My first crush experience

It's my first time to share my first crush story here, it comes to my mind after reading some love stories here in read. cash.

Let's start;ito na yata ang pinakatangang araw ng buhay ko😅

I have had a crush since I'm in grade 2, imagine that early age, I already have a crush, I don't know if all of us have felt the same. Lets just call him JR, I just hope, my classmates were not here, Lol.

I find him cute and attractive especially he has two dimples on his cheek, he's a quieter boy, he never talks to me ever since we have the same school because we have different sections, I just saw him far from me.

I feel jealous when he played ended with his classmates especially with girls because I felt I had no chance for him. After two years, when we are in grade four he transferred to another school because he has a broken family, his father and mother were not on good terms already. He has transferred to this different relative.

• Fast forward

I didn't see him until I graduated in grade but never forget his face until...

One day, I enrolled in high school, with our municipality. I never thought that I will see him there and finally were classmates again, and we're in the same section. So, the feelings come back again, and I'm so excited to go to school every day and wear my best to make myself attractive. I can't explain how it goes but I am overwhelmed when I see him and maybe the bad side is "I do everything he asks from me in school".

I write her notes

Answer his assignments.

I bring her notebook and place it in my bag

I also gave him money when he has no money to buy food during recess.

I didn't have control over my actions already, I'm aware that my classmates laughed at me, criticize me, and bully me for what I did. I don't think it's love, or I'm just," uto-uto", hehe, to the point that I make myself shameful. Everyone knows what I did, and this boy also did to me, even our teachers but nobody tried to correct me. And every time I write her notebook I always leave a signature below and my name. For almost 6 years of being crushed with him, he never courted me, or even tell me that he likes me, but on my side, it was too obvious that I like him. He appears in my dream, and even thinks if "He loves me, he loves me not? Have you tried that to get a flower and ask if he loves me, or he loves me not? Hehe, I did that too.

Until one day, they played takraw inside the classroom, and because I have a crush on him I watch them playing. And when he strikes that ball it hits my face, I'm blooded, and my uniform becomes so messy with blood. I cried a lot, and my teacher came and told him to say, Sorry", but he never did. I was so disappointed with him, after all, that I did for him, helping with his assignments, quizzes, and exam, even a sorry is so hard for him to do. I felt so shame in front of my classmates because they were all looking at me, and my teacher was yelling at him to say sorry, he never did.

I'm already the fourth year when it happened, on that day, I have realized that I'm just fooling myself with a person who never wants or cares for me. Other guys are very nice to me but I often ignore them because I only give my attention to someone who rejects me. He's just using me to pass the test, answer his quizzes, and other academic requirements. But he never cares what I feel. Maybe it's key if he just says something like Sorry.

From then on, I ignore him and didn't accept his request anymore.

REALIZATION

When we fall in love, we should open our eyes, they always say love is blind. Yes, it's true when are too much drowned with our feelings we are not aware anymore that we did something wrong. Even if I suffer every day of bringing her notebook, it's just fine with me, I realized how foolish I am with what I did before.

What I get mad, because he didn't say any words, as in nothing, he seems to like, he doesn't hear or see anything in front of him. Instead of falling for him, it's replaced with hate.

Until such time, that we had a CAT training, and I'm one of the officers of the troops, so I want to punish him all the time but I think I'm so selfish, so I just set him free and treat him like nothing happened.

During our bonfire, we had playtime and we used to enjoy it like everything is fine. I can't explain his behavior but he grows up with a very unusual life, he makes his way to survive and feed himself.

After one night of the celebration of our graduation of the training, it turns good for me, because I have a new task to perform in school, so it makes me forget my bad memories with that boy.

• CONCLUSION

I still remember him now, but the feelings are gone already, I realized sometimes a young girl can do foolish things because of the obsession of the called love when it's love or puppy love. On my side, I never share it with anyone, even with my parents, they don't know what happened with me in school, as long as I got home, it's just fine.

It hurts when you give your best but you didn't receive even respect, I am blinded and didn't see the good things around.

One-sided love is not good, it can break a heart. That was the longest crushed that I ever had, but that hurts me so much also, which I think everything is just an illusion.

Do you have a first crush too?

Anyway, it happens in the past but now I'm happily married.

P.S., nga pala dahil nagsulat na rin lang si @BreadChamp tungkol as crush nya baka kayo na rin, hehe, katuwaan lang naman.

Sa may gusto lang po.Please do share your crush stories if you like.😄