Alice's Questions that never answered!

Since I am writing a fiction story, I want to write again and to challenge myself on what @JonicaBradley challenge writing Prompt #5 Questions. I want to enter my entry and Here it is!

This is my first time to join on what @JonicaBradley challenge.

I am not a good writer though and its okay if no one wanted to read my article. Because I now its nonsense also trying english lang ako. hahaha.

Alice question herself a lot of whys and what if. "Why I'm born like this, without talents, without anything, why I'm belong to a poor family? Why?. Why? Do I'm not deserving of anything? I want to enjoy life but how?" Alice said to herself.

"Do am happy if I have a lot of friends? Belong to a rich family? Having a lot of talents to be proud of? Ofcourse who wouldn't right?" "What if I am the president of the country what would I do to rule my own country?"

"What if I am the richest woman in the world and just sitting pretty all day? What would I do with my money? haha lol this is too much right?" Alice's dreaming.

Alice wanted to be a doctor someday, but because her family couldn't afford her studies in college she stopped her studies after graduating in high school. "Why life is so unfair, I just wanted to pursue my dreams but there are many hindrances, money, my family and my relatives and friends. Yes, no one supported me, no one believe in me. Why I am belong to a family who doesn't care about me? Is it because I am not smart? Is it because I don't have talents? Is it because I am stupid? Is it because I am not beautiful?. Why they let me live when they dont care about me? Its better to kill me when I am still a baby than suffering and hurting everyday. Alice said while crying.

Because no one cared about her she escaped. "I wanted to prove to them that even I am not smart and I am stupid like what they said to me, I will make a way, I will be a doctor someday" No one can stop me now" Alice said while crying and walking in the street and its raining. "Even the weather knows my feelings" Alice said.

Since, she have some money, she rented a dorm, a bed spacer $20 or 1000 a month. Since, she don't have any kitchen utensils she decided to order a food outside cause she's hungry and tired. She wanted to go on her bed and sleep all day. "Why life is hard" she said before closing her eyes.

Alice woke up early, for she needed to look for a job to sustain her dorm rent and her life. "What job can be fit to me? I'm just a high school graduate. Is there someone will accept me? Lord guide and help me. Oh! This is my first time asking help to God. I feel like there is no God for He let me suffer but if He grant my wish then I'll believe in him" Alice said while fixing herself in the mirror.

"Where to go first, to a restaurant, store or SM? Hmmm it would be better to go at SM first. I feel nervous at the same time excited. Are they going to accept me? or they going to judge me? I need to try so that I know the answer to my questions. To my dismay they didn't accept me because of my height. Yes, I am that small but I can also do what sales lady doing. I can also be a cashier but I am not accepted because of height. Why life is unfair, that even in terms of height I feel discriminated."

Alice felt sad and weak, she needed to budget her money instead of eating budget meal in an eatery with rice, meat and vegetables costing $1 she decided to buy 10 5 it means 10 pesos for pancit and 5 pesos for the half cup of rice with a total of 15 pesos. She saves 35 pesos. And that is already big to save from food. "Why life is unfair, some people wasted a lot of food and here I am budgeting my 15 pesos for food every meal. I wish I am also rich like other people who don't need to work just sitting pretty all day. But because no one cared about me I am here living my life alone. Where would I be now if my parents supported me? Where would I be now if they love me? Where would I be now if I am smart and talented? Hey Alice stop questioning your self silly questions you never answered. Your just hurting yourself" Alice murmured to herself again.

Because Alice felt discriminated in an restaurant, store and SM because of her height, she decided to become a maid or nanny. "Is becoming a maid or nanny fit to me? What would I do if no one accept me? I think I will pass this one." And true enough after one day she received a call that she will start her job tomorrow.

Alice is thankful that her job is an stay in job because she don't need to travel everyday and renting a dorm."I guest this is better than working in SM or restaurant for I can save a lot of money. For I don't need to rent a dorm and buying food outside. I think being a nanny is not bad at all".

Alice job is to take care a 2 year old kid the whole day and her salary every month is $300 or 15, 000 a month and everything is free "What a jackpot right? I think there is God. He may let me suffer and hurt but after giving me this job, I feel like He's working in my life." Alice said to her "alaga".

"Taking care of this baby is my life now. I feel happy and contented with her. I wish my family is also taking care of me even I am already a grown woman now but I think that will not happen anymore. I need to accept, that its not their nature caring a woman like me. I am happy that I have the opportunity to take care of this baby. I will make sure that even I am not her biological mother just her nanny, she will feel loved unlike me. I feel like I am already a doctor and my patient is this cute little baby but I don't wish her to get sick though."

"After two years of being nanny, my alaga or baby turning 4 and I already earned a lot. I talked to my boss that I need to go and continue my studies. I was shocked to his answer, He investigated me and He don't want me to go because he wanted to marry me. Seriously? I thought he's not single. "Where is the mother of her baby? Why me? I don't even know what's good in me? What I know about myself is that I am ugly, stupid and numb that's why my family doesn't care about me. I am just here because I needed money to sustain my life and save money for my studies in college. But I do love the baby but my boss I don't know. I don't know if am deserving to be loved.

"Now, what would be my life if I am with my family? How does it feel to be loved by them? Are they looking for me or not? Are they worried about me after two years of not seeing each other or not? Are they happy without me? I am crying again. "

After two years again, Alice decided to get married with her boss. "There's no regret marrying my boss for he treated me like a queen, He loves me the way I am. He accepted my flaws and he respected me and support my dreams in life.

Alice never thought that she would marry someday and be a mother in an instant. Looking back to her struggles in life, where no one believe in her, no one love her, no one supported her made her cry but today those are just memories that is fading away.

Because she felt loved by her own family now, she felt contented and ecstatic everyday.

"Where would I be now if I didn't escape from my family? I didn't born rich, friendly, smart, and beautiful but God leads me to a loving family where there is no judgement and discrimination.

"But do I deserve what God given to me? What if my family are loving and I didn't escape? Do I meet my my baby and my husband today? Do our faith will still cross? Hmmmm Stop questioning Alice because everything happens for a reason....

June 21, 2021.