The first thing I was afraid of was losing the person I loved so much, I even struggled to keep him smiling, I didn't want to see him sad,especially until she shed tears, it would fail me to keep her happy,I am trying my hardest and best to fight for him, tired, tired, sick, all I feel is fighting, but it will all go away if I see the smile on his face,the feeling of happiness and laughter when he was with him made everything forgotten, only his smile and laughter made this heart calm,although I know that in recent years he has always struggled with the pain he has been suffering from so far,I know this is not an easy thing for him but I am trying hard to keep fighting to find money for his recovery,because I believe nothing is impossible if we want to try.
But last night was my thing But last night is the thing that really saddens me because the people I care about and love today are gone forever,I will always keep his face and smile in my mind, and I will always keep him in my heart,I hope grandma gets a better place there.
I miss him so much, if there is an option to turn back time then I will turn back time just to see her smiles and laughter where we are together, and I want to apologize if I haven't been a child that is useful to her,Once upon a time when he was healthy and still talking clearly I once asked him something that makes me remember until now.
I asked him"Grandma, if I have a lot of money, what is the first thing you want to ask of me, so far I haven't given the most beautiful things to you, so what do you want?"He said things that really touched my heart"Actually grandmother doesn't want anything from you, grandma just wants to see you happy and be a successful person, don't think about grandma, be yourself and prove it to the world If you are able to have a good heart, so far you have always been underestimated by others, so prove it to them and the world that you also deserve happiness,And the one that grandmother asked, give a prayer if grandmother has been gone forever"
There I felt sad, why did he say things like that while he was There I feel sad, why did he say such things, but I greeted that word with a smile and gave him a hug,I love him like my own mother, indeed from childhood I lived with him.
But now he's really gone forever, I'm so sad and lonely at the same time, usually when I come home he always welcomes me with a hug, but last night when I came home from his funeral, I felt so lost and put me down, I tried to comfort myself, but the sadness I could not cover,maybe by pouring my feelings into this article can make me better and convey it to all of you, but I am sure even without this article you will understand.
When I was little I always wanted to be an adult who has his own busy life,I used to feel that being an adult can make me a busy person in an activity, and have a lot of money from work that I can buy whatever I want.
But when I grow up, I feel very different from what I thought when I was little,everything I imagine is not as beautiful as the reality today, the more you get older the more dependents and thoughts that make me want to go back to being a child again.
It turns out that being a happier little child, doing the things we want without thinking anything, not thinking about the risks that will occur, just moving forward and taking steps,It's all very fun when playing with friends and looking for something, whatever we do always makes us laugh happily,Asking for money to buy food, without thinking about where the money came from.
But now I realize how hard it is to make money right now, have to work hard for money.Now I understand why the lesson is important for us, so that what we live later in the day can make us appreciate what we have got more.
Maybe this is what I can tell you a little, there are many things that I can write about here, but right now I just want to share what is in my heart right now.If you all like what I say, then I will continue to write, and learn to make it even better,I hope I not only get a good lesson here, but I hope to make more friends here.🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you very much
