passes away, or when a parent divorces, or when a family moves to a new place, children often have to deal with the loss of a parent and the loss of friends they left behind.
After a significant loss, we experience the emotion of grief. Death is commonly linked to grief, but any form of loss can set off a state of mourning. Just as adults grieve, so do children, but they may not communicate their feelings the same way.
However, grieving can have long-term impacts on the mental health of those who have experienced it as children or young adults. It's critical to learn how to recognize and deal with children's grief so that you can better support them as they go through their own.
Grief in Children: How Do They Sense It?
Children's grief is unique, just like that of adults. Grief has diverse effects on children of different ages. For example, a small child will react significantly differently to the death of a parent than an adolescent.
Because they lack the verbal skills or are unwilling to do so, children typically communicate their sorrow by acting out.
Some of the following ways that children communicate grief are dependent on the child's age and personality:
Excessive rage or hysteria
It's difficult to focus.
Stomach problems and headaches are examples of physical ailments.
Nightmares, insomnia, or waking up frequently during the night are all examples of sleep disruptions.
Consumption decreases
Taking a break from socializing with friends and family
Reverting to a childlike state of mind (such as starting to wet the bed again)
Separation anxiety and a need to be close
Misbehaving or acting out
Teenagers may begin to defy authority or engage in unsafe behavior.
Because they don't fully grasp the notion of death, infants and toddlers frequently inquire about the whereabouts of the deceased and when they will return.
There may be anxieties that they, or people they care about, may die as a result of their understanding of death and its permanence at the age of eight.
A child's expression of grief may differ from that of an adult's. If they're among other people who are clearly distressed, they may not cry at all, or they may cry at first and then appear to swiftly recover to "normal."
As a result, some people believe that children are able to swiftly overcome their grief or that they don't need to express their emotions since they are too young to really comprehend what has occurred. Of course, this isn't true, and acknowledging and supporting mourning children is just as vital as providing assistance for grieving adults.
Providing Support for Children Dealing with Loss
Only parents, teachers, and other caregivers are capable of helping children cope with their grief in a non-destructive manner, but no one can erase the anguish of loss.
Adults can assist children who have suffered a loss in several ways:
Allow youngsters to share their thoughts and feelings with you.
Maintaining a regular schedule can help provide a sense of stability and security in the workplace.
It is important, however, to give each child plenty of time to grieve and not pressure them into returning to normal activities before they are ready.
When someone asks you about death or loss, be truthful and straightforward in your answers. A lot of children wonder what happens after someone they love dies, and the answers to these inquiries aren't always clear. It's preferable to incorporate your family's own ideas about what happens to a person's soul after death with factual information about why people die and practical elements of the funeral.
When talking about someone's death, avoid using words like "gone away" or "went to sleep," which might be confusing to young children.
Be sure to reassure the child that they have no responsibility for what has happened — feelings of guilt and self-blame are frequent in youngsters who are grieving.
Even if the youngster is misbehaving or acting out, you should always be kind and sympathetic toward them.
Books can be useful in helping youngsters understand death in a way that is understandable to them.
Look at photos of deceased loved ones and share stories about them to help foster remembrances of those who have passed away.
Additionally, professional grief counseling can be a powerful tool in helping children process their emotions and move forward through the grieving process.
Working with a counselor can be especially helpful when the entire family is dealing with the loss of a loved one and you're also dealing with your own grief.