My father and I had a conversation last night. We talked about our situation now. My husband is jobless because his work in Manila was stopped due to pandemic. I dont want him to go on Manila because until now there's a lot of covid19 cases in NCR. Though he's doing his best on finding a job here people will always find a word to throw about. He's not a jobless at all. When their work stopped , they recieved a weekly allowance coming from their company. Its lasted by the end of May. By June he get a job but it only lasted for 1 month. By July he has still a sideline job, not everyday but he always find a way to earn money.
We stayed in my parents house for the whole month Of September. I know he's not comfortable here because he was shy with my parents because he was jobless. We stayed here because the birthday of my son will be held in our house. We are going tommorow on my inlaws house because my husband find a sideline there more often than here.
My father told me last night. Heres our conversation.
Papa : I feel that both of you having ahard time now. You didnt speak at all but I feel that. I will find way so that your husband gets a job. You know, theres a lot of eyes that seeing your situation and I am pity with your husband because he's the responsible with your family and yet he was jobless. I am not pity on you because you have us. I am pity with your husband.
I feel hurt when my father said that words to me. I know he was worried and I know that he said those word because I experienced it in the past also. I appreciated his words but I am not okay with what hesaid about what other people might say to my husband. I am crying while saying this words to him.
Me : Yes, my husband is jobless now but it doesnt mean that you will feel pity for us. We didnt asked for help to anyone. They didnt feed us. I let my husband be jobless now because we have a saving. We can survive this pandemic even if my husband has no job. We have no debt. We can survive without the help of anyone now. But if it comes to the point that we have no money left in our savings , dont worry Papa I will be the one who provide the needs of my family.
Honestly, I am also feel worried about our finances but I dont want to step forward on my husband decision. As the father of the family I just let him do anything that he can to raised his family. If time comes that he cant sustain the need of our family thats the time I will asked him if I need to help him.
I know my father was also worried for us especially to my husband because other people might judge him after knowing that he's jobless but they didnt know the story behind it. We think about our future. We think a lot of possible ways to survive this pandemic. But seems people cant only managed to do their own business.
My husband heard that conversation last night. He asked me. Love, do you still love me? Do you have regrets about choosing me as your husband? I answered , I love you. I dont have any regrets why I choose you. Its only a challenge for us. We've been married for 2 years and there's a lot of challenges thst would come in the future.
I promised myself not to be like my mother. That when my father dont have a job, she will left the house. I will never be like her. I will fulfill the promised that I've made during our wedding. For richer or poorer I choose him because he is my husband and we promised to be together no matter what happened.
Sorry for being dramatic. I am in tears my typing this. I am emotional when it comes to my family.
I know there's a lot of people who are relatable to our situation and I am still thankful that we still survived this pandemic without debt. I know it hard, but I also believed that we can overcome this challenges as long as we are together with God and Hes the center of it and have faith that He always provides.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34
But you know what, there's nothing wrong to accept your dad's offer for as long as it for your family. But of course, your husband will accept it wholeheartedly