In the mood for a little fun

Open the car door with one of my humans. The hair on the tip of my tail stands on end at the sight of it. As soon as I step out of the car, I'm overcome with dread and revulsion. My bare feet touch the unkempt ground, which is littered with leaves, dirt, and creatures with limbs longer than mine. I shudder. After playing in the grass, I spent the entire vehicle trip polishing my dazzling white paws. Everything was for naught. A member of my human family asks me to sit on this soiled floor. While the other grabs something long and dingy, I unwillingly comply. My collar is tied to a long, dirty piece of junk, and the other end is wrapped around the largest stick I have ever encountered. I sit in the ground and watch as the people unload their car full of unusual items. In retrospect, I wonder if my human companions were pleased about this as much as I was. Is this what you mean by "camping," exactly?

This is my first effort at acclimatization. I see a six-legged monster that shouldn't be able to even move air around us, and I cringe. Thousands of the same creatures seem to be following in its footsteps. On the ground, there are brown and green things that crunch under my paws that they're weaving in and out of. "What are these?" I asked myself. When I was following them for a bit, something stopped me in my tracks. When we first arrived, I was tethered to a dirty, off-white leash. However, I'm not really interested in finding out what lurks between all those tall twigs in the ground. When they tied me to this enormous stick, I'm not sure if they had any idea what they were doing.

I take a short snooze on the cleanest bit of land I can find, imagining myself back at my place. My nose suddenly jolts me awake. I'm not sure what that fragrance is. I take my time getting out of bed and peer around the room to see what the humans have been up to. Somehow, this hole in the ground was illuminated by an enchanting glow of warm light. It was reassuring in a strange way. The closer I came, the more my fur felt like it was on fire. When I saw them holding sticks over the light, I couldn't help but chuckle. Anyone who has ever held a stick over a light knows that it's for chasing. What are these sticks full of? My paws trembled as a result of them being referred to as "hot dogs." So they gave me one. In the wake of what they just termed it, how could I eat this? Maybe just a taste would be all that's necessary. It was heavenly. It only need a rebranding. They eventually took their sticks away and let me sleep on their laps for what felt like hours.

I awoke in the dead of night. The sun had gone down, but my loved ones remained close by. While they walked me to the strangest kennel I had ever seen, the warm glow faded. When they climbed in and indicated for me to join them, I was taken aback. What type of kennel does this have? It was so thin and frail, I was afraid to touch it. Despite the cramped quarters, we managed to get some shut-eye. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of snoozing, but this? This flimsy kennel was being ravaged by the same brown and green circles. The fact that my human companions didn't find this horrifying baffles me to no end. I had to stay up all night to keep an eye out for all the pranksters. It was all too much for me. Strangers could be heard all around me. Some were spotted just outside this squalid kennel, which appeared to be infested with flies. Despite my humans' repeated requests for me to stay quiet, I continued to growl at them. Just doing what I had to do.

Eventually, the sun came out. She felt like a million bucks. I was able to get some shut-eye after being relieved of my night shift duties. After a while, my humans woke up and we were all back to normal. To my surprise, I found my ball outside. The experience of "camping" was becoming increasingly enjoyable. By throwing my ball straight up in the air, my people allow me to demonstrate my impressive leaping abilities. Even though I only managed to catch it a handful of times, they still gave me props.

I think I'd be up for another camping trip in the future. A nicer kennel and new names for the food we ate are two things I would insist on. No matter where they take me, my people will always be my closest companions.