She's been drained.

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3 years ago

When I decided to get married I thought I can able to start and build a new family of me. I promise to myself that I want to get married if I can see that my siblings were okay and as the eldest among my siblings , I know it is my responsibility to make sure that they are stable or they can stand by themselves before I start to leave them. I thought they are all responsible and stable by the time that I marry my husband but I was wrong.

Another drama of my life that I will share to you. Sorry for writing it here as some of you might not so interested. Forgive me by sharing it as this is my only way to express.it and lessen my burdens and heavy feeling that I still keep inside. I know people here will understand me and never judge me like when I will posted it on Facebook where the judgemental people and gossips are everywhere.

I am so stressed these past few days. I am so drained physically and mentally to the point that I didn't take good care of myself. I wrote to my previous article which entitled forgiveness that my mother went back home here and we give us a second chance but because of pride and she don't want to reconcile with my father , she leave the house again and go to our relatives and stay there. She even told them that she and my father was already separated that makes my father more angry because she already declared that separate thing. I am a bit relief when she came back because my responsibilities here in our house will be lessen and my only responsibility when she was here was to take good care of my son because she was the one who take good care of my niece. My relief was gone instantly and earn some energy to be a multi Tasker again.

Another incident happened after my mother leave the house. My father had an accident when he was driving a motorcycle on his way on his work. It was 5:30 in the morning when someone called me and said that my father had an accident and it was in my husbands place. Gladly he was using helmet and the damages that he been through is only minor. My husband went to the place to rescue him and rented a vehicle for thier service. His arm got swollen and he needs to take a rest until his arms be okay. I am now taking good care of him while taking good care of my son and my niece who was so very active because they are on terrible two stages.

Aside from this responsibilities , I am also stressed with my little brother who always borrow some money to me and as her sister it's my responsibility to help him even if what I have is my last cents. Yesterday he give his dept to me but after an hour he chatted me and said that he will borrowed it again. I don't have a lot of spare money and my husband salary is only enough on our daily living that's why I got stressed to him because he is a single and he can't provide for himself and he didn't think that maybe I am budgeting my husbands salary. To be honest , my head is in pain because of my little brother.

Right now , as I am typing this. I am in the middle of crying. Crying silently so that my husband would not hear me. I don't want to share to him how heavy my feelings is because he has also a problem in his family side. Yes , both of our families are so stressful but the difference is I am the eldest and he is the youngest and yet he's acting like that eldest because his eldest brother is like my younger brother. Today is his day off and he go to thier house to check his father and step mother and give some money to them. When he went back here he told a story that is now new to me because I know that's the set up in thier house.

As much as we want to mind our own family , we can't do it because we also need to think of our parents and siblings even if we have our own family. We want to separate and live on our own but the worries on our heart is here. If we leave my parents house , who the one who will take good care of my niece? My sister didn't afford to hire a Yaya because she's a single mom. Who's the one who will look after the house when my father is in work and who's the one who will take good care of my father when he retires. A lot of questions in my mind that has no answer yet that's what my head aches.

For now , I can do all this even if it's hard and looking forward that someday everything will be okay. If you are reading up to this part. Thank you very much and goodnight ♥️

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3 years ago

Comments

"Brother, every time you need money, please help me with something and write an article about it on read.cash." << Will this work? We can encourage him too.

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3 years ago

I don't know what you're talking about

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

I was thinking about ideas to help you and help your brother. It's something you could say to your brother.

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3 years ago

Now I understand your comment. Thank you for the suggestion.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Subrang bigat po talaga pag ikaw ang panaganay po. Lahat kailangan pasanin. Kakapagod po pero kakayanin. Same din po sa sitwasyon nyo, malaki din porblema ng hubby ko sa side nya. Lalo na sa papa nya. Gustuhin man namin na wag na sanang makialam at magpakalayo layo kaso naawa kami sa mga kapatid ng hubby ko. Kaya ayun, stressed palagi sa tatay nya na pumupunta lng dito sa bahay para manghiram kuno ng pera tapos malalaman namin na puro inum ng alak lng ang gawa tas di binibilhan ng makain ang mga anak. Gustuhin ko man na dito mg kapatid ng hubby ko pero d ko magawa kasi mahirap mag alaga ng bata. At ayoko ma stress. Baka mamatay ako ng maaga, isa pa may kapatid na man na na dalaga si hubby ko kaya alam ko d niya pababayaan mga kapatid nya. Ang hirap din ng sitwasyon. 🥺

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3 years ago

Haysss hirap no pero Kaya natin Yan.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Oo mamsh. Kakayanin talaga kasi may nangangalaingan na satij. Yung anak natin. 🤗

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3 years ago

Totoo.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

I can understand your pain at least a little bit. But I'm sorry I can't share your pain because it's not possible. But you are trying your best, I hope the Creator will reward your efforts. Never be discouraged no matter what the situation. Try to deal with the problem with courage and patience. God bless you.

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3 years ago

Thank you ♥️

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Nakoo my yen, ang bigat nman nang sitwasyon na yan. 🥺 Siguro I'll leave with this nlng, God gives the toughest battles to his strongest warriors.

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3 years ago

Okay na ako. Huminga Lang ako kagabi 🙂

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Okay na ako. Huminga Lang ako kagabi 🙂

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Kya ayoko mag asawa eh 🤣🤣

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3 years ago

Ay hahaha. Di Naman Yung asawa ko problem 😂

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Kya nga.. Mga kapatid ko makakastresa kung mag asawa ako 🤣🤣

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3 years ago

Ay hahaha. Di Naman Yung asawa ko problem 😂

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

I can feel you mommy Yen. Ang hirap, parang same pala tayo yung mama ko inaccept namin uli, since broken family talga kami. Pero yung papa ko nakatira na sa ibang bahay, bale my new family na. Kaso imbes gumanda yung buhay ksi inaccept namin si mama, nag iba eh. Kami na lahat naghahandle ng expenses. Kaya gustong gusto ko na tlaga bumukod kmi. Kaso di namin maiwan2 tong bahay, sa papa kasi namin, at pag iniwan nmin to kay mama for sure gyera na. Hays ang hirap maipit sa gnitong sitwayson.

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3 years ago

Totoo Yun. Hindi mo Alam Kung saan ka pupunta. Ayaw ko Naman mag stay for good dito kahit mga kapatid ko ayaw din Naman tumira dito dahil toxic paligid tapos Yung bahay ng in-laws ko sa asawa ko na Kaya minsan napupulaan kami bakit daw dpa kami dun tumira Kasi dalawang matanda nalang nakatira don. Kung ako masusunod gusto ko Yung sarili namin Kaso pano 😂

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Hays gnyan na ganyan din feeling ko last year pa, gusto ko na tlga bumukod kaso, pinanghahawakan ko nlng yung bahay na min ngayon, sakin kasi binili ng papa ko. Ang hirap, magdecide di ko naman mapaalis mga kasama ko sa bahay. Ewan ko ba ang gulo ng buhay talaga. 😅

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3 years ago

Hays. Gulo gulo nga 😂

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago