The end
Okay this is actually the end of "dear crush " .... I've been busy lately exams and school stuff ,but I'm here to finalize everything .
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So after Valentine things went back to normal between us ... there were times we didn't speak to each other , there were times we talk like it was our last day together ,my exams started I became busy after my exams Goodie exams started he became busy at the end we didn't had time ( I actually had free time but I didn't want to disturb) ... anyways Goodie called few days ago saying we ain't going to speak to each other in five months cause his working on himself lol .
Dear crush
How're you ,I hope you're well ... lately things have been bumpy I know but I guess it's just life ... so ermmm crushy crush ( we crushed on each other) I don't know what road we are on ..I wish I knew , there was a time I actually prayed for us but seems like God had bigger plans . Goodie even if things don't go as planned I just want you to know that I'm grateful for meeting you , going to the gurus ...i don't want to sound mushy but every moment , call ,text with you was worth it. Thanks Goodie
Your crush
Evangelista Heart ❤️
Dear crush
It's Valentine 😒🙄 ....
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Okay so .. the thing is that I don't really know what to do or say since it's Valentine's day ....but yea I got a new bible!!!😂
Obviously before today, Goodie said he got proposals from girls to be their date for Valentine ..he said he refused I don't know why tho ... it's vice versa too .. since I don't have any specific thing to do today ... I'll talk about the first day I set my eyes on him ...
And 😂 ... I didn't plan this to be mushy or cheesey so...here goes nothing 😶.
That day I was in class ( the tutorial) and I noticed this tall figure at the entrance of the building ,his height was obviously an oppression to short beings....his presence was authoritative, commanding and all that powerful words😂,he had this ebony skin of induced hot honey ...from afar I could see how clear it seem ,his eyes were everything ...his eyes held so many misteries and adventures I'll love to explore ....his shoe size was 43-44 obviously his my Godzilla (😂 wondering how I knew his shoe size ,he told me) .....he dressed so simple I think a shirt and a trouser ...( Can't really remember everything tho) , but after staring at him ...I noticed he stared back. for a moment we had this fixed gaze on each other ...at first him staring at me made me uncomfortable but I saw the intensity ,the fire ....I saw this innocent and stubborn look in his eyes which made it difficult for me to discern his thoughts that moment ... immediately I looked away .
Since it's Valentine as teenagers we're meant to have ice cream and sharwarma while watching movies that would have been so awesome 😩but!!!! The distance between us is 494 miles or 795 km , which takes about 11 hours 48 minutes that if the driver is fast 😔...
Anyways to you Goodie ... right now I don't have the best gift for val but I know if you were here I would have gotten a Bible for you too cause I got a Bible for myself today 😂..but still I wish you great valentine 😏 don't hope for anything ... having me in your life now is more than a valentine 😂💔 ... anyways have fun switches
To be continued
By the way end of "Dear crush" is the conner 🌹
Dear crush
Two years anniversary!!!🎊🎊🎊🎊***************************
Like I said we got to know more about ourselves , and yes at a certain time arguing was the order of the day for the both of us 😂 ....most times it becomes toxic for him ,most times it became stressful for me .. and we kept pushing .
It's our two years anniversary !!! 🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊😂 Damn ! Two years of how time flies , two years of liking just one particular male ,two years of believing him ...phew! ...I need a drink 😂 ...on this day of my anniversary with my crush I'll just be thankful , thankful for everything .
Is there still need for me to keep calling him my crush? No 😂 it's obvious already ,did I mention that I was also his crush ? Not sure ...so yes he said he had a crush on me too .
Anyways I'm just happy to have gone this far with him ... This will literally be the shortest write up so far ,cause it's our anniversary and I'm preparing for exams 😭😭💔
Happy Anniversary Goodie ❤️
Dear crush
Normal evangelista life 😇
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We went our separate ways ,I went back home at Aja ( a place located in the heart of Lagos) so I actually don't know how life went for my crush after the tutorial but I'll tell you little about me but before that 😂 this isn't my diary , I repeat this isn't my diary it's a pre letter ( if that's a word) to my crush 😂.
So I went back to my normal daily activities , waiting patiently for my post utme exams by the way I really didn't read for my post utme cause I was confident about my jamb score and shii .
One faithful day which I can't really remember 😂 someone DM me on WhatsApp ( a social media network where people who have each other's contact communicate through texting) ..at first I didn't know who it was till he introduced himself as Goodness 😲 ,that moment I was like "OMG!" And for the record he was annoying at first like the first few weeks of chatting with him was something else entirely ( that feeling when you finally get to chat with your crush and it wasn't what you expected) 😪 I have lost history of our chats tho , anyways he was also waiting for admission just like me so the tension was there ...we were both helping each other out with word's to calm down our nerves I guess 😂 ..😪God knows I prayed for him like we were going to attend the same school , besides if I can remember vividly he said stuffs like we graduating together and shii ...but God had bigger plans for us ,well I got admitted into college and him ...for the record I think his pretty smart and I think he would have been to college if he went for a lesser course of study 😩 but his determined just like me😌.
So I went to college , first my plan was to be a" lone wolf "..but like I said God has bigger plans ..I made two crazy friends 😂 and these girls are so damn intelligent they push me to strive harder academically and they can be so so sassy and classy tho😂by the way they're tall girls 😩🤲🏼 ( I've got to mention my friends here)
Okay there's Nnenna the no - nonsense , sassy and confident girl she's a physics maniac 🤲🏼😩God knows when it comes to her I be like" I think you cheated when God was giving intelligence for physics"😂 she's pretty good , and she can be so matured at Times mehnn , I like her cause she's smart , a fast thinker by the way I love fast thinkers .
And there's Deborah but I prefer oshor , she's the sarcastic , technological and funny one 😂 she's really good in biology and chemistry I saw her as a great competitor till we had three different tests to compete she was higher in biology than me I gave her the room for biology but when it came to chemistry I ruled!! 😂 Haq! And oshor is one slow thinker tho 😪💔 she has good self esteem and she's also the one who crushes on so many boys 😂💔( like how can one person have 8 crushes,for Christ sake!!) That's that .
Now back to Goodie I don't know how life went with him at home but the little he told me ..I think he went for some lectures or tutorial I think and I think he had a girlfriend , somehow I was happy for him that he found love tho 🚶.
Well our chatting days on " WhatsApp " could be counted ...we were pretty busy then, 😪 first off I forget things intentionally so I might not really remember everything tho
Then there came school strike and the covid-19 pandemic which made us all locked up at home ..I think our chats were still urghh , I was dealing with some weird guys then tho 😂 ( for the record males are weird I can never understand that species) ,,,my crush and I started chatting frequently we got to know things about ourselves .....
To be continued 😂... that's if he doesn't provokes me, Haq!
Dear crush
One minute he says he likes me a lot then the next he says his confused about his feelings
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This is literally the journey I had with my crush ...my name is Evangelista Heart ,yea like heart the organ of the body ...I think my name has more meaning than it seems , I'm 17 but not your ordinary teenage girl ...I had this mentality that I had more to offer as a human....at 8 my reasoning was different from my age mates , different in the aspect of higher reasoning ... growing up I've been the quiet ,most reserved child in my family and around my mates ,one thing I knew growing up was that I was lucky with friends ,oh yes I'm pretty selective and when it comes to making friends,eat foods and stuff most importantly I'm a very shy person...I can't really talk about my appearance but according to people I'm good looking lol, thanks to my ma and pa , okay so I'll be quick to talk about my crush .
I wrote jamb the first time to people I did well but to me ..nope I flopped ,so I told my mom one afternoon after thinking about my life lol
" Mom I need to attend a tutorial to help me prepare more for my exams " i told my mom " sure anything for my baby girl " she replied sweetly. 😂Yes I'm the baby of the house , obviously the last born of two older siblings . At that period my mom was busy with work and all that adult responsibilities, so I suggested that I stayed over at my aunt's place to prepare for my exams and that's where it all began .
Not really all began tho..I mean ,I was in the tutorial for a month plus I guess till he came ,yes my crush that's when he came into the picture a month to the end of the tutorial , his name is Goodness but l prefer Goodie , okay his tall , ebony skin ,defined nose , perfect set of teeth with his dark , brimming eyes
The first day I saw I really didn't see him as much of a big deal till he proved himself ,he was damn intelligent! ,I saw him as a threat to me academically but with time I noticed there was more,there was more to his brains his eyes ,his eyes🥺 always caught me off guard deep down I do wonder how can someone have such beautiful eyes, most times I get lost looking at him lol .
Okay that's that , funny part is that me and this boy talked twice or once if I'm not mistaken ,😭😭 like the hell ,I knew I had a crush on him but I was helpless besides I was just there for my exams to I had to focus on it ...I was sad tho I literally didn't spent time with him ,well he left earlier than me ,,,,we wrote the exams and went our separate ways.
To be continued .....
First step
If faith were to die Young ,she would like some other woman to look after jey , to try to make a life for him .
She slaved as never before over their Christmas party. sometimes she got up ludicrously early in the morning. Nelson would come down to breakfast and find a smell of cooking in the kitchen, even though all the mess had been cleared away. " You're a funny little thing ' he said to her giving her a squeeze.
Faith was not funny not was she a little thing. She would look at herself thoughtfully. She was tall , not willowy as Hayley, but tall .she was deadly serious about her family and her work. Why was it the action of a funny little thing to get the party right? He used to tell her how much he loved it, that he had always been one for ceremony and celebration, but Hayley had never wanted to bother. But faith would pick no fights , manufacture no rows . Not at the festive season .
Alison arrived a day earlier than she was expected. Faith came back from work and found her halfway through Eating a tray of intensely complicated hors d'oeuvre. Each one had taken three minutes to assemble,they would take one second to eat , and faith had made sixty of them , shaping the curls of filo pastry with endless patience, and leaving them to cool before freezing them. It represented three hours of her life.she looked at Alison with pure hatred.
Alison looked up from behind the curtain of hair. ' these aren't bad . I didn't know you were a homemaker as well as a career woman.' Faith's face was white with rage . Even Alison noticed. " These weren't for supper or anything were they ? She said
Jenny took the deep breath that all books on step-parenting seemed to recommend.it was so deep,it reached her toes.
" Welcome home Alison,' she said. ' No , these weren't for supper not at all.they were just something for the party. Party" ? " Yes , on Sunday. We have the family. It's a tradition.' ' I think things have to be more than just three to four years to be a tradition ,' Alison said
' this is our sixth Christmas together, so I suppose that feels like a tradition'. Faith shoes were hurting she wanted to take them off and beat her step daughter senseless with it's high sharp heel . But she felt it would have been both unseasonal and counter- productive . There was no way faith was going to enjoy this Christmas, what must she do was to contain it . She tried to remember that phrase people used _ what was it ? Damage limitation ? _ she had never known quite what it meant. Had it something to do with saving what you could? She often found at work that if you thought of something quite irrelevant and not allowed your mind to click through the motions, then it prevented you from flying off the handle .
So many things been happening lately but ... I'm hopeful that there's light at the end of the tunnel ..
I'm happy to be back!!!
First step
Faith and Nelson gave wonderful holiday parties. Always on the Sunday before.they do ask the whole family,his and hers , they produced jey for just enough time for everyone to think he was adorable and never for that one moment too long when people would tire of him.they made the party a huge buffet so nobody was trapped with anyone else. The house was festooned with decorations, usually real Holly and real ivy gathered from the country side where it was growing wild .there was nothing vulgar about the tree .but everyone knew that that somewhere, discreetly,were the gift wrapped presents that must have poured in to a couple so loving as Nelson and faith .
Years passed 8 Christmas to be precise,faith stood sometimes in her magnificent kitchen listening to the murmurs of appreciation. Nelson first wife had never done anything like this .oh no one had been invited across the door in Hayley's day . Hayley had been far too hoity-toity to bother with family.
That was Faith's reward .that was the glory for weeks ,no months, of preparation and planning and shopping and making it seem so stress free and effortless. Nelson had grumbled slightly when faith said they should have a second freezer, but then he wasn't there when she made the mountains of mince pies and stacks of savouries. Nelson didn't know how faith worked in that kitchen on the nights he had meetings or had to stay out of town. He can never know .she would be as different from the beautiful, selfish Hayley as it was possible to be. And her child jey would be an angel not a devil, as Hayley's child had turned out.not a dangerous, destructive girl like Alison.
Alison had been nine when faith met her first. Very beautiful, with untamed curly hair almost covering her face .she had made no pretence at politeness .
' How much did it cost ?' she had ask Faith about the new dress. ' why do you want to know?' faith was spirited from the start. ' I was asked to find out' Alison shrugged as if it didn't matter very much. ' By your mother? Faith could have bitten her tongue the moment she said it . ' Heavens no , mother wouldn't be remotely interested' the way she said it, Faith knew she was speaking the truth , the lovely lazy Hayley would not indeed have cared . ' Who then ?' ' the girls at school.one of my friends said you must be after father for his money .'
It hasn't really got any better. When she was ten , Alison had come to stay for a weekend and had tried on all Faith's clothes and used all her make up . It wouldn't have mattered so much if Every single lipstick had not been twisted out of shape, and every garment marked with make up.
' she was only dressing up, all little girls like doing that', Nelson said ,his eyes pleading .
Faith decided not to first row on the losing battlefield of the stepchild.she managed to smile and planned a lengthy session at the dry cleaners.when Alison was eleven jey was born. ' Did you forget to take your pills '? She asked faith when her father was out of the room . ' We wanted him , Alison, just as your mother and your father wanted you .'
' oh yeah?' Alison had said,. And Faith's heart was leaden . It was true that she had wanted the child much more than Nelson had .how could this monstrous step daughter have found her vulnerability?
When Alison was twelve,she was expelled from school.the counsellor said that it was all to do with her feeling's her father had rejected her .she must be allowed to spend more time as part of his life, Nelson was out at work all day, and so was Faith,they treasured the time they took together with jey . Time when the quiet Swiss au pair went to her room and left them to be a family. Now they had Allison on long visit sulking, yawning, contributing nothing, criticising everything .
When she was thirteen ,she didn't want to come near them , which was bliss , except that it made Nelson feel rejected. Faith worked in a publishing house . She told her colleagues ruefully that she could see why there were so many books on a step parenting, she had read them all and she could have written half a dozen more . But none of them had ever had to face anything like Alison .
When Alison was fourteen ,her mother died . Suddenly and unexpectedly, after a routine operation. Nelson had to go to Alison's boarding school . ' I expect you'll have to have me now ' she had said to her father . Nelson said it nearly broken his heart that his only daughter considered herself a package to be passed from one place to another. Faith forced herself to think about Hayley, dead before she was forty . Dead without ever lived properly.she put the thought of Alison to the furthest part of her brain. She knew it would spoil everything. There were going to be no happy endings in this story,no one would walk hand in hand into the sunset swearing undying friendship. She would do it ,she would do it for Nelson and oddly for the dead Hayley, whom she had feared and mistrusted in life. If faith were to die Young,she would like some other woman to look after jey ,to try to make a life for him .
To be continued .
What of you
Mainly Rachel liked them .the old people who dwelled and die in saranto ,the hostel for retired folks, there were river Banks to explore , gardens to walk on and hurts to relax.
Rachel was popular and the guests were found of her ,she didn't speak to them as if they were deaf or mad ,she didn't call them dear or dearie like other care takers.rachel would open up to them about her feeling's, family, love life ,eager and untidy life of hers . Her hair was all over the place because she was always running to be somewhere she was needed,she spends little Time in the dress and staff room . Rachel sit around asking about their families,she had this natural kindness. She remembers the names of the visitors, which was a bonus and she had the tendency to flirt with some of the son's or grandsons who came to visit the elderly.
Rachel was always between her job or the love of her life , which wasn't working out .
Rachel literally spends her earnings to look good for a Christmas trip which was planned by her boyfriend Ken now his saying it had been only a vague arrangement . Now she was flat broke ,she was hopeful thinking Ken would ask her to move in and live with him .he hadn't so she had to look for somewhere to stay ,she knew she could rely on Kate .
Kate doubtful it ,she looked at her younger sister, Rachel. Eager and lively ,yes trusting,yes but reliable no .
Yet she had no sense about men .the latest one Ken. Rachel was always selling herself short by staying with him .that wasn't a way to treat men . Rachel was a good looking woman,she didn't have to beg like this .
But Kate was no example of how a woman should treat a man ,her own fiancee had runaway with a woman much younger than Kate leaving her half of his property.but he had huge debts hanging over saranto . Saranto was watched over by Hazel and Heather the very unpleasant core of of saranto they made life a misery for everyone who came in to the place ,Kate wasn't ready to sell her little property to get a great Christmas .
Go on ,Kate , you can't get a better deal than that Rachel was eager .
' what do you need all that money for?' Kate asked weakly. ' I thought I'd go to a spa for a make over, apparently Ken likes smaller, thinner, younger looking girls,it turns out ' ' they all like smaller, thinner, younger girls, that's the system' Kate voice was clipped. ' right you go and see mother, leave everything here here to me '. ' I can't Rachel ' ' think of being on your knees to rest Haven and santa Rosa's and just go !' Rachel begged and Kate began to pack her case ..
To be continued.
When night comes
When I go to sleep at night
Bathed in stars and palest lights
I have laid all my sorrow to sleep
Throughout the night I sweep
An angel show's up in my dream and all my tears cease.
Locked in cage .
Chained like a slave
Shivering in fears
Overwhelmed with pains
Waiting for someone to heal the pain .
Looking at someone but waiting for the one .
We are together in the dark
Wanting to steal a glance
But he hid his face putting on black with his curly hair.
I wrapped myself in his arms.
Skin against skin , heads intertwined.
When night comes , it's his face I long for .
The dark are swept away with his presence .
Seems like nights is his domain
Then I'm ready to stay blind in the dark for him .
The night seem nothing less than the day when his with me .
I lingered around him just like fireflies
The hardest feelings is seeing him go before dawn.
Immediately my nerves came to ease.
I told him to let me fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
Sing a lullaby until the sun sets.
And stay by my side so my heart doesn't shrink .
All through the night till the moon leaves.
Don't sleep yet ,he said
For now hold me ,
Hold me tight for this moment and next.
Let our bones speak through the centuries about love.
Let them find it curled
So closely together.
They will have to pause
To sort out, whose arm does this belong to, which rib ?
But in the meantime you have to go.
I'm awake
I sold my sleep , just to be with him
To be alone the rest nights
Wish nights would stay forever without days .
I loved and forgot
And yet love tell me he will not forget
He told me to go but didn't bid farewell
Now I do not sleep.
I just close my eyes and dream about us.
When I talk to him in my dreams.
When I feel his loving words echo in my ears
When memories of the day run through my mind.
Only then I can call it a night well spent,a sleep tight .
Thoughts of mic
Nakunpenda
She has the skin of chocolate, her eyes were as dark as the coal for mining with her thick lustrous hair and her slim figure but a matured mind. like every other kid she's meant to love cartoons,games and doing nothing but having fun but reversed is the case for her .
My name is Nakunpenda and this is literally the story of my Life. "Nakunpenda!!! , what are you thinking about " mrs Rebecca jimoh asked nakunpenda's mother who is a local primary school teacher in the small community where they lived while her husband Mr Caleb jimoh worked as a mechanic in the popular complex of the community " mama you called me ..." Nakunpenda replied after realizing she was lost in thoughts as usual " won't you go outside and play with your friends,the holidays will soon be over and you know what that mean,....... " Yes yes reading I know " she completed her mother's sentence " but I don't want to play I want to listen to the stories how the white men came to our town mama " nakunpenda said with so much interest in her eyes ,she squeezed her wrapper that was tied around her waist in between her laps to be comfortable on the stool she sat on .
" Hmmm my curious daughter .." Rebecca chuckled before clearing her throats " I was just 6 when the news of white people spread like wildfire around the community, everyone wanted to see them ,they promised our ruler so many gifts if they were given half of the land ...with so much contemplations the ruler gave in to their demands and that's how they own laspagrow area " Rebecca said filling contended with her brief story . " No no mama that's not the part I want to hear ,I want to why we can't do inter marriage with the white men" nakunpenda asked curiously " tufiakwa "Rebecca exclaimed and spat on the floor. " Don't you ever say that again, what do you know ehn ! Oh so it's about that you albino friend again huh " Rebecca said already looking at her with disgust " Mama, Jace is not albino his ...." " Shut your mouth, what do you know " Rebecca interrupted her .
" I don't want us to have a conversation like this again ,for heaven sake you're just 8 years ,you know nothing " Rebecca arranged the tray of beans she was picking hissed and left nakunpenda confused .
" pissf pissf Penny penny " Jace calling out almost in a whisper at the back of nakunpenda's window " what are you doing here Jace it's very late " she said already blushing " I came to see you ,I waited for you at the tree house but you never showed up , what's wrong ? Jace said worriedly " climb up first " she said stretching her hands already to assist him inside her room through her window .
" So what's wrong,why didn't you show up " looking at nakunpenda waiting for a reasonable answer . Jace Brooke was the son and soul heir to the Brooke's the owners of the largest farm in the community and head of the laspagrow east area of the community , Jace was the definition of a ' beautiful boy " with his tousled thick dark hair , light skin and Jade green eyes and small pink lips ,his palms were so soft like he never lays his hands on anything hard .
"Hey stop staring .." nakunpenda said blushing trying to break the silence. " Well why didn't you come to the tree house so we could play " Jace asked again " I'm tired of deceiving myself " she replied covering her face with her two smallish hands jace chuckled seeing her covering her face " ... what do you mean deceiving yourself .." he asked . " We do play as couples daily when we can never get married in reality " she said already shy " married? Are you kidding me penny I'm just 10!! , We're just kids " Jace said already freaking out. looking at nakunpenda who looks like someone that would burst In Tears any moment from now. " Okay fine I'll marry you, I'll marry you penny when I'm older but let's be friends and don't cry " he already embracing nakunpenda.
" Really ,you promise ? She said looking into his eyes " ummh penny we know we're way to young but sure I promise I'll get married to you in the future " he said trying to cheer her up. Before he left they played puzzles .
The next day at the Brooke's mansion Jace was in his room being dressed by his mother Mrs Catherine Brooke " my baby boy looks so cute " she said pecking him on his cheeks. " I'm not a baby anymore mom , I'm a big boy now " Jace said trying to speak with a premature muscular voice . " Oh come here " Catherine said hugging him tightly .
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Nakunpenda at her house with her dad and his friend mister Clinton " I don't know ...Mr jimoh said worriedly " jimoh she's going to pass the scholarship just pay and you'll see the end product later,it would be fruitful " Clinton said convincingly. " Do you think you can learn in the big white man school " jimoh asked his daughter. " I'll papa, I'll !!! Nakunpenda jumped excitedly .
To be continued.
Out of my Head
You're sounding like my favorite song. I just want to keep it in replay , just when I think I might want to switch it up , you hit me with another melody.
I want you out of my head. And come and play with me instead, everything seems red. You're all I have been thinking of.
Things you said kinda took me off the edge, don't know why I pretend that I don't like you when I can't get you out of my mind .
Trust me babe I have tried , But I can't get you out of my head. Yeah ! I think it's time to slow down, cause now I'm thinking about you instead ,how do you do it let me know now . Cause I can't seem to get you can't get you out of my mind.
Normally,I don't just let anyone get a hold of me, but I have never seen your type are you from Mars? You're so wavy with your vibes,are you supposed to be? Get close to me I might just let you slide.
Change my life
I can't help but take it as your sign,yeah ! Cause you have never left my brain since, I have not been the same since. don't know what you're doing to me but I don't think I ever want it to change. Can't get you out of my mind.
When I hear you call my name swear it's like the best thing ever,now it's stuck inside my brain, but I'm not mad whatsoever ,now it is all I hear . And it's playing again,no matter what I try I can't get you out of my head .
Trust me I have tried but I can't get you out of my head, yeah! I think it's time to slow down, cause now I'm thinking about you instead. How do you do it , let me know now cause I can't seem to get you. Can't get you out of my mind.
I was told time heals,I was told I will get over you ,I was told that you're just a memory of my past . Do memories of the past become the reality of the future ? If I'm to heal from my hurt I will still have the scars?
Wondering if this feeling is mutual ,if it's hard for you to forget me . pretty sure I'm faded from your memory already .
I can live in the happiness of the past to sugar-coat the future . Most times I want a remedy from you sweet clutches but all the time I don't want to change this feeling.
I want to know how you do it m, why is it hard to get you out of my head .
Imagining in my head. Us holding hands, to have fun all over again. Walking by the ocean enjoying the cool breeze. For it has always had something to tell us .
If only I could hear a word from you just to keep me sane . If only I could perceive your breathe just to feel energized again . No choice but to unfulfill my wishes in my head.
To love again
The moment you stood by my side,I love the look in your eyes, yesterday I cried but today because of you I will be happy. It is not your face, it's not your style, all I needed was your soft loving, to forget my past . Now I can't do anything without you by my side.
I only know , I only know about love ,you knew this and yet you left me, I'm broken will I ever be fixed ? Not because you Left me all alone,but because of the pieces of me you took along.
What use to be reality,is all now memories of the past, now my heart is scarred and scared, not because of you or of the world, but simply to fall in love again. If this is the pain people say comes with love , then I would rather burn alive than feel this again .
They're timeless treasure of the heart ,I flash back and it feels like just a night,. My heart ,. Yearning as days goes by ,
I wish I could go back in time to know you were just going to play with my heart
it always had something to tell us the pains I felt aren't excluded for it also left a right message and influence to me, Sadly you're a memory that is one of my precious treasures
Why ? Because it has no end to it numbness, whereby in an infinite world of tears and my sobs can never reach your ears .
And maybe one day,or someday I find someone to wipe the pains , to heal the sour wounds to make me fall in love I will tell the stories of past love to growing ones ,
The thought of falling in love again brings nothing but fear , confusion, anxiety and questions running through my head .
Am I good enough ?
Was I meant for love ?
Will I ever fall in love again ?
Is love true?
And when the day you arrive for me to fall in love again only you , only you have got the answers to my in answered questions . Deep inside me I hope I'm ready to fall in love again . an illustration of my love life is about a birdie I was your petite birdie , the fact you broke my wings with your hands the hands you use to feel my cheek and appreciate the creation in front of you but that Petite birdie is stronger than before she is ready to fly higher than others .
Just like every other birdie, I set out to fly .....I fell
And broke my wings but unlike every other birdie I stayed on the ground ,
I admired my broken wings and worshipped my fall ,
I rose up dusted the sand of my feathers ,set my claws against the ground, looked up to the sky ready to take the highest flight , ready to fall in love again .
...... thoughts if mic🚨
Still here
Everyone seem to think I am somewhere else do you think so too?
Let me walk through the thought of what being with you makes me feel too .
Unsure but is still want to be here with you.
Unsure how I feel safe with you.
I love it when you need me .
It feels good when you are with me.
I was right there through the night just to make us right.
Now it's morning.
Joy without mourning.
Am still here.
Let me deal with the fear.
Am not leaving not now, not tomorrow,not ever .
The sun will look down on us and smile forever.
Even the skies will watch and she'd tears of joy .
I guess it doesn't matter I will outgrow all these fears .
I am not dying today
I have seen it all.
I have heard it all.
I have watched rocks fall on petals.
I have watched fire burst the flying balloon.
I have raced with a cheater.
I won the race.
I have faced the lion and watched it roar .
I didn't run or re-traced my steps.
I have seen terror.
I have witnessed war .
I survived.
I am alive.
I AM NOT DYING TODAY.
Can we be
Together we walked on the streets like it's ours .
What if we ride on a horse or maybe take a stroll to my house.
Then maybe when your feet start to hurt ,we shall sit on a rocky shore .
No thoughts
No talks
In your arms silence is our language.
Your breath feels like my oxygen.
I try to tell you how much I love you
I try to tell you how you make me feel.
But words abandon me every single time.
Can it be us .
Just us ,you and I forever .
Let's just listen to the ryhme of our hearts .
Feel the coolness of our breaths.
Since your love came in ,my doors have been shut.
Everything feels right with you.
I want to be here for a long time.
I think am ready .
I drew out my sword.
I touched my back to ensure my bow and arrow where tightly behind me .
And I fastened my helmet.
I felt the strength of a lion inside of me.
Little me
I didn't want to run no more.
I want to stand and fight.
I want to face you .
LIFE .
It's time for me to roar .
I guess there's no perfect time.
No matter how hard it may seem water is stronger than rock .
I think am ready.
I know I am.
Ever been among people but felt lonely , have you been in a relationship but felt single .
Ever wondered why you hurt in a relationship when you thought it was meant to be happiness.
Your partners past will not only hunt him or her but the both of you , that's why ex's get back with each other leaving the third party broken and hurt ,the past is a replica of the future don't intentionally make mistakes.
I too don't know the answers to these thoughts
Letter To God
Can't sleep I have been thinking about it.
Dear God , it's Triumph
We say we are strong God ,but most of your people are losing the fight .
Why does everything good always have to change.
What if the book we chose to read were never your words .
What if we get to heaven and don't get inside.
What if our whole lives we wasted time and can't go back .
Am older and looking for answers.
What if the devil entered the past and lead the church .
The devil is watching if am gonna turn from you .
Why does everyone telling us how to live but won't listen to the message they're giving.
Everybody said you are coming back then why is it taking so long
I had to call please pick up the phone.
Why is most conversations about you turns into a fight
Tell me what's real ,tell me what's right.
Tell me where am going is it heaven or hell
I hope this letter reaches you well.
I was walking with the devil , don't know how it felt but I remember the smell.
What's the point of living
What's the point of death .
What if life is just a test that we all do .
Revelations
My eyes are opening.
There's a lot of questions that I have to ask.
Why do we live in this way.
Whats the point of love.
Why do we act like we have more than one life .
What if the devil is cursed .
Why is everything about God a debate.
What if being born is dying and dying is birth .
Why are the ones we are working hard to keep never actually stays.
Imagine human without gods.
They say good prevail over evil but why ,why does it take so long .
Am holding my destiny in my hands but the pains and chaos in this world is making it loose .
My vision is blur .
Have you ever thought ,is this world just imaginary.
I wrote this knowing the express way to hell.
You don't owe nobody nothing doesn't mean you should live your life without rules and limits to keep you in check . your life is intertwined with someone else's .if you don't get it right, you jeopardize somebody else's life.
Black Friday
2020 again .
All we have are emotional rains .
Having a horrible pandemic.
Hearing bad news daily making me choke , getting sick.
The NBA lost number 24 .
Great rappers died at 24 .
Basketball for me, Black Mamba was the one .
2020 took him now his gone .
Behind 3 beautiful girls and a single mom .
Now fast forward to Black panther.
Can this year get any harder .
They say we are going up but I don't see us going farther .
What's wrong.
Why is human race suffering .
What's wrong !!!
Yesterday was a black Friday .
The world looks cloudy where's the bright day .
Why is 2021 coming late .
To leave this dark year ,dark days we just can't wait .
My tribute to Chadwick Boseman ( Black panther) and Kobe Bryant (Black Mamba) Rip .
Rest on
Breakfree
Fallen, didn't knew it was my resurrection
It seems bad but turns out it was worth it
Am no prisoner again to me or them
My wings are bigger than this cage
The chains are breaking
I see the light at the end of the tunnel
I smell victory
The tears are dried up
I can taste happiness now
I chose to breakfree cause it's time I had to
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Poison me
If am going to struggle to the top and find out there was nothing there for me.
Poison me now.
If am going to sell my birth right for some porridge .
Poison me now .
If am going to trade my friends and happiness for wealth .
Poison me .
If am going turn into a beast cause of my pains .
Poison me now .
Poison me so I will die a slow death .
Am no righteous person, I need forgiveness too .
Let me rest than to experience failures .
Time heals me
But time is not on my side .
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Happy life
When will dawn come .
The night has done nothing but stole our sunshine.
I cannot hear laughter's anymore.
I cannot see smiles on people's faces like I use to.
Why is the street so empty .
Why is the world quiet.
Am I losing my mind or is it the situation we all found ourselves in .
I miss the sound of laughter .
I miss seeing people grinning from ear to ear .
I miss the old African lifestyle.
Where we play with muds and broomsticks.
Where we find joy listening to stories under the moonlight.
Where we fall ill once in two to three years.
Where's that life ?
Where's the life of yam and palm oil ?
Where's the happy life?
Where ?
Alpha female
She's a fighter,with survival instincts.she had the heart of a warrior,the mind of a scientist and the beauty of a goddess .
She's an Alpha female.
Strange
You think I don't care but I hide my feelings in fear .
It's hard not to see you clear cause just like your name you're rare .
Promise not to ever let go .
You're one of the greatest blessings I have ever known .
Do you feel this too .
I know I profess my love in a strange way .
Even tho I can be a pain you always stay .
Btw I posted this immediately because of marvel 😂
Lost soul
They came twice and I murdered them without a second thought.
Now I live in regret when I'm alone.
My sins hunt me .
I enjoy my tears .
I can't be saved from myself.
I see a hideous being starring back at me into the mirror.
A reflection of my past hunts my everyday.
Nothing seems right anymore.
I might just end it.
I have cried enough.
You don't need to cry when an gone.
I think my journey has come to an end .
Save this as my words .
A farewell to all my friends.
Call me no more at least the pain will be gone for awhile.
@Triumph_101
