Forgiveness:Another act of love.

I have been struggling this past few days because of hatred. A hatred coming from what my mom did to us. A hatred that I want to forget but keeps on bothering me because I still see my father being hurt. Yes , after 5 months of leaving the house she's back like there's nothing happened. Even a single apology on what she did , we didn't heard on her. So how can we forgive her?

I am not a type of person who keeps hatred because I am also the one who having a hard time carrying it. Until now , I didn't talk to my mother and thinking how this family problem will be solve , I know this cannot be back like the old times as a foundation already broke but atleast we can be casual just for the sake of being whole. Whole family physically but we all know that it was still broken even back then.

All of us feel hurt when someone commit mistakes or wrong doings to us. Maybe you are a victim of criticism or you had a traumatic experience physically and mentally. Maybe your partner cheated on you or your friend betrayed you.

This kind of acts will leave a deep wounds to you resulting bitterness and anger or on some case they are planning to take a revenge.

It is not easy to forgive especially if you hurt so much but if you will not learn how to forgive, you will be the one who suffer like I experienced now. If we all choose to forgive , we also find the peace and joy in inner you. Forgiveness is not about on forgiving the people who hurt you but it's is also about you. It's also about your inner peace. I remember when I watch the documentary on TV , when Cherrypie Picache forgive the man who killed her mother. I asked myself , how can she do that? It is not easy, but after watching it I salute her and understand why she forgive the killer. She also asking for God grace and mercy so she can able to forgive that person. She's so brave to do that because when I think of that , it I am in that kind of situation I don't know if I can easily forgive the person but she did.

What is forgiveness to you?

We all have different meaning about forgiveness. Generally speaking , it is all about letting go of hurt and forget about the revenge. Maybe the memories when you got hurt are still there but when you forgive , you let yourself be free from the bitterness. Forgiveness can also gives you understanding and have an empathy to the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you already forget what the person did. It requires time and process of healing but forgive is the start of telling yourself that you want to be at peace and move on with life.

Benefits of forgiving.

If you decided to let go of the hurt and bitterness in you , it is a fresh start to a healthier you not just physically but also mentally. Your anxiety become less and a fewer chance to have a depression. Forgiveness can also affect the immune system , heart and the blood pressure.

Forgiveness and reconciliation

If a person who hurt you is still value the relationship between the two of you, reconciliation can be possible but it is not applicable in some. If a person don't want to communicate with you anymore ofcourse reconciliation is not possible only forgiveness.

What if I am the one who needs forgiveness?

The only thing the you need to do is to be honest and admit your mistakes. Apologize to the one you hurt and to all the people who affected. Do it sincerely and and ask for forgiveness without any reasons and excuses. After doing these , you cant be sure if you will be forgive because you can't please someone to forgive other person. Like what I said earlier , it requires time and process of healing. But admitting your mistakes one of the way so that person can forgive you.

As for my me , I already forgive my mom even if she didn't asked for apologies. I do it not because of her but because I want an inner peace. I also want my family to be whole again because having no mother with my side is not easy. I can managed to be with the house , I survived 5 months without her but even if she did something wrong to us I still missed her. I am not a bad daughter , maybe I am just a victim of circumstances.

As for my father , I know forgiveness has some part on his heart but I can say it is not now because the pain is so fresh and always bring back everytime he thinks of it but letting my mom stay in our house again instead of filing a case of hurting my mom is a kind of act that I am really proud on my father. Maybe he can do to forgive now but we are still hoping that one day he can do it.

And for my mother , I hope she can admit her mistakes and prove to us that she wants a change and never repeat what she has done because my father is waiting for her apology. The set up in our house is hard because of not asking of apologies.