I've been taking a long break from writing, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I haven't had any inspiration in quite some time.
I need to be inspired or in the right mood to line up ideas, nothing good comes to me if I'm not in the right frame of mind, I'd rather not even try.
I've written a lot in the past, many thoughts have become poems, free verses that I'm very fond of and that I often reread in my personal blog.
Just today I came across these verses and I got excited thinking about the feelings that inspired me
I could still have you
firstborn son of a sweet bitter illusion
one of those that sneaks through the sleepy thoughts at night, in the drowsiness
I could still touch you
along the edges of a found dream
abandoned in a dark corner of the heart
when I clean it from the dust of an almost faded past
I could still look at you
following the memory
going over the echo of words
the same ones that perhaps I believed you whispered to me when you held me in your arms
And pretended I was yours
I could still
wait
in an insane, crazy awareness
Of a fatuous 'I love you' that never surfaced on those poisoned rose lips
That tender kiss I dedicated to you
Is left somewhere
between your skin and a lack
between you and me
That we were never really
so close
to hold each other.
[2018©Yelena b.]
I don't feel that way anymore, I'm healed but it makes me tender to think back to the me of that time. I wonder where I ended up....
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