The Family Scare

I don't know if it's only me or there were others out there who were like me that were scared to interact with their relatives.

I used to get excited meeting our relatives in my father side. Until one of his cousins attempted to rape me in our own home.

That scenario is still fresh in my mind until now. I will never forget the fast beating of my heart, the extreme emotion, the feeling of helplessness and that feeling when you wanted to scream but nothing comes out of your mouth due to the fright you felt.

There were two of them. Let's start with the first one. We call him Choi in the family. I don't know what his real name is. I just heard our other relatives call him Choi so I addressed him as Tito Choi too.

I first met him when my dad's mother whom I call Ama died. During Ama's wake, he was there.

He talked to me and get my number. I gave him my number thinking it's no harm in doing so. That's when he started texting me, even calling me. He would even get disappointed when I don't reply or answer his calls. There was this one time when his wife even mistaken me for his husband's mistress.

Then everytime I go home from school, I would "accidentally" meet him on my way home. That time, I thought it was just merely a coincidence until it happens everyday. That time, I felt uneasy. I feel like there's something wrong but I just shrugged it away thinking I might just be getting paranoid.

Then one time, it's too hard to get a jeepney going home. And he's there again. We walked a little going to the jeep terminal when we passed by a SOGO Hotel and he boldly asked me that we should juat check in since it's late night. I don't feel good about it so I turned down his offer.

The weekend after that, he started going to our house. He would stay there every Saturday night and would go in the Sunday morning. He would cook for us, bring us some treats when he arrives. My mom liked his "care" for us and did not suspect him for something bad.

One saturday night, he had some beer that night. I was already sleeping when I woke up because there's someone on top of me. He's squeezing mu shoulders while holding my hands and started kissing my neck. I cried but I can't voice out anything. Then the lights opened.

It was my mom who got up early. She turned on the lights and I was relieved. That "thing" did not happen for real. When I woke up the next day, he left me 300 pesos in the notebook that i put under my bed because I was reviewing before going to sleep. I felt like being treated like a prostitute even though it was not successful.

I told my mom about it the next day. She won't believe me. She even think I was just making it up and that maybe it was just my imagination. But it wasn't. I hope it is but it isn't. It's real and it makes me scared as hell.

That's when I started getting mindful of everything. How I dress. Is it too fit? Is it too thin? Is it too short? Is it revealing? I started wearing dark colored extra loose shirts. I don't wear shorts that were above my knee high whenever I need to go out. I don't wear sleeveless. I only wear long tokongs, pants, shirts whenever I come out of our house. Even inside our house. I feel like there's someone peeping on me in the corners of our house every time I dress myself.