We’ve all been there. That comment with a tone full of judgment and negativity that flies out of your mouth when your husband doesn’t do something you wanted him to. You know deep down that you shouldn’t, but the frustration takes over and the nagging begins.
Once it starts, it’s hard to turn off. It tends to create a spiral, starting with one negative thing and putting into focus anything else you don’t like. In reality, it doesn’t do anything good. It only undermines and creates a wall between you and your husband. Now you know why this is the article every husband wants his wife to read!
If you find yourself nagging your husband, there are healthier options that will help you and your marriage stay on track. Try some of these tips instead. Shifting your actions and mindset will make a big difference.
Encourage
Nitpicking only tears down your husband. What if you started to encourage him instead? Encouraging your husband will help you see the positive he IS doing, rather than focusing on the negative and letting the nagging spiral begin.
Show gratitude
Saying thank you to your husband will keep you off the path of being hypercritical and remind him of his worth. It forces you to look at the positive and not take advantage of him. An attitude of gratitude is a great weapon against nagging. {Tweet This}
Speak your needs in a way he can hear you
Criticism won’t send your message clearly. It only creates division, emotional walls, and defensiveness. Try sharing with your husband what your needs are without putting him down and undercutting him. Be clear with him and help him understand why something is important to you. When you are open and vulnerable, it feels softer and more inviting. Nagging makes people seem cold and prickly. Check out why it is important to break down emotional walls here.
Accept that he is human
No one is perfect. Your husband will disappoint you. He will make mistakes. It is important for you to expect that he is human and give him grace when it shows. Of course, you need to pick your battles and bring up important issues when necessary. But, sometimes, you just need to let go of the little things and move on. If you need help forgiving when it is hard, read this.
Don’t take it personal
Sometimes people tear down others because they feel hurt or attacked. It can be used as a weapon. But what is going on might not always be something personal. Do you think he really left the dishes in the sink to bother you? Most likely not. Before you jump to a critical reaction, it’s good to take a step back and see if you are seeing the situation clearly. Once you have clarity, you can either let it go or address it in a way that he can hear you.