I sat at her bedside in the hospital, holding her hand & praying this Psalm, “Lord, we’re here dwelling in your shelter. You are our Most High. Let us rest under the shadow of You, our Almighty.” We were both scared. The pain in her head had come out of nowhere; in the midst of several family losses, it was like her heart couldn't handle the grief that was coming at her. After two weeks in the hospital we discovered that a tiny hole in my mother’s heart was allowing miniscule blood clots to make their way up to her head, causing unbearable pain. Eventually she was able to go home and the pain went away, but this verse stuck with me.
Years later I was reminded of this prayer & verse as I faced the sudden loss of my mom in a horse accident. The pain I felt was unbearable. Grief sucked the air out of my lungs & caused a tangible hurt in my heart. At times I couldn’t handle the waves of grief that washed over me.
I clung to His Word, to these words especially. I had no energy to do much more than just dwell...dwell in the shelter of His presence….to sit and let His presence cover & comfort me in my grief. It was the only way that I was able to move & function. To care for & minister to the others that I deeply loved & were grieving as well.
I could have chosen to dwell deeply in that pain & grief, letting it envelop & consume me. I’m not going to lie...at times I did just that. I would allow the pain to overtake me & I would give in to the hopeless despair that the loss of my precious mom brought. I would choose to abide in my hurt, & it would almost consume me.
Then this verse would come to mind, & I would choose Him. I’d take my thoughts captive & consciously make the decision to dwell with Him, in His shelter & loving protection. Soon, the most amazing thing began to happen. I realized that I was abiding in His shadow, where there was peace & protection. He took my mourning & gave me rest. When I make the choice to dwell in the shelter He provides, He will always give me rest in His very shadow.
