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Hey its me again, I know I've been missing in action for quite some time now. Because I really really needed the break. I've been struggling with a fever for a couple of days and thank God that I'm feeling a little better now. Just with the back pains and all but it's good.
The reason why I titled this article today as "Lucky to have Them" is because of my friends. Ever recall the saying "a friend in need is a friend indeed"? Well those are my kind of friends. And if you're what really happened. Here's why:
Last night I shared a post that asks "what do you need right now?", and I reposted it with the word hugs and a teary-eyed emoji.
And for some reason I wasn't really expecting any response because it was like my way of saying this to my family. Because a few days ago, I had like a misunderstanding with my family and they were like I wasn't reaching out to them quite so often. Which is true, but because I was kind of burned out trying my best and keeping up with their expectations of me. And constantly being reminded of great of a failure I was, getting pregnant early.
So my mom blocked me on messenger, which was a first for me. So it was really devastating to me, but of course I had to keep it in. I didn't want this to spread like wild fire. And this wasn't a first for my mom. She already blocked my older sister too. I don't really recall for how long but they eventually reconnected after that. The funny thing though, I was the bridge in their recovery. And now I'm the one being tossed aside.
I'm really really emotional when it comes to my family. And I've got this like disability to express my feelings to them whether it's anger or sadness or even expressions of love. Because I really am not good with words. Or even constructing what to say to them. Or even in letters. So I just keep it all to myself. And that's maybe why it took a huge toll on my body. And for days after my birthday,(which was probably right after my mom blocked me) I had an extreme fever.
And when I scrolled through my Facebook app, that's when I saw the post and reposted it requesting for a hug. But it was really supposed to be directed to my family.
Then just this afternoon, I was feeling quite better and had the chance to open my Facebook app again. And to my surprise, one of my long time friend commented on my post.
It was all like a series of me and her replying with emojis and stickers. But I really appreciate her effort because I didn't think she was gonna take my post seriously. And I though that was just about it. But then she messaged me and asked how I was.
At first I said I was OK, thinking she'd buy it like everyone else does haha. But then I was wrong because she kind of like "weh?". So I had to say I was 50/50 like 50% fine 50% not. And she went on to say she would visit me as soon as she comes home. Which really got me so excited because we haven't seen each other for a long time.
And for a brief moment, I felt like I wasn't totally alone. In fact, I actually wasn't alone. Because the friends, I thought that have forgotten about actually haven't. They were just busy with their own lives but never really forgotten all about me. Which really gotten me guilty because I was like in a state where I withdraw any connection with anyone. I was like dwelling in my own personal shell again that I'd forgotten that I have friends that are always there for me whenever I'm at my lowest point in my life.
And the reason I'm sharing this with you guys is because I wanted to tell you so badly to always treasure these kind of people. They may not always be with you 24/7 but know that they are always there for you. They may not be physically available but know that they are just one call away. You can always open up to them. Not necessarily meaning you'd have to spread all the details but it doesn't also necessarily mean you'd have to leave entirely clueless.
Oh and btw guys, if you're wondering when this situation happened. It actually happened last October 6. Yes a week probably, my birthday. I was such in a devastating state. That I needed like a breather or perhaps a comfort from what I was actually feeling. And then it happened pretty quickly.
And I had to recently go back to see the timestamp of our conversation. Like I really forget all the little things. I guess when you age you tend to be forgetful and I'm only 21 at the moment. And perhaps, stress has a lot to deal with it.
And I really had a hard time deciding whether or not I should this with you guys. Cause you might want to point out my mother blocking me on social media with both of my Facebook accounts. But really, it was all my fault. If you could remember my very first article titled "Ber Months : Bring Back Worst Memories". Well you would probably know that I hate it when "Ber Months" come along because I so badly miss my family; my mama, my older sister and older brother. They've been away from home because of work and it was around that time, the 6th of October that I was kinda in my own bubble. I was pretty much missing them, and I worry that they might be too busy that I could only just interrupt their work that I forgot to message them. Which I usually do on a daily basis back then. But then, everything changed.
So there you have it guys. Again thank you for spending little bit of your time reading my work. And if you're not busy I would to invite to check out the respective profiles of my generous sponsors.