Everything just seems to be on a fast pace. One moment it's New Year's Eve. The next day it's the first day of January. And then for a moment you're already fash approaching September.
I just hate "Ber months" to be honest. I don't know why either hahah. Maybe it's because when "Ber months" come, it's indicating that Christmas Season is just right by the corner. And over the last two years, I've been celebrating it alone.
Well, technically not alone, I have my 2 year old kid now, and my papa, who btw is gonna be drunk for the evening. And my kiddo doesn't even mind it yet. So it just feels lonely. And to hearing your next door neighbours family's laughter. Just breaks my heart. Like literally I really cried the entire evening.
Because memories from the past came rushing back in. And I remember the times when we were actually all together for quite so long. (I didn't have my kiddo back then, that was probably around 2016 I think) Suddenly the memory shifted to about our last meal together I think. I think this was back in 2018.
When my sister and brother had an argument, then my mother came in front of them to ask them to stop. Ultimately my sister who is the eldest, suddenly burst her anger at mama. She said that mama was always siding with my older brother. Though it was just out of sister's frustration. But it's really broke my mother's heart.
She quickly packed up to live in the middle of the night. Mind you this was the first she literally walked out on us. I quickly rushed to get her to come back. She said she just needed a breath. So I let her go, but I was really crying. I came back home, then thankfully her friend called us and said that she was gonna stay there for the night.
So yeah, because of that confrontation scene, they literally moved out. I mean, my sister went abroad, she literally carried our brother there. To help her out with taking care of us all. But then in May, my mother suddenly decided to go to Manila to work. Though she's over 40,she chose to work, for me. Because I was the only one studying.
And so our set up was like a broken family now. They all didn't want to come home . Especially this pandemic started, it was difficult for them to book flights with no guarantee that they're not gonna contract the virus.
So there you have it guys. Ultimately I don't like having the thought of celebrating the holidays yet again all alone.
Such a sad story. It makes me really conscious of the fact that for many people Holiday's are not happy times even though it seems like it should be. I hope one day you will have your happy holidays again with your family :)