Why some like us remain in codes

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Avatar for Vincenzina
2 years ago

Hi! I am Vincenzina. Though it isn't obvious but Vincenzina is my code name. I am writing in hiding, for obvious reasons like I don't want to be judged. Judged for who I am not. Because I know myself, and judgements are detrimental to me. I know myself and I am not giving in.

Just like many others, I put my mask on and go on writing. I do not know how one living in codes like me will ever get into the open and say, hey! This is me and I am me.

I have different voices. But so many difficult and contradicting personalities. I hate my life while loving it. I love my passion while hating it. I like romance but I married not my love but someone else.

The realities of life struck me like lightning in the night. Coupled with thunders never heard of. I shake to the bottom of my bones and I shiver in the cold of the night. In the sleeplessness brought about by vanity.

I wish for nothing but freedom! But even freedom will result in persecution. And even persecution is a daunting event.

So I hide. I hide in codes.

Like cryptocurrency encrypted like never imagined in the past. Who would have known there's this zero-knowledge proof? You confirm something without ever divulging anything to anyone. Impossible! I thought at first. But that's how it came to be.

Even the simplest of things, I sometimes have to do it in hiding. Hiding in the smile of this dried lips. Dried in the sun of everlasting loneliness.

I'm quitting my life as a normal person. Because I did horrible things and I can't seem to be redeemed. Only in Him I will be! So I will be offering my full harvest this two weeks. Harvest from the fruit of my labor as a teacher.

My heart is crying I don't know. When will my life stop I can't be certain. Responsibilities are hard to abandon. Who would be with my kids when I'm abandoned of life. And so I say to myself, cheer up and go on like usual. There's no time fudgeling over spilled milk. Enough talking in riddles and just get going.

But I will remain in codes for as long as I can.

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Avatar for Vincenzina
2 years ago