Women may fake orgasms, but men can fake an entire relationship.
A couple is out in a dance club one night. There's a guy on the dance floor who makes it big: breakdancing, moon walking, backflips, the work. The woman turns to her husband and says, "See this guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." The husband says, "Looks like he's still partying!"
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a few minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked confused. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
Two men were talking. "So what's your sex life like?"
"Oh, nothing special. I have sex in social security."
"Social Security Sex?"
"Yeah, you know, I get a little every month, but not enough to make a living."
A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house and the woman turns around and says: "It's my husband, you have to go!" The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes and out onto the street when he notices something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman: "Wait, I'm your husband!" She answers and gives him a dirty look. "Then why did you run?"
One day a man came home and was greeted by his wife in stunningly sexy lingerie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went to play golf.