Today in the modern era where the science of human biology has spectacularly progressed so far, virginity is still associated with the male psyche inextricably. The vagina does not reflect a site of sexuality but many more intricate things going on in the genitals. The anatomical myths of female virginity make the life of women more difficult worldwide although for so long the truth has been known in the medical fraternity. But still, numerous misconceived notions about female virginity exist to date. It’s a high time of dispelling the myth of vagina and virginity.
Hymen Fallacy
Among the men crave for virgin brides is still a huge obsession in many countries like India. The first myth is of considering hymen as a hall mark of Virginity. Many of us consider hymen as a thin membrane covering the vagina which after sexual intercourse was broken and leads to bleeding. So if no blood on the sheets, a woman fails to be a virgin. Do the women need to bleed to prove their virginity? This is the biggest myth that is most prevalent among the male psyche and has lived over centuries.
These fake myths are used to control women’s sexuality globally across cultures, religions, and historical misbeliefs. Even in the worst cases, no bleeding on the wedding night yields honor killings. What kind of society we are living in? What kind of fake heritage we are carrying? We are simply curtailing female opportunities and freedom. In reality, the hymen is merely an elastic membrane existing either outside or inside the vagina and nothing like a seal. It has no anatomical function. It may have many holes, lobes, and varies across the women in looks and shapes. So at the first sexual intercourse membrane is not broken but owing to its elastic nature it only gets stretched a bit. Among numerous women, it's elastic enough to handle sexual intercourse without any physical damage. Therefore it is high time to dispel the myth that a seal disappears after vaginal intercourse. Thus, the hymen can't be proof of virginity. We cannot distinguish a virgin or non-virgin hymen.
The hymen is simply stretched upon vaginal sex. But, it’s not the only way to stretch it out as hymen is elastic and can be open up by using tampons, inserting something inside the vagina, cycling, playing different sports, and many other things. Losing virginity and having sexual intercourse is a distinct phenomenon in many aspects. Numerous women are borne with the naturally opened hymen, thus being a virgin and having a hymen are different things.
Except you, no one can tell that you are a virgin or not. Many countries are still following sick traditions where the groom has to show bloodstained sheets as a mark of virginity. In other places, the two-finger test is followed in the rape victims to test whether they have consented for sex or not. These are absurd thoughts of an ill mindset. Scientifically no approach can tell about your virginity. Virginity is not a thing to lose rather it’s a quality in our mind, heart, and head which cannot be lost.
Another Big Fat Lie
Unfortunately, vaginal sex in wedlock is not always a license to have healthy sex. Sadly, forced sex or rape happens in the institution of marriage everyday. Letting yourself virgin until marriage doesn’t assure a healthy sex life. Either in wedlock or out of wedlock, for sex, we need to be comfortable with our mindset, the partner and it’s all out of love where we have mutual consent.
Social stigma
Many girls surviving sexual abuse and are forced to restoring hymen to avoid social stigma after marriage. It simply perpetuates a narrow-minded and sick attitude. The young boys, men, and families need to be given sexual education as the priority. Hymen cannot ascertain that a girl had sexual intercourse or not.
Virginity is not an indication of purity or impurity. It’s your own right and only you have the right to your body.
Ladies, you are precious!
Interesting take.