How old are you today?

How old are you today?

I'm not talking about the registry ones, I'm talking about the soul ones, the ones where you breathed harder and your heart went crazy.

The ones where all the excitement and all the terror of being in love but never really being loved by anyone entered.

How many years were hidden in the worst memories or the best ones?

Looking at you now would you know how to love again or would you rather remain invisible to everyone, so quietly ignored?

Beg...

Asking...

Begging...

Did you ever realize how useless you were in their eyes, you always available, so lacking and in need of affection and so invisible to everyone's eyes.

Invisible...

Now it's not so bad after all.

You get used to it and let loneliness embrace you, you've lived with it all your life, it's the only magnanimous monster you know.

How old are you today, after all this time of going down the wrong paths and falling?

Today that you've realized that everyone else has been lying to you all along?

[2019©Yelena b.]

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