“YOUR child is a Mongoloid. She is mentally retarded and will never be normal. Think in terms of the institution for it. "
Those were the scary words the midwife gave our baby just fifteen minutes ago.
It was around midnight and my wife calmed down. It was without a doubt the longest and loneliest night of my life. Any hope the doctor had made a mistake was shattered before dawn when a pediatrician confirmed the diagnosis. My wife had to listen and make a decision.
At around 9 a.m., I distributed the news to my wife. We prayed that whatever the future, the child would enjoy the warm atmosphere of our home.
But less than an hour later, the doctor rushed to tell her that the baby was vomiting blood and needed to be rushed to the local children's hospital. It was a mad rush through town.
That evening I was told that the bleeding seemed to have stopped and that only blood could be drawn during delivery. However, the heart began to fail. The girl apparently had severe congenital heart defects and was told she would not survive the night.
However, the next morning she proved the doctors wrong, as she often would in the future. The bleeding had stopped. Her weak little heart was still beating. For the next eight days, we saw her through the glass walls of her incubator as she struggled to survive. How wonderfully the Creator implanted an incredible resistance to life in all, even the youngest and the weakest! Although the care team expected her to live for a short time, they said we could bring her home now.
As I sit here and write, a beautiful and happy blonde girl, now ten, is playing on the floor next to me. She just called for a long consultation with her grandmother on the health of her favorite doll. It's hard to believe she's the same girl we cared for night after night over a decade ago when her life was in danger.
The next seizure came a few days after we brought her home from the hospital. He took his bottle with gusto, but he couldn't hold anything in his stomach. Doctors thought he had an obstruction in his intestines. But he was so weak that it seemed impossible to think of an operation.
Return to hospital
However, a few days later, she had to be taken back to the hospital because a bowel obstruction was already permanent. He would have truly died without the operation. The responsible pediatrician informed us that the surgeon would like to see us in his office.
My wife and I sat down at his desk to prepare for another blood transfusion station. But we were wrong. His concern was not permission to use blood. “Your daughter,” he said, “is mentally retarded. It will always be a burden on you and the company. If he was my daughter, she wouldn't have an operation. Give me permission to remove your IV tubes and you'll have her dead in a few hours. "
We went home numb and promised to get a response within the hour.
For thirty serious minutes, we pondered the Doctor’s recommendation, but in reality there was only one choice to be made. We both respected the sanctity of life. Besides the religious and moral aspects of the problem, there was also the simple fact that we loved the child. Late or normal, we wanted him to enjoy life. Who really knew the extent of their delay? As promised, the doctor received his instructions within an hour and he was at his operating table in two hours.
Great surgeon, great hospital and staff, no blood transfusions and she survived! But the next crisis came quickly. Nice call from the surgeon. I was so dehydrated that the seam couldn't hold. Everything collapsed. The process must be repeated in full. This time he was unlikely to survive. But what a change in the mind of the doctor! His life force aroused his admiration. "I give her a medical vaccine and she just reacts," he admitted. Now he was so anxious to keep her alive at all costs that he spared no effort.
He was alive again. Eight weeks later, eight weeks of incubators, white clothes, masks and intensive care, and once again we brought her home.
Joy overcomes problems
It was the dramatic beginning of a small life that gave our family so much happiness.
During the first years of her life, we wondered if she would ever learn to speak. Our reflections now generate smiles, because we sometimes wonder how we can make them stop talking. For several years it seemed as if she would not live, and it was really a wonderful day when we went into the game room to find her standing, shaking and shaking, but standing. Many common things in normal children are the height of joy for the mentally handicapped.
She jumped down the aisle from the school bus few days ago, laughing and eager to show me her latest homework. Several times we were praised by the interlocutors for the good manners and the clear articulation of the girl who answered the phone and we no longer need to explain that she is mentally late.
Mongoloid babies have few antibodies in their system and colds are also a serious problem. For most Mongoloids, every winter is a series of lung infections, bronchitis and in their case pneumonia as well. We are very grateful to the doctors who are particularly interested in these children, and there are many. When she was four years old, she made several trips to see the Doctor.
What happens if your child is mentally handicapped?
Of course, we are not alone. Hundreds of thousands of children are born with mental health problems every year. Mongolian is just one of many types of delays. All affected parents have the same basic problems.
"Why did this happen to us? What should we do now? Should we keep the child or find an institution? How will it affect the rest of the family? What will friends and neighbors think? What did we do wrong? We should do more" Having children, how to handle the situation are just some of the questions that parents need to answer in this problem.
We all want to give you a simple piece of advice: relax. Take the baby home and let the time run out. My wife and I, our second son and a girl with long blonde hair, are here to support this advice.
We often think of the doctor who wanted permission to let her die. He accidentally let us decide if we wanted it or not, if it was normal or late. Since then we have never looked back with remorse and what a blessing it has been for us!
There are many rewards for parents of the mentally handicapped. Those who remain feel love and express it with total absence of inhibition. The benefit of this influence for the benefit of each family cannot be measured. For example, if there is dissatisfaction in my face, how long can I get bored when small steps constantly chase me around the house and a small voice asks why I do not smile? Because problems, disagreements or even financial difficulties become trivial when you experience the warmth and affection of a retarded child!
For most parents, delays occur suddenly and most are uninformed. Obviously, it's an experience that no one wants to do. Here are some very simple preparatory steps you can take.
First, ask what facilities are available in your community: kindergartens, home care, medical specialists, etc. Often there are dentists, opticians and other people specially trained for people with disabilities. And many services are available for free.
Then take a look at the schools that exist. Most communities have schools and children are often transported by bus.
Don't underestimate your child's ability to learn. Our daughter wanted to learn to tie her shoes. In all honesty, I didn't think she could learn and I didn't have time to teach her. One day she proudly pushed me into a chair and I watched her tie the two laces into beautiful frames. She was just tired of waiting for help and dominated everything on her own.
It was last week that we were proud to see her happily jumping to the bottom of the diving board before diving into deep water, getting up and cuddling by the pool for the top prize in a competition,Diving for disabled children.
She drives her two-wheeler, calls, writes a Bible text regularly for the day on the kitchen table.
Most important of all: love!
If I had to highlight one point of treatment and support for children with disabilities, I would focus on the simplest and most important thing: loving the child. Love will do more than schools, doctors, psychologists, social workers or special schools. If you love the baby, she will love you; not just with the normal affection that exists between parents and children, but with a love so intense and overwhelming that it simply challenges the ability to produce superlative adjectives. Although the retarded child is so limited in many ways, she seems to have a lot of love.
One of the biggest rewards with our daughter recently came during a multi-day hotel stay. At the end of our stay, a doctor who saw our two children playing in the pool every day asked permission to ask me a personal question. Can you imagine my surprise when he asked me, “Is your little girl retarded?” Despite his medical training and several days of observation, he was not sure.
Unfortunately, perhaps the biggest problem for parents of children with disabilities is the lack of understanding on the part of uninformed people, adults and children. How we want more people, including those in our community, to educate themselves and their children on how to view people with limited abilities. If parents do not make the effort to explain the problems of the disabled to their children, difficulties often arise. As at the time, another child hootingly accused our little blonde: "You are retarded!" There is simply no answer when a mentally retarded child kneels down and wants to know what it means to be retarded. ""
Thank you if all of your children are normal. But when you hear the words “your child is retarded,” there is still a lot to be excited about. Invest a lot of love and the return will be more than you and your family can get.
