So it's a Saturday. I woke up, checked my phone, done the same things like yesterday then I finally sat down to write my first article for the day, uploaded the lead image then hit the publish button. I usually write more than three and it's tempting to publish every time but as I read some rules here and there, I realized that many think it is unbelievable to be able to. At least for well-written articles. I admit mine is mostly words. and things are different when it comes to publishing because you need more than words. Lead image for instance. And pictures to support what you are saying.
I am trapped yet again to this ever ending desire to produce. But lazy at the same time. I'd play tunes in my head but no words come out to go with the melody. I started out a poet but even being one is deprived of joy if you have nothing to share it with. I wanted romance. But the life I chose gave me nothing of it. So I make the most out of what's left. If we are grateful enough, we will see things beyond the shallowness of our minds.
Like any other day I am consumed by regrets. Of not thinking things through before doing what I did. What's with a person that he/she doesn't listen to the advices of the times? But life teaches us the hard way and we can only do so much to lift ourselves up from the pit that we have created.
Writing time of this very article started this morning. Then I thought of visiting the neighbors. I love sharing stories with them. We are the kind of group who uplifts each other when things are not so nice. I ate mango with vinegar and salt. Bought pancit bihon and ginataan for my children. It was a nice day to relax but I have my writing to go back from time to time. I took a photo on my way to our house. The girl's just cute. She's my friend neighbor's daughter.
I cooked rice before noon so we would be eating the normal time for lunch. But the kids went out to play so I have to wait for them to come back. I went back to my chair and continued typing and browsing thru articles. I also have other things to do but I allow myself to write whenever I feel like writing.
When my mood's okay, I will be researching about indicator function. It was mentioned many times in our notes and I will be figuring out what I'd do with our activities even if it's hard for me. I still can't accept how they're saying I'm good when in fact I study very hard. Nothing comes to plate that easy. We work hard for it. And those things are not to be bragged about but to be respected. We at times are underdogs and that's never pleasant. I hate that. So I work my butt off. I had a hard time dealing with the concepts of one of our subjects so I will be really busy later.
My eyes wandered thru the unwashed plates and I did them the quickest I could. I swept the floor and buffed it a little to make my place better.
But after all, I'm still sighing. But then I believe this is my way of being at peace and happy. Not an exciting life maybe but joyful at least in my own way. I appreciate the dew in the morning, the noise of children running around the neighborhood during waking hours, the high voices of mothers whose children needed some beatings, and many other things that you would regard ordinary but actually very special for me.
I checked the back of my laptop and I saw the yellow can that I put there for pens and pencils and staplers and calculators. Then I was glad. My heart is at peace. I treat these things like my angels and saviors. They also give me joy when I needed to jot down notes or write random thoughts that will be attended to later.
Life is still good.
