“Grey strands of time”
3:00 am;
I wake up with a burning stomach, already regretting last night's dinner. I try to sleep back for some time, but sleeping now seems like an arduous task, a fight that I already fought and won only a few hours ago and don't have the will to fight again. Fajar time is near so I decide to pray tahajjud. My long lasting comrade (and sometimes rival) is still sleeping. Still beautiful as ever. Carefully I find my way to wazu. Everything aches. This is how a rusted piece of metal must feel like if It had feelings. I pray tahajjud and recite some Quran and Lo! Its fajar time. Time to go to masjid and meet my only friends these days. White bearded fellows with hearts as young as ever. Time to discuss politics, pull some legs, worry about youth and the future of this country. How exciting!
12pm;
I feel hungry. Anyone would if they had a breakfast like mine. I sigh and wonder, Why does age bring so many restrictions? Can't take sugar for risk of diabetes, can't talk salt, can't even have a paratha for fear of hypertension! Eat greens they say, am I a cow or something? Why haven't they discovered a cure yet for all these ailments. The anger that has filled me with all these thoughts, vanishes as I see my son, my world, come out his room for breakfast. I thought this whole thing with Quarantine and not being able to go outside would mean more time with my sons and daughters, but man was I wrong. It appears they've become owls.
I call this young man to my room, ask him for a glass of water. Little does he know I just want to see him, talk to him, for moments like these when He's out of his room are very rare. He brings me a glass and is about to run off, when I ask him how's He. 'okay, dad' He says. I ask him about his studies for lack of another topic. His response is rushed and subtle. This generation is always in a rush. Little does He know that I wait all morning for him to wake up. For Him to spend some time with me. How happy I was those last years of my job, thinking of how now I'll be able to spend time with my family, How wrong I was.
7pm;
The sun is setting down, letting out its last bit of light for the day. It reminds me of my own condition. I wonder if time has slowed down for the sun too in these last moments. I wonder if it is too, giving up all its strength for this dim light. I wonder if it misses its glory days too, when it shone on top of the world with all its brilliance. But ofcourse No, the sun never cared about the future. It probably didn't spend its peak hours preserving its light for a rainy day. It did not make all the plans in the world for tomorrow. No, it just enjoyed the moment while it could. I wonder if that makes it happier in these last moments, unlike me, who spent my whole life worrying about tomorrow. Making career, making a family, making money, all the while forgetting that my strength is leaving me. The grains of time are falling, taking me with it, piece pic credit: Google