Alucard is at the funeral of an old High School friend in Land of Dawn.
They’re all standing in the graveyard gathering their thoughts after the coffin has been lowered, when Alucard notices Lesly, another old friend from his High School days.
“Hello Lesly” says Alucard.
“Hello buddy, it’s been a long time. How are you?” asks Lesly.
Alucard responds positively but he’s puzzled as to why Lesly is carrying an attaché case at a funeral.
“What’s in the case?” asks Alucard.
“Oh, this is a tool of my trade.” says Lesly.
“What do you mean? What sort of tool is it?” asks Alucard.
“It’s a high velocity rifle.” says Lesly.
“Now why would you need a high velocity rifle?” asks Alucard.
“Because I’m a hitman.” says Lesly.
“Dream on! You’re yanking my chain, surely?” says Alucard.
“I’m serious” says Lesly, “I make my living as a hitman. Take a look.”
With that Lesly opens the attaché case to show he does indeed have a high velocity rifle complete with telescopic sight and silencer.
“Wow” says Alucard, “Can I take a closer look at that?”
“Sure!” says Lesly. With that he assembles the rifle, fits the telescopic sight and then passes it across to Alucard.
Alucard lifts the rifle to his shoulder and peers through the telescopic sight. “Wow! This is amazing. I can see everything so clearly.”
“Impressive, eh?” says Lesly.
“Yes sir. I can see right across Central Park. I can even see my own apartment on Central Park West.” says Alucard. “Wait a minute I can see right through my bedroom window and I can see my wife’s having sex with my neighbour.”
“Really?” says Lesly.
“Yeah, really!” says Alucard. “How much do you charge for a hit?”
“Well I charge $10,000 dollars per shot but with this telescopic sight I only ever need one shot to hit the target.” says Lesly.
“Right!” says Alucard. “I’ll have two. I want you to shoot her right through the head and I want you to shoot him in the genitals.”
So Lesly takes the rifle, puts it so his shoulder, peers down the lens of the telescopic sight and carefully starts taking aim. However he then seems to take an age, as he starts waving the rifle barrel around and keeps adjusting the line of sight.
As he waits, Alucard starts getting increasingly agitated as he thinks about what’s going on in his apartment.
“What’s going on now?” he asks, clearly freaking out. “What are they doing? Why are you taking so long? Why are you hesitating?”
“Have patience my friend”, says Lesly. “I’m trying to save you ten grand.”
Is this mobile legend?😂