Morning all.... today accompanied by coffee and a piece of charred bread, I tried to write again about the meaning of love and comfort.
I don't know where it came from, I myself never understood everything felt so peaceful the sound of rain and the silence of the morning reminded me of the times when the sound of the wind and heavy rain made me very scared and pounding. Time goes on without ever and the weather keeps changing and for sure the rain will not care about my fear of him until the time I have to walk against the rain looking for the soul that I really love.
That day as usual, I was afraid of the sound of rain and lightning and the roar of the wind when it rained quietly in my room and the one I loved, I also saw that he seemed to have fallen asleep in his bed with the nervousness that I held back I thought he was sleeping and I can relieve my fear in my own room to calm my pounding. I was asleep for a few minutes which I remembered in the blanket then woke up and remembered he was in the downstairs bedroom alone" my brain said 'this fear is stupid, even though the rain will not stop even if I hide in a cave and the sound is thunder, rain, thunder , the wind will still be heard. In a hurry and forgetting the nervousness I had I stepped down the stairs to see if the one I loved was still asleep or awake....
But he was not there , I looked in every room and room .. I asked my brothers and sisters .
' Where is my Love ? ...they also asked we were also looking for him.. Daaaaar like a thunderclap hit my chest...
Where did my love go.. don't rain heavily, wind .. the sound of lightning that I heard seemed to disappear turned into panic of worry ... where did he go .. how my love can walk out of the house when the weather is this bad .. I don't know what I'm so panicked , confused , shy and angry with myself at that time for being so careless ... and not by his side at that time .. ughhh .
I don't know, I don't even remember how in the end I no longer paid attention to my fear of rain, wind and lightning.. I took an umbrella and I started walking to every neighbor's house and every post and shop to ask if anyone had seen him... .
The umbrella that covered my head still made me wet, I couldn't hold back the heavy rain that was carried by the wind wetting my body.
I walked through the rain of tears and the rain that day became good friends like water that fell from the sky covering the tears that were also pouring out of my bleary eyes looking for my love that was nowhere to be found .. many questions after questions, prayer after prayer continued to flow on my lips .. not anymore I care about the rain as well as the wind and the sound of thunder.
I keep praying and asking questions to God..
God where is he.. why and what took him out of the house.. how he walks...with his weak legs God.. God protect my love.
God ... where is he .. ????
I also didn't find him... I languidly returned home.. hoping that the others had found him... none of them were panicked and confused... But God heard our prayers..
A few minutes later we saw a security guard in our house area , walking with him .. happy mixed with various questions . I approached my love .. and immediately hugged him .
Long story short we asked the father of security where to find him..
The security said he saw him standing in a shophouse...then asked him what he was doing and he answered and asked..Who owns this building I want to buy it for my love. (that's what he said)
That day the heavy rain became a friend for my tears.
And what's on his mind .. in a state of great pain he only thinks about you his love ..
he is
He loves me, he misses me, he loves me... he is my best friend.. But he is not my lover..
She is my greatest mother who taught me about life and love with all my heart without ever asking for anything in return
Sorry I can't continue this post today...
Mama Yana miss mama... :((